Beauty,
Thank you for inviting me to read your post. It sounds like you have a lovely and loving wife who is a rarity in that only about 10% of marriages stay intact once transitioning begins. Your advice to anyone moving past crossdressing is excellent and should be followed by all considering it.
Somehow, in the time I've known you, I always felt you were TS. Maybe because I saw in you so many things I felt personally. Maybe it was just a gut feeling. Regardless, I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.
You're so right about the difficult road one must travel if they decide to embark on this journey. Initially it's filled with fear and doubt. Family and friends may not react well. I was told by a GID specialist you must be prepared to lose everything, maybe you won't, but you should be so certain this is the path you need to take you are willing to lose it all. These words need to be taken seriously before moving on.
If it sounds like I speak from experience, I do. I began therapy in July of 2004. In the first session the therapist made a comment about transitioning that implied I was going to do it. I told her, "No way". It happened again in the second and the third and each time I said I'm not. In the fourth session I showed up dressed. She asked me if I was Jim or Julie. I started crying because I knew that my answer would mean a lot of pain. "Julie" I said. My response made me look inside myself and I saw a woman who had been denied the chance to live.
I told my wife everything that was discussed after every session. She was the one who encouraged me to go in the first place because she felt I could be cured of wanting to go out dressed and socialize. She attended a few sessions with me. In the first she asked if I had a split personality. The therapist responded, "No, absolutely not! Your husband is perfectly normal but you must understand that crossdressing is as necessary for him as breathing." She was silent.
She had known about my desire to dress since before we were engaged. I vowed I'd never keep any of this a secret. After we were married, she would schedule weekends without the kids so I could have a dress up weekend. We took mini vacations for the same reason. I was so appreciative I often went overboard showing it. When I joined Tri-Ess it was with her encouragement. When I attended meetings and socials she would preoccupy the kids so I could get out of the house unnoticed. The first time she saw me dressed she told me I looked good. She helped with makeup. She bought me girl things. She was great!
Back to the present...
When I told her I answered I was Julie, she interpreted it as I was female. The therapist gave me, individually, and us, together, books to read. We read them all. One book I was asked to read was "True Selves" which states on the cover 'Understanding Transsexualism For Famlies, Friends, Coworkers and Helping Professionals'. In the preface the author describes her first meeting with TSs. One sentence hit me hard, "At that meeting, I saw a level of emotional pain greater than I had previously imagined possible". Tears welled up and I began to cry uncontrollably. I knew this feeling. I have lived it all my life. When my wife read the book she was convinced I was TS.
With my therapist, who had worked with many TSs all the way through the final surgery, and my wife, who knew me better than anyone on earth, both indicating they felt I was TS I decided to seriously consider transitioning.
After looking seriously at what I might look like and coming to the conclusion I could never pass I decided not to do it. And I was okay with this as I was still in serious denial, as I had been all my life. But all my life I wanted to be a girl. I told my therapist my decision and why. She responded, "On the contrary, you could pass easily. I have seen many of my clients who were more masculine than you transition and do very well". These words were music to my ears. For the first time in my life I believed I could actually live life as a woman.
We continued therapy and I continued to keep my wife informed. I knew I had to wait three months before HRT and when I found I was past that I discussed HRT with my therapist and told my wife that day. I started HRT in November. I was in seventh heaven!
About a month later reality hit. My son found out and freaked. My wife ran to him and distanced herself from me. Family and friends were anywhere from absent in my life to somewhat unsettled to supportive. But at home things were gradually getting worse. My son stopped talking to me, my wife acted like I was an alien and my daughter was in denial. After all the support I had given my wife when she was going through menopause, not to mention our 23 years of marriage, I resented her abandoning me when I needed her most. When I told her I needed her and she turned away, I resigned to the fact that the marriage had ended. I stopped HRT and cut down on my dressing in hopes of getting her and my son back but it didn't matter. She wanted out. We divorced June 1, 2005.
Now, living alone, I'm free to choose whatever path I need to take. I went back on HRT just after the divorce. I don't know how far I'll go with it. I still have my daughter to think about not to mention a few close friends. For now it's just day to day.
Thank you Beauty for sharing your story. It helped me a lot. So many times I feel alone in this, like nobody understands and never will. I just hope I have the courage find the happiness that has eluded me all my life. With the help of you and others like you, maybe I will.
Julie
I am so delighted for you that you have finally let yourself be you. Hon, I can't say I'm surprised. You are Beauty-ful inside and out. Few people will start down the slope you did with T blockers and laser hair removal without a powerful need in them to be themselves. As far as the question I wouldn't ask, you anwered it. 
If I was a crier this is where I'd be gushing. I feel it inside, but I can't seem to let the emotions escape right now. Regardless the love makes me feel all warm inside.
I thought we'd talked about it before, but right now my brain is pretty garbled so it's hard to know which way is up.
Thank you ALL so much!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! 
Alone and deeply regretful that they made their own incorrect diagnosis and got around the Harry Benjamin SOC. Transitioning is not a joke. It's not a thing anyone should take likely. There's nothing wrong with being a CD'r. I'd be quite proud if I were.