Crossdressers-Haven.com

It's an old story for me, but ever true. I work like mad all week, doing a job I love, but always with an eye on the upcoming weekend when I'll again be able to become the woman I so wish I was born.

I've accepted my life and am a pretty happy single guy/girl, but sometimes, like now, the thought of removing my wonderful clothes, pulling off my so firmly attached breast forms (which amazingly become a part of me) and washing all else away seems more than I can bear. I'm only really myself, happy, when so adorned... But forever on these weekends, the clock is always ticking, with Monday morning the deal breaker, when all fades away and I'm back within that precarious male persona of mine that no one seems to know is such a facade.

Wondering how many of you have the Monday blues too, having to let go for the coming week...

Robyn
FYI: Coming out is not a possibility for me, I work with kids and it would be, sadly, a career buster. The bitch of it all is, I love my job and can't imagine doing anything else... Christ! How did I get here???

I and most of our sisters can certainly identify with the changing back aspect of our existence.

All I can say is you have your week-ends with evidently, no one looking over your shoulder so you have it better than some of the others here.

I don't know that any of us can offer much of an option short of finding another job which really does not seem to be an option, so just relish the time that Robyn has.

Virginia

Thanks, Virginia. I do know I've it bit better than many, in that I'm not married and certainly do have these wonderful weekends to be femme. Just whining about this girl's eventual Monday fall. So hate that coming gloom, but do need to not let it interfere with the time I have. And the time I have is, good lord... glorious!

Robyn

Hi Robyn--
The Monday blues have hit me at various times, one time very acute. I had been a contestant in a pageant on Sunday night for Miss Trannyshack, which was a big deal--the top drag show in San Francisco at the time. The next day at work was torture for me--I had to go off to a remote part of the job site and cry my eyes out. The glamour and intensity of that experience just fed into all my Cinderella fantasies.

That was about a year into my journey--since then, I haven't experienced it so badly. I do know that I don't care to dress in the morning, say, and then "change back" for an evening appointment. That gets to me--once I'm in femme mode, I want to stay there, until the end of the evening.

There's no getting around this, I suppose. I'm sure you dress at times during the week, but it's not the same as getting unbroken time on the weekend.

Robyn, You are really lucky to have a job you love. If you have to change on monday, as I'm sure most of the rest of us do, as well, at least you have that. I have worked for nearly twenty years at a company that has now been acquired by a multinational. Twenty years should seem like a career job , but really, to me it's nothing but a paycheck. The stress is really the most interesting part of the job, and I don't really like, or trust my supervisor all that much. Try taking your skirt off for that on monday morning.

Hi all,

Robyn,

Singing the Monday Mornin' Blues, eh? Yep. Been there, done that. The transformation back to malehood can be such a drag; after all, as you say, being a dude is, for many of us, where we put on the real facade.

As for work, I, too, have a job I love. But the question has occasionally crossed my mind as to whether I could more easily tolerate having my career busted by presenting en femme or having my spirit crushed by refraining from doing so. In the end, the secret, for me, was to find a balance; just letting my employer and colleagues know this about me has helped to relieve some pressure. Yes, they've seen photos of me en femme and one of my colleagues (also now a good friend) even once spent an evening with me out on the town (and she loved it). My boss just thinks I'm weird or crazy (or both) but that's okay as he keeps telling us that you have to be weird or crazy (or both) to want to do the kind of work we do and to be good at it, too. The only hitch: he says there will be no presenting en femme (or even suggesting I'm a crossdresser) to our clientele. Our clients have enough trouble as it is in trying to deal with a society that considers them "abnormal" (he says) that it just wouldn't do for me to go and muddle their quest for "normality" by showing them just how "abnormal" a "normal" person such as myself can also be. Of course, he and I differ on this last point but, hey, he's the boss.

