A recent post by Kristi started me thinking, and that's dangerous!
Kristi was talking about resisting the friendship of others because of her feelings. I have also done the same many times. Then, I started thinking about those other people. If five percent of males like to wear woman's clothes, then one in every twenty who want to be your friend probably has the same feelings you do. You don't know about his and he doesn't know about yours. Wouldn't it be nice if there were some way to break down this barrier?
I live in an area where such things would probably not be tolerated so no one I know would think of opening their feelings to another unless they knew the other would be sympathetic. Has anyone faced this already and come up with a solution? What is the answer? Perhaps, a secret handshake??? I'm sure someone could come up with another better suggestion than that. Any suggestions?
"The early bird catches the worm...But... It's the second mouse that gets the cheese"
I think that isn't a bad idea at all. It could get some folks thinking about what we could actually do too (another idea, I mean). I can't figure out anything.
One thing is for sure. If we do think of something then it could spread through the internet to our community like a wild internet fire. The con would be other's may get wind of it, but I'd doubt it would be that many people.
I think a handshake is a good idea, no movement, just something that happens on the initial handshake?
Hi Beauty,
Thanks for the nice comments. One thing about it spreading outside our community, those that used it might have to prove it. Even if they gave to the pressure and did put on some female clothes, they might find they like it! This could be a way to grow our community. Oh oh, there I go thinking again!
"The early bird catches the worm...But... It's the second mouse that gets the cheese"
I too have secretly wondered if friend X or Y or Z might like dressing just like I do! However, I've haven't arrived at any real good solution to find out. I've thought of a symbol (like rainbow for gays), something that isn't to risky or overt but would be recogizeable to us that know what it means.
A few years ago there was a company (I don't remember which one--I think it was a TV fiction publishing house) that produced and distributed a small symbol, available either as a lapel pin or as a windshield or bumper sticker. The stylized, italicized black letters "TV" were printed on a white background in the shape of a circle. Ostensibly, the aim was to give crossdressers the ability to recognize each other. I imagine that, should anyone obviously not in the know were to have asked, you could always have replied that you're a big fan of boob tube culture. I've never seen anyone sporting such a symbol and I don't know what became of the idea. How about this for a secret handshake? You shake hands while extending your index finger along the inner wrist of your newly met friend or acquaintance. No rubbing. No wiggling. No caressing. Just extending. No? Oh well, it was just a thought!
A fellow performer at Trannyshack came up with "the drag flag," which was two crossed five-inch heels against a purple background. It was kinda neat, but you couldn't tell exactly what the heels were supposed to be, on first glance. I had little bumper stickies with it, but didn't feel compelled to start plastering them all over.
A gal on the TG forum came up with a subtle way of pulling on the ear, I seem to remember. It was good. I wish I could credit her, but I can't get on over there anymore--my password doesn't work, and my emails to the "forgot password?" link come back on the mailer-daemon. That's more of a transitioning person's site--anyone ever go there?
I have wanted a t-shirt I could wear around, and someone said a butterfly was one of our symbols. I'm not quite ready to go around with a butterfly. I know--I'll wear a shirt with a big picture of a tube of MAC cover-up! Or a jar of Dermacolor, or Dermablend! That'll bring the CDs out of the woodwork, and everybody else will just scratch their heads.
A
This is something we have discussed here at length on and off over the years but a suitable sign or lapel pin etc acceptable to all has never been agreed on.
With badges or lapel pins they fall down because we are not always dressed suitably to wear one, it just isn't acceptable always to wear a pin or badge with a T shirt or a sports shirt etc.
As for a physical sign, many variations have been suggested over the years, such as applying pressure with the thumb then quickly followed by pressure from the little finger, when shaking hands etc, also pulling the left ear lobe with the index and middle finger held together, but nothing ever seems to come of it all. I agree that a recognisable indication of some sort would be a great thing for our community all over the world, maybe a collective effort could unearth something this time.
Somebody mentioned recently about seeing a person who they were unsure of as to whther they were female or one of us dressed. What I have found works good in these circumstances is I put myself in a position where I need to get past the person or something similar and I say, "Excuse me sister", with a smile on my face, so that if it is a female she doesn't take offence and if it's one of us and the person doesn't wish to engage in conversation, then no harm done, if they do then we can engage in conversation and go from there.
It would be nice to hit on something which we could all instantly recognise each other by, but of course, with so many of us world wide, it would get out publicly sooner or later, as we all know, we don't always know who we are actually talking to online around the world.
Kind Regards to all.
Sally.
Watch nature, because it’s our greatest teacher, it moves and flows and moves on again. We can never be free until we disengage, so allow life to flow as you find it. The way it is, is the way it is.
I have discovered a few friends and acquaintances who I KNEW were closet CDs even after they saw me in public! Yet they refused to even discuss the subject with me in private.
I figured that if they weren't comfortable addressing it with a CD then who?
But I didn't want to press the issue and make them more uncomfortable...
As for the secret handshake, I like that idea. We should have a secret handshake and maybe a password!
Wow, has this grown to some really neat and crazy ideas. It was good for a laugh or two and I sure do appreciate all the comments that have been made.
Sally mentioned a lapel pin. A few years ago (or was it many years ago, it's hard to remember!), there was a movement to wear one's initials on a pin on the collar of your shirt. This seems to have died down some but it still could be used to signify your feelings and it could be worn on almost any type of shirt. Just another idea! Of course, it would have to be publicized and agreed upon among all of us before it means something.
Maybe one day. Thanks again for the ideas.
"The early bird catches the worm...But... It's the second mouse that gets the cheese"
I think for some one like me a hand shake or something that doesn't have to be worn would be GREAT! After all the pins, and other items will eventually be discovered and then the anonymity would be gone. Le me know when you figure it out. I would love to be able to meet someone and know so I could strike up cool conversations.
I'm sure someone could come up with another better suggestion than that. Any suggestions?
