Mid-course correction in my life

[Jeannie]

You ladies are wild. If you gals are ever in Connecticut give me a call. We we will have a freaking ball! Zippster you are the best. I wish you the best in life Hon! You deserve it. If others don't like you what you do Zippy. Just tell them what I do"Why don't you go outside and play hide and go F--- yourself!" Jeannie is so bad! Be who your are.Don't live for others. Remember. It's "YOUR" life. Everyone else gets to live theirs don't they? Why can't we? Hugs and kisses. Love all you ladies.


Love
Jeannie

PS. I love to make jokes but remember we are men in dresses. You must admit that's pretty funny! I put on some outfits and when I walk by the mirror I jump!My motto is "If you're laughing you're happy" Life without humor is like a day without dressing! Love you Zippy! You're the best Sweety. Enjoy your life and have fun. Please don't be depressed. I suffered with it all my life and I know it's no fun at all. It sucks!You are the only master of your domain.

[Bernice]

Bernice: That's not a stupid question just because it has a completely obvious answer: we talk and discuss life and try to enjoy ourselves just like other people do. (Right?)

Despite the fact that she attended a few local Tri-Ess meetings with me and the Tri-Ess SPICE conference with twenty other couples in Tampa a few years ago, she continues to harbor the ridiculously unfounded fear I'm dressing as a woman to attract a man. (She's a mess when it comes to all of her fears and insecurities. Two years of therapy haven't helped nearly enough, either.)

The opportunity to talk and discuss life is exactly why I'd like to visit with one or more CDrs like me in the next year or three.

Zippy, if you really looked like your avatar, then at least you would have a major asset to attract a man! Maybe you should show her some of what we write here, and see if it sounds like we want to do anything other than talk and discuss life.

It sounds like one possible explanation for your depression is that your wife, the woman you love so much, is not progressing beyond her insecurities either.

Be glad therapy is a viable option. Here it runs $300+ per 45 minutes.

Hugs,

Bernice

[KathyB]

Ah, Bernice... I don't encourage her to read anything because she'll ALWAYS pick the worst possible bit she can find and latch onto it like a lifeboat in a hurricane.

I can definitely tell you that attending SPICE in Tampa a few years ago was a good thing because she met two completely different groups of people:
a) professional businessmen who happened to also be cross-dressers
b) women who were married to these men (some not nearly so happily)

Sunday morning I brought up the idea of me driving up to Roanoake alone for a "girls' weekend out". I pushed her to discuss her insecurities (even if only briefly) with me. She claimed she was over those fears and understood I'd probably enjoy myself more without her presence. So, I might just venture up and visit Virginia before this year is out.

I almost forgot to address your other comments! If I remotely looked ANYTHING like Alison Hannigan, I'd be in heaven. At 47 years old (48 soon,) six foot two inches tall, and 225 pounds, I never will. If I had been able to pursue t-blockers and hormones in my late teens, I might have had a chance. I like to think that's how I might have looked.

As to depression, it's been with me since my early teens. It's all mine, and my wife's behavior doesn't have a thing to do with it. Now, my mother's behavior (and genetic legacy and possibly her pregnancy) certainly have everything to do with it. My mom and her oldest brother and their mother all suffered from depression and mild dementia. I come by it honestly. I can't fault or blame my wife for anything relating to my depression.

[Anita]

As to depression, it's been with me since my early teens. It's all mine, and my wife's behavior doesn't have a thing to do with it. .

Hi Zippy--
I'm glad that you know that. It saves so much heartache with loved ones.
It took me 'till my late twenties to learn this--that my depression was just there, and it had little to do with what was going on around me. I've learned to deal with it over the years, but it still colors whole days at times. I have mental and spiritual "tools" that I pull out on those days, and I use them to keep me level with it--I feel it, but it doesn't take me down.

Depression for me is very mechanical--it's some chemical imbalance, can happen any time, and the outside world looks darker at those times. But the outside world hasn't changed. I notice the flip side of this mechanical process when I take pain meds or have a glass of wine after dinner--the lift in spirits is purely mechancal, and makes the world look brighter. It's strictly a mental/physical process happening in me. I feel more optimistic, but nothing's really changed except my body chemistry.

So I still like feeling "in the groove" when playing music, or doing my job, but I generally go for the middle way, when it comes to emotion. I got tired of going up and coming down. I am glad it is my choice to do this, though, and that is why it does not feel so good to you--it's not a choice. It's the mechanicalness of the drugs. Good luck in finding the right one.