i guess the toughtest kind of HATE to deal with...

[Lorna]

...would be the HATE coming from your own blood family.

I want you all to stop & think about this one for a minute.

If your own mother told you over the phone that you were nothing but a FREAK & a DISGRACE & that you were not welcome for Thanksgiving... how would that make you feel? Not too good I reckon.

First off - many of you have read my angry rants here way back when I was last posting here 4-5 years ago... i now realize that i was such a B**** back then was because I inherited the B**** genes from my mother.

Picture me on a bad day x 100! That's my racist homophobic mother.

And yes Mom your precious 'Theo Huxtable' is now living as Rupaul & not only rolls with but also DATES anyone she pleases, race totally IRRELEVANT!! DEAL WITH IT, YOU SPITEFUL WOMAN!!!

UGH. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.

I called her just to make Thanksgiving plans & for whatever reason she starts yelling at me into the phone - talking trash about how I'm an "embarrasment" to the family.

Well FORGET THAT. I don't need to go visit the old battleaxe for Thanksgiving.

No Thanksgiving Day family B.S. plans for me!! GOOD.

[Lorna]

My bad, folks... prob solved.

I just got off the phone with my lovely BFF & it seems that she has no family plans either!

So I'm going over to her place & I am going to whup up a beautiful Thanksgiving feast for ourselves & inviting a couple of friends over! A nice intimate little Turkey-day feast for those of us who have been "rejected by so-called family"...

[Jeannie]

Hi Gorgeous!
There is 10 percent of the population that never get it. Don't feel bad Lorna. It's not you,it's them. Enjoy who you are and have a ball on Thanksgiving. Let those other turkeys eat cake! Hugs Beautiful!

Love
Auntie Jeannie

[Michelle Miller]

Any siblings? If not, just do what I do, when I get the "I'm right and you're wrong" song and dance from my mother.

Just tell her that regardless of how she feels about you, you're the one that's going to be looking after her in her twilight years. Ask her how she feels about "bare cinderblock walls" in her nursing home.

Lorna, girl, just make the best of it with your BFF.

[DonnaT]

Have an enjoyable Thanksgiving with friends, those whom you can be thankful for having.

[Carolynn]

Hi Lorna. I know a lot about what you are experiencing. Almost everyone I know who transtions would be very familiar with your lament. Losing your family is so common as to be a trueism.

My mother is in a nursing home, 88 years old, blind, and partially deaf, and has dementia. She has been there for three years now. I transitioned after she had to go to the nursing home, and since then I have not been invited to participate with my sister's family in any holidays, where I was always included before. If I see any of them, it's my mother's room at the nursing home when we accidently overlap for visits. They leave quickly in such a circumstance as though I am going to contaminate them, using the most thin of hasty excuses, which my blind mother does not miss.

I will spend part of Thanksgiving with friends who are more supportive and accepting than my remaining family, and make a visit to my mother. Christmas Eve will be the same. But Christmas day will be spent working to make part of the dinner for the community dinner at the local highschool.

In years past I have volunteered at the community Thanksgiving feeds for the homeless and poor, cooking, serving and cleaning up. A lot of work but the fellowship with other women and a few men making a difference make the holiday more real. I will still go and help clean up for a few hours, but I will have dinner with my friends who are also alone.

Christmas last year was a real blast, as I was Mrs. Claus (in a stretchy red satin dress with white fake fur trim -- It just happened to fit!!! ) handing out gifts to excited little kids, and older people who had no one. It was particularly nice to see the elderly smile, with sparkling eyes, and each would say, no matter what the gift and that there was no name on it, "Oh, that's just what I have been wishing for!" I guess when you have little, almost anything qualifies as just what you have been wishing for, huh.

I have plans to do that again for Christmas. I care nothing for the religious overtones, but helping to make at least a few days better for others is worth the work.

[Erin L]

Beautiful, Carolynn. Funny how the best answer is always doing for others.

Lorna, kick the dust of their village from your sandals and don't look back. Make a lovely holiday with your friends and be thankful they are there.

[Virginia]

Just like our "gift" we are all not alone in this! I don't think my daughter and her husband and my two grandchildren want me around. One, because of my relationship with our very own SL; two, they have never seen Virginia, but I have told her that I am transgendered and she has trouble accepting the fact that her father, a world champion power lifter, is transgendered. I was told by her husband that he had a concern about my being around my own grandchildren so I asked him who drew the line between being transgendered and his being an institutionalize drug addict?

My son, bless his heart, was put up to calling the cops on me the day of my divorce. He is not smart enough to come up with that little gem on his own. Someone had to put him up to it. He told me he had called the cops and I asked him why and he stammered but said they would not come unless I "got violent." He said he told them "they" he and his mother were afraid, ' cause I was a pretty big guy! Plus he just flat out lied to the judge when he testified against me at the divorce hearing. Again, someone put him up to it as he is not the smartest kid! Needless to say we do not have any contact with each other any longer. I am sure that my ex and/or my son told his wife's family as well. I just all broken up over it as you can tell!

Anyway, I have someone I love very much to spend Turkey Day with and we will enjoy each other's company like we have and beyond that, who cares!

Love you all,

Virginia

[Anita]

Lorna, good deal! You made that work out. My TG girlfriend is also not welcome in some family home any more, and it's strained at her parents.
I have a 5-year tradition of gathering with people that I don't see the rest of the year, but do enjoy Thanksgiving with. So my gal will go there with me, and then we'll just enjoy the evening together.

Sorry to hear that your mother is reacting to you in such a manner.

[Absaroka]

Lorna I'm sorry your mother is not able to accept you. It's really a shame and a loss for her.

I've never had to deal with stuff about transitioning but there have been other issues in my birth family, and I was very greatful for the friends I had during the times when my family was best avoided. Have fun with your friend this Thanksgiving.

Eventually things changed with my parents and by time they died we were on good terms again. But who knows what will happen........

Absaroka

[Jennifer M]

This thread stirs up a lot of feelings in me.My family is not as bad as others,and I truly sympathize with those who have been rejected.My family doesnt exclude me from anything but they do totally ignore me when I am around.Funny thing is they get mad if I dont show up.No one in my family has ever seen me as Jennifer and its not talked about.I dont hate them for being the way they are,I dont understand it but I do accept it.Wish they could do the same for me.

[Lorna]

Thanks girls!! I am SO looking forward to it.

In fact this year I will be preparing my first Thanksgiving turkey!!

[Absaroka]

I remember the first Tday I cooked for. I was alone and figured I could never eat a whole turkey so I made a chicken on the grounds that it was sort of like a baby turkey

Enjoy

Absaroka

[Paige]

You look as lovely as ever. I haven't been here since you left. I stopped in the other day for the first time in a long time, then tonight and I find posts from you. Nice to see you are still around. Paige

[MsJoann]

A couple months ago, I came out to my sister. She knew something was "different" about me. She want's no part of seeing me dressed, but for some strange reason, she's now in contact with me more than ever.