My daughter found out.

How are you dealing with or handling this aspect of your life?

Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn

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Kimberly Kael
Miss Golden Goddess
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Joined: Sun Apr 01, 2007 6:43 pm
Location: San Francisco Bay Area

Post by Kimberly Kael »

Kerri wrote:I dont think for one minute your wives are jealous.
It is far more likely that their reaction is because they are feeling threatened, not by your feminine charms but because their relationship with the "man" they married is threatened.
Just as likely, it's not so much the relationship that's threatened - but everything it stands for. Their feeling of security could be disrupted because they don't know what to expect next. The need to fit in, to belong in social settings, could be similarly disrupted. Their sense of self, carefully built around the simple bedrock of being a heterosexual woman, is in disarray. Who knows what this will do to their family? Last, but not least it turns out the man they thought they knew is someone else entirely.

It's certainly enough to shake anyone's self-confidence, and the choice of who to blame is obvious. I honestly think it makes sense to cut our wives some slack and work with them to rebuild a sense of stability. To remind them that we're really still the same person and that we want to make them happy, to establish a new balance that meets both our needs.
~ Kimberly

“To escape criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." - Elbert Hubbard
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Carla L
Miss Platinum Goddess
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Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 2:58 pm
Location: Michigan
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Post by Carla L »

Kerri, you have some fine points. Baby step are the best, as the other day we were talking and she told me she saw the printout on how to apply makeup on my printer. (I tried to put it away before she saw it). Anyway, she suggested she put makeup on me and show me some tricks.

This hasn't happened yet, but it will. I think part of the baby steps I've learned is not to pounce on some new item or suggestion from my wife, but to take my time and when the time presents itself, move slowly with it. I suggested we do the makeup some other time when we had a whole evening together and I probably will refrain from talking about it till that day arrives.

I surely won't forget about it though. I think this approach makes my wife more comfortable.
Huggs,

Carla
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