Crossdressers-Haven.com

I have thought about this post for a couple of years now and got another comment a week back so that brought it to the for front in my memory. I guess I want to do this post not to scare people off but to make them ready for the the comments. As being ready IMHO will make it easier for you to deal with them.

First a bit of background. I come from a fairly large extended family based in farming. And many work in construction, work on cars and other very manly jobs. The men are hard working, manly men. I grew up working hard, helping on the farm, building and doing construction, and many manly things and I continue enjoy doing them today. Even today I am known for the work and remodeling I have done on our house and the help I have given others when needed. And in my family guys do not wear earrings. You hear comments like you are gay, some girly guy, or some one will grab it and rip it out, but have yet to see it done.

So for me getting my ears pierced was quite the mental challenge for me and in the end it was my wife that pushed it. It has now been 3-4 years they have been pierced. My dad did not say a thing to me but read my mom the riot act who passed the information on to me. My brother said " Why the beep beep, bleepy, bleepily bleep, bleeeeepy, pleep, bleep, ................................... did you do that. And I have had many similar comments from family and from friends with less bleeps.

The first comment I got like that I was not ready for and kind of stumbled through. But after that I did a self evaluation and realized it did not matter to them why I did it. And more important was it was ok that I did it. So my attitude when confronted it that having pierced ears was no big deal to them.

My standard comments have been to just look them in the eye and say "So", "Why not", "Because I wanted to", a few "Mid-life crisses" and other miscellaneous answers. And there have been no farther comments.

IMHO having pierced ears is the same as CDing and many other things in life. If you are truly comfortable with what you are doing and feel there is nothing wrong with what you are doing. Then other people will sense and feel this in your interactions and attitude and it will be where their comfort level starts.

I also have family and friends in law enforcement. The one thing I have learned from them that has helped me a lot with my CDing has been that people that are doing things that are wrong act nervous and have the body language that gives them away. Also there is a difference between being just nervous, and a nervous because you are doing something wrong.

So my mental and outward attitude is my pierced ears and my cding is not wrong. Yes I may be nervous at times when I am out CDing or looking at ear rings in a store while in male mode, but there is nothing wrong with what I am doing.

I would like to hear others thoughts, comments, and what they do when confronted about their pierced ears.

kim
joe in a skirt

Joe;

I also want my ears pierced, but can't yet see myself with earrings. Nothing holding me back except myself. Seems to be about the Norm for Guys nowdays anway.

Still I wonder what my Dad would say when I visit?

Back when I only had one set of piercings and wore silver one inch crosses on hooks with opal centers, I got alot of nice comments from women that admired them. The same with small dangly gold crosses. No snide comments or remarks. Now I have three sets and am wearing gold 1/2 inch hoops. Top blue topaz, middle ruby, and bottom emeralds. Not a peep yet. I am in drab....sigh!
Act natural and confident.

I've had mine pierced now for almost 5 years..Had a couple of comments but nothing anything negative. I don't about other parts of the US or Canada but here in Vancouver it's nothing out of the ordinary to see guys with their ears pierced..saw a biker dude in the pub a couple of days ago ..all tattooed and wearing huge hoops!

My response to the first comment from a guy at work was, "Because I like them."

My comment to a friend I grew up with was, "Pretty aren't they!?"

Two questions why in about 5 years is pretty good evidence no one really cares, or aren't the typr to question why.

I have my rebellious, road sign stealing, skateboarding youth to thank for the extra holes in my ears.

I did my own earring piercings a little over 4 1/2 years ago and the only two people who ever commented were (1) my ex-wife about a month after I'd done it ("What?! You've pierced your ears?") and my current wife, round the time we'd been married a year ("Have your holes closed up?").

While living alone for 3 years and when always presenting en femme in public,I never had any kind of comment other than "How pretty" or "Where'd you get them?" But in drab mode I've never worn any in public, except a small pair of diamond studs.

I think you're absolutely right, Kim, that how you feel about your own pierced ears makes the single biggest difference in how people react to them. If you're comfortable with them then you'll get relatively few comments.

There are exceptions. Firstly, jerks will be jerks no matter what the circumstances and they're best ignored unless you have to put up with them (for work, etc.) and then it's best to have a pat answer: "because I felt like it" is good enough for most purposes. Secondly, family and friends may comment because they feel comfortable around you and want you to know they noticed.

Lastly, the more ostentatious the actual earrings are the more likely you are to get a highly polarized (positive or negative) response. Simple studs and small hoops are unlikely to cause comment. Anything really eye catching is a different story. it's definitely best to get some experience with something subtle before you start raising eyebrows with something really striking!

Thanks for all the comments. Great to hear others experiences are similar. I should also note that one does not have to do anything within my immediate or extended family but show up at a family gathering to get a hard time. I would not say we are red necks, but most in the family are fairly out going and say what is on their minds. And anyone that brings a new BF or GF is automatically a target. My brother had a rat tail a few years an caught lots of flack for that especially the first year. As for what ear rings I usually wear, I stick to small hoops or studs. Lately I have been wearing the small diamond studs my wife got for me even before I got them pierced.

kim
joe in a skirt

Earrings may be removed
Longhair can be cut
Wigs can be removed
Clothing can be changed
Haircolour can be changed

All of the above can be changed as per your desire

Tattoo's can only be "BURNT OFF" with a laser , provided they're not too large in which case they are there to stay FOR LIFE.

So true Merinda. Along with who we are can not be changed, but can be visibly masked to fit our needs.

I wish I had my ears pierced. When I started dressing many years ago, pirced ears on men were few and far between.

Nowadays it is so common that I look in envey at the guys that can wear any earings they chose while I have stay with clip-ons.

I feel that now I am too old to have mine pierced and that if I did the questions I would get from my family might be too revealing.

I got my third set of piercings in May. I'm 68. Not a peep from my kids or relatives. Go for it Dottie!

I've had my ears for over 30 years and my nipples done for over 20. I also have a tatt. I had all this done, not for my crossdressing, but for the rock and roll image I was trying to project. Plus I just liked the look, still do, even at 59 years old.

Hi, I have had my pierced,for a few years and I love them. Had them professional pieced, which is probably is a non event (zero pain) , just keep twisting the studs and clean them with and antiseptic daily over the few weeks, and leave the posts stud in place for 6 months to give actual holes the heal completely.