All I can say, Robyn, is, try to enjoy what time you do have with your femme self to its fullest. Worry about Monday when Monday actually comes. Don't let that worry taint your Saturday and Sunday. The problem with the TGIF mentality is that it often goes hand in hand with the CICBAWIAGA mentality ("Crap! I Can't Believe Another Weekend Is Almost Gone Already"). Thinking about Sunday night (or Monday morning) on a beautiful "femmed up" and "glammed up" Saturday afternoon only serves to ruin your pleasure. Make that pleasure last all the way to Monday morning. Including Friday night, you have more than fifty hours out of your week during which you can enjoy the company of your femme self. Use those fifty hours fully, without overly worrying about those hours you have to put your femme self away ("overly" being the operative word, here).

Good luck, Robyn. Have fun.

Love,
CJ

CJ wrote:

In the end, the secret, for me, was to find a balance; just letting my employer and colleagues know this about me has helped to relieve some pressure.

I'm glad CJ brought this up. I thought of saying it in my post, but your situation seems to be one where you can't bring it up, so I just buttoned my lip. But it does help, if it's at all possible. My girlself's appearance goes on the shelf when I'm at work, yes, but she's still "there" because my business partner and my workers all know about her. And I hand out my CD to my customers at the end of the job, and there's the girl on the back cover. Inappropriate? It might be, but at 58, I want to combine as many of my "worlds" as I can.

Working with kids is such a delicate situation. I wish you the best in continuing on your path.

Well... It's Monday morning. Off to the salt mine.....

Well I understand your Monday blues. But for me it was not so much the changing back from femme time. Just more I needed to go to work. Even when it was a good job I liked.

One good thing with my current job is I work Tuesday-Saturday. So often like today I get some femme time in. I have also been using Monday as my errand day going to town. I try to do any needed male mode errands first and then change to femme mode for the rest of the day. I usually try to finish male mode errands asap. But just getting femme time even doing male errands is enjoyable for me.

kim
joe in a skirt

sings
" I owe, I owe...its off to work I go"
sigh, can't hit the lottery
DeeDee

Robyn, the thought occurs to me that you love working with kids - normally a feminine role in our society - so even though you have to drab down on Monday, think of it as exchanging Robyn's wardrobe for the work Robyn does so well. Also, you might want to underdress a little just to keep some femme feeling. I've recently started doing this, and I must say, having a pair of pink nylon bikini panties on under my suit really does make the workday a little nicer.

Robyn said...

But forever on these weekends, the clock is always ticking, with Monday morning the deal breaker, when all fades away

Yes, we've all been there and the intensity of those Monday morning blues can be difficult to come down from. However, as you said, the clock is always ticking so by the same token, that means your Robyn time is always getting closer. Perhaps seeing this as the "glass being half full instead of half empty" might make things seem a teeny bit better.

Stephanie

I used to have to change over on Monday morning too. I coped by considering the working clothes as a uniform, like working at Wendy's or McFarkles or something. And then look forward to getting into "something more comfortable " when I got home.

Now I look forward to getting home and taking my bra off and into something soft and comfy unless I am going out, unlike before. I guess it's all in what you get used to.

Carolynn

So wonderful that so many could both relate and understand. Again, thank you all. I know it all is so much a matter of attitude and perspective, and that I certainly have the weekends, nearly anything a girl could want, and a job I love. I mustn't dwell on the bad, the forever, weekly downgrade into male drab is just part of the deal. (And Erin, I do dress underneath, with my toe nails forever Revlon Red which helps to keep me balanced inside. You're so right!)

There are no easy answers to this life of ours, but need to be happy that at least I'm no longer in denial and have fully accepted myself. Those insane days of purging and doubt now long behind me. The Monday blues will never be behind me, but the Friday, Saturday, Sunday (and holidays too) euphoria is quite real and where I need to focus, where I need to forever be grateful.

Robyn

How's this for Monday Morning Blues: I arrived at work this morning and Everyone looked at me and said "What are you doing here? " I had requested and been approved for a vacation day, but had forgotten about it!