Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hi All,

I don’t usually bare my soul here as some of my more courageous sisters do. However, I have a personal story to relate that might be of interest - so here goes.

Recently, my beloved SO (Paula) has had back problems and may be facing surgery. I have been helping her as much as I can, running errands and such. We live about 10 minutes apart, and usually have dinner together. Lately we have been dining in more - mostly at her place. The food has been both take-out and home cooked - both done by me. I have discovered that in kitchen chores, sometimes I am cool and organized, but at times nervous, jumpy and impatient. These two moods are distinctly correlated with how I am dressed: en femme or en drab. Often, especially on weekends, I am dressed en femme, but sometimes (due to external social situations) I am in drab. Paula has noticed this and commented on my being more companionable when dressed. Although she has often said that she loves me no matter how I happen to be dressed, I think she is beginning to prefer the femme character. Needless to say, I am delighted.

Thus to all female SO’s and spouses out there, be not only patient with your crossdressing companion, but appreciate him.(as her).

Hugs,

Lydia

Hi Lydia--
It's a good reminder. I know that some of our members have said that they are the same person, dressed or no. I'm one of those who do change, dressed enfemme. It's good to hear that in this case, her preference aligns with yours. Good luck with Paula's back problems.

Lydia, first I wish Paula well in her recovery from her back problems.

My wife has said similar about my CDing. That I am a calmer and easier to get along with person if I get my CDing time. Several times she has told me that I need to get some time dresses. Other times she just asks if I need some time dressed.

Again good luck to Paula.

kim

May I also add that I hope your Paulas' back problems can be healed without having to have surgery. I know how painful and debiliating a back problem can be. I've thrown out my back a few times in my lifetime and I know when that happens you can't do anything without being in agony.

With regards to your personality changing when you are dressed, I too have been told that I am a different person when enfemme as compared to when in drab. In fact they tell me they like me better as CharLee than my male counterpart because I am more easy going and gentle when I am enfemme. I know this is true because I can see it myself, so don't fret over it honey.

Here's hoping all works out well with Paula.

Hi ladies,

I have always known that I am a much more tollerant person when dressed , I am normally on a much shorter fuse in Male mode.

Interestingly , the further I am away from my "Fem" persona , the more I attract these nasty individuals. I have a defined hatred of bullies , they seem to only attempt an attack when Merinda is packed away out of service.

Thanks for sharing that with us Lydia, I sincerely hope Paula recovers quickly from her back problem. I've been on the giving and receiving end of similar circumstances and it's no easy task, that's for sure.

As much as I'd like to say I'm one and the same person dressed or not, there are definite differences in my personality. My SO has noticed and so stated.

It's good to hear that Paula finds you "more companionable" en femme. There's solace in that. Let's face it, I'm sure there are some out there (not on this board, of course!) who are not quite so companionable when dressed.
My guess is, after she told you, you were on cloud 9 all day! (I know I would be!)

Hope you stay on cloud nine all week!
Hugs,
Kyra

Guess what, if you have not already thought of it! You can add one more set of feminine accoutrement's to your wardrobe!!!! Think of all the different nurse's garbs you can now wear. Mini's, slacks, head pieces, a short apron, maybe even a stethoscope around your neck!!! Ain't it great?!!

But seriously, (well, the nurse's uniforms are serious) but we all want only the best for Paula and you tell her that all the girls in your sorority hope she recovers quickly and that she enjoys the cute nurse that takes care of her!!!!

Love ya,

Virginia

Hi Virginia

Nurse's uniforms are dull. But I thought of the classic French maid costume, and Paula thought it would be cute. I have serious doubts as to how it would look on me. My conservative skirt & blouse combo seems to be adequate, so far. Besides, my feet don't let me wear heels, and no French maid would be caught dead without at least 3" heels.

Love and Hugs,

Lydia

Lydia, I'm sorry to hear about your SO, and that is so kind of you to help your SO along.

I am not any different in any of the ways that I am dressed. I am still lazy, messy, tired and angry quite a lot. So according to what I read on cd forums I am not very stereotypical female,,, heck, I ain't even stereotypical gay either.

Amelie, you are not stereotypically anything. You are Amelie, the unique.

BTW, Paula (SO) will have minimally invasive surgery, with fast recovery. Our travel plans may proceed.

Hugs,

Lydia

Lydia,

I am so thrilled to have you share such a personal story with us. While I would say I am the same person, I have noticed that I do not come off as feminine as I am, when my boys are around me. It's not that I am embarrassed as much as I don't want to make them uncomfortable. They have been tremendously supportive and it's a small price to pay to make them more comfortable.

But when it's just me and Raven, I can truly be myself. She understands and also is supportive. It's a minefield out there and we just have to navigate it the best we can.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Lydia
Thanks for sharing that and glad to hear its not all too terrible. Get that maid's dress if she thinks it will be fun (believe me it is). Sometimes I feel like a nurse here myself with different folk's ailments....but a decent nurse dress is hard to find. I find myself in a different frame of mind when dressed, much more docile and loving. Now, I'm not a meany in guy mode, but it just seems being Dee is more natural and satisfying. Perhaps if a lot of world leaders would spend some time with their feminine side we would have a better world. Weird thought, but what the heck. So good luck to you with all this (lord knows I'm going through it also)...and keep the faith!!!!
Hugs
DeeDee

I always think of myself as being sweeter when en femme. But one day a while back, I was working from home and completely dressed en femme. I had a conference call in which we were discussing a very contentious issue with our auditors, and even though I knew I had ample support for my position, I became very agitated and felt very emotional when I sensed things weren't going my way.

Just like a girl!

I don't know because I've never been anything but a CDr. I'd have to become a man (yeah like that's gonna happen!) and see if I was any different.

I have been told by friends that I am a lot more relaxed and fun to be with when I am Leeza. All the more reason to dress.

Leeza