what is ur greatest conflict and how do u cope with it?

[Bernice]

I think my greatest conflict was, and still is, the need for secrecy because of people who would probably not accept me for who I really am. We are, after all, the last minority.

Religion, OTOH, is a very heady subject. My S.I.L. is now a pastor, and she recently married a pastor. My SO is an active leader in "our" church. I almost never attend. Truthfully, it's one of the most reliable times to be Bernice for a bit.

It's not just crossdressing and/or gender identity. There are a host of reasons/excuses. I guess that even if I accept that we have a divine creator, and that our creator wishes for us to behave in certain ways, given the nonsense in the old testament, I don't equate "inspired by God" to be the same as "the word of God".

For me, the biblical view of the "gender binary" has been a factor in driving me away from religion altogether.

Hugs,

Bernice

[Robbin_Sinclair]

Latanya wrote

for me it is my religion!!!! being an orthodox Jew and being tg creates a huge conflict.

I found a lot of answers here http://gendertree.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; and in looking through the site again I found this, and it may may help. http://gendertree.com/Transformed_Before_God.htm" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

For me it was religion and learning to accept myself.

Leeza

Thank you for raising this topic. And a superthankyou for the gendertree link.

I asked this question in another CD site. The moderator moved it to a special religious forum. Two weeks later, the whole religious forum was discontinued and every post was obliterated. It wasn't my post that did it, I'm told, but that made me sad. That's why I re-joined this site.

How do I cope? Buddhist thought works for me...today. There is so much for me to explore. Thanks again, xxrobbin.

[Davita]

Maybe this discussion on religion should be a separate link. In the meantime. I set up a web page ages ago. I'm not sure my links are still current but you can always search on the title of the pages to see where they moved. Also note that I did a simple search including words such as trans and church/synagog for batches to sort through. I was looking for national organizations.

So the link for the links is, http://davita-farley.webs.com/reference/support_2.html. I hope there is one that helps.

BTW, I don't believe in organized religion as it's a man-made institution, but I didn't want to be exclusive in the info I could find. Everyone deserves inner peace however they reach it.

[Ralitsa]

I think Bernice, that your observation of "inspired by God" not meaning the same thing as "Word of God" can be extended to quite a few points. I don't belive that "very religious" is at all equivalent to "very Godly". Insofar as religion is a human institution, I think it's related to God only in the same indirect way that "politics" is related to "people" (keeping in mind that polit is supposed to be greek for people). Both are organizations interested in wielding power, nominally for a higher purpose. (You gals really are impressed how I got religion AND politics both into this at the same time, aren't you )
What God really has to say about any of it nobody really knows, and anyone who claims to know is a liar.
That is harsh, but I do not mean to say that everyone who practices religion is a power hungry fraud, I do know very many that are sincere and honestly trying to do the best they can. And invariably, those are also the ones who "do not judge lest ye be judged."
I'm very saddened to hear of the terrorists who attacked the mall in Kenya, machine gunning women and girls who were not wearing the scarf. I use examples like this to remind me that all the fanatics who tell me I'm going straight to hell are almost certainly not speaking on behalf of God, and it's not so important to me which direction I go as long as it is opposite to the one they are going.

[Anne Bonny]

People at church are stuck in concrete the refuse to open their mind and realize this is not a conflict! Wonder how the Ethiopian Eunuch was dressed?? yet he was accepted. People are obviously born intersex, Gay, and with mixed gender or opposite gender. How we see ourselves or feel is not obscene, we either feel female or male. Hence God made me so Obviously God made me like this for a reason. Religion is no longer my greatest conflict.


My conflict is snapping my head, feeling fearful someone may drive by and see me inside my own home in a dress! I fear walking out of the house because of my gender presentation when I am feeling female. That conflict is societal - peer pressure to conform to an obsolete and erroneous social rule that tries to pidgeon hole us and uses peer pressure scorn, physical attacks, and cutting myths about what and who we are. we are no different than other women!!!!!

[Robbin_Sinclair]

....... it's not so important to me which direction I go as long as it is opposite to the one they are going.

That comment gave me a smile. Thanks.

What I new take from religion is a religious philosophy that helps me understand those murderers in the shopping mall. While I want to love all people, I certainly cannot love them, can I? Yes my hell would be better than their heaven. What I feel that I have learned is to try comprehend their suffering. What kind of sad life that they must have felt to drive them to these delusional acts. This is not condoning their acts.

"Religion", if you want to call Buddhism (or AA/NA) philosophy a religion, has brought me a sense of understanding that life is not generically happy. It started with me crying and it will end with me dying. Still, if I do what I can to make joy in my life, that will be good. It starts by making others smile.

As you have done.

[Mike P.]

Hello ladies, and it is so good to be back. I've been so busy getting my apartment ready for my new roommates, plus work, it's been hectic. I lost the name of this forum, as I cancelled my previous email account, so I couldn't find this wonderful place, but so glad I did. Lately I've been feeling a little down, and think it's because I don't have as many people to talk to about my crossdressing, even though my roommate are lesbians, and know about it, but they have their own issues. My greatest conflict was coming to terms with accepting that I am a crossdresser, but now that I have accepted it, like other ladies here, its not being able to express my self feminine other than in my apartment. I paint my toe nails, and wear panties sometimes, but that doesn't seem to be enough. I also listen to feminization videos online, which some are very positive, but what good is encouraging me to be more feminine, if I'm not doing so outside? I'm not as concerned about my co-workers as I am about how people would react seeing me in the street, as I take public transportation sometimes. The other issue is how I would cope with men if they say something, because I'm still attracted to women, so maybe I'm hoping that I might have a better chance of being noticed by women if I dress up, but mainly it's because I really enjoy the feeling of looking feminine. Hi again everyone, and sorry for the long post. Have a great day!

[Wendae]

What Davita and Carol Ann said. As to religion the Catholic church is not understanding altho maybe the new Pope will give us some slack.

[Ralitsa]

While I want to love all people, I certainly cannot love them, can I?

But actually the Catholic Church has, I think, a useful philosophy toward this problem. Which is, that in this situation love means how you treat them and not how you feel about them. It would be great if Catholics actually were to follow that.............
The problem with them, and all religions, is that they are not nearly so good at following their own precepts as they are trying to make everyone else do it. It is frustrating to me to see that the religious fanatics are the worst violators of the principles they advocate, but the world has been like that since the beginning of time.
Now lest I have offended someone who is Catholic, let me say that I support probably all of the churches doctrines, though not necessarily their traditions and customs. Unfortunately, most people (including Catholics) don't know the difference.

[Noeleena]

Hi,

Conflict.To explain it will open two or three details,

first is because im different nether male or female in the true context of am i a male or female.

I am female just was not born fully as a normal female , any way thats not the issue, because there are differences with in & out side my body the main one is not looking like a normal female in how she should look yet this can be debated because not all female's look as percived as many people think we should, so it comes down to do i look like a female.

From age 10 i never liked how i looked, not quite sure why. though it became more noted as i was growing up. my body was okay in most respects as far as shape size weight was concerned just i lacked feminine facial features, even today i dont like or think i look female enough so yes i hated it most of my life,

I work with many people with selfesteem self worth and confidence issues, women only as i understand what we go through, the lack's we have in all aspects of our life's, so yes this one works me over time and time again,

I have talked about this with my women friends and they say theres no issue or issues, and yes im told we = women dont all come with the beauty detail that defines us as, okay for the guys sexy looking females, what gets me is because im in front of people all the time talked to large groups of people and more as a public relastions person. doing this is neat i really enjoy being there , getting up to do my part,

is i go through i know of others who could do so much better and look better... and ...and....no, this is for me to do, yes i struggle with it. is there no one who could do this instead of me........please take my place. . sorry nope your the one..... oh heck...

And i get my pic taken , oh please dont show me i look so out of place,
the other side of this is i have the confidence i know i can do this with out a problem well i do, thats my conflict, and all of my life from age 10. dont worry iv been in front of many 1000's of people, there you go it still effects me.

How do i cope, get up do my part and enjoy what i do, and no i dont get butterflys ether,

Concerning crossdressing,

simple for me it makes no difference what i wear male or female clothes i cant crossdress, no matter what i wear. so i have the advantage, in being able to ,

Deut is not talking about women wearing of male clothes or males wearing of female clothes,

It has to do with cowards of the men trying to get out of battle to escape haveing to defend thier camp so to do that the term we would use was hiding behind thier mothers aprones, or under thier skirts or dress,

The women who were of child bearing age were told not to put on the mens armour as going into battle to fight as they would be killed outright . one they could not lift the amour where not trained to fight let alone use the heavy swords, or other fighting weapons.

as far as it goes it concerned the men in keeping safe the camp & women and children,

when its translated correctly the true meaning is then given, some goes for all of the writen history,

plus we need to keep in mind what was happening at that time as well. not superinpose western thinking in translation , so something to think about, take or leave it,

Now at our Renaissance camp we have fighters very strong men who have trained can lift the heavy gear, helmets and so on , now get this , im a female who is very strong had to for my work ,

Well i picked up some gear, ooops no way, so had i worn all the gear this guy does and fight, okay you get the idear, theres just no way i could do it,

...noeleena...