Crossdressers-Haven.com

Reading Penni's post, I started to wonder, where do the wonderful people we know here disappear to? Then it dawned on me that I hadn't posted in awhile (more of that later). Some girls do a "butterfly" thing and then burn out...back to the "comfort zone". Others sadly get ill and just can't stay in touch, which brings up numerous points. Who really cares about us online...what happens to your girl stuff when you pass...do you want your survivors to find out this way? (like you would care at that point). Sharing with others is very tough for us, but I would like to let certain people know my status...and fortunatley I do have an SO that cares, and family members that know.
So, I have been bad by not posting here, but I'm ok...dealing with caregiver issues and two 20% pay cuts. I have been getting out at least once a week and have gone to a few T support thingies. Its so important to know theres a lot of us out there that care, closeted or not. I just miss so many old, good friends.
Heck, even bought new hair last week..the heck with the budget
Hugs all
DeeDee

Dee'ster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So glad you're hanging in there. Hope all goes well. You're a sweet, caring and derserving person. I too, may be out of touch for a bit here, and at least with my "femme" side. Family trials continue, not disasterous ones like losing my folks this spring, but the on-going growing pains exerted by the next generation. Move away, move back, move ____, and on and on.

Still we move ahead, taking it on as it blows in. We do all care in our remote, virtual way for each other here I do believe. At least I do. You all have become good friends to me. People who understand and accept, do not question, and do not ask to move in with me when the boy friend gets moody.

Ciao, r

Since I have no support groups around here my main support is this forum and all the wonderful ladies I have meet over the years. I like a lot of girls have seen members come and go and a few of my best friends have seem to dropped off the face of the earth.
If I don't check in everyday I feel a lost for the day.

Well DeeDee, nobody said it was easy, then again nobody said much of anything about this trip around the sun did they? I agree, some of our sisters who just seem to disappear does make us wonder with out even a good-bye. We can only hope that they have found solace in whatever path they have chosen. We know it is not because we did not offer them the love and support that is more than abundant here.

I can say this that in my travels and having met several of the girls here in person, you all are the most loving and considerate folk I have had the privilege of knowing and sharing with. In fact one of our members is here in our home right now, and she is such a delight!!!! Get out and meet each other in person, I don't think you will be disappointed, even if it is just for a cup of coffee.

Reach out and touch someone! We are all nice folk!!!

Love you all!

Virginia

For me I do not post here as my life is a little hectic most of the time. I have a lot going on in my life and try to balance my time here with work, youtube, my xbox 360, my friends just got me into World of Warcrack, I mean Warcraft. Plus looking for a girlfriend and my Ren Faire gig. I am a busy boy.

What is beautiful is that no matter how far you go or for how long your are gone,the friends you make will always be here,some old friends and then there are the new friends to share with. I know that 3 years ago I was searching for people who would hold me up when I was down.So many people have shared their lives with me,without even knowing anything else about me. I think it is beautiful.Forums like these are what Communities are supposed to be.
What has amazed me over the past day or so is no one forgot who I was and that makes me feel extremely special....so thankyou all.

Hugs Penny

I have not met anyone from this forum in person yet I feel a very strong connection to a lot of you.Like Carol Ann this was my only support for a long time.If all of you had not been here for me there is a very good chance that I wouldnt be here to write this. Friendship,caring and love do not always need to be directly in ones life to make a difference.

Hello Ladies.
I am one of those who probably appeared to disappear so to speak.
I will always be grateful this forum exists. It was of infinite help when I first came out. I check in periodically and it still is doing that for others. Yay

I am to the point where I need to develope more social skills. This just means a preference for face to face exchange and discussions, not just with TG folks but everyone. I find written communication the least effective form of communication and not inclined to engage in it much these days. Its nothing personal.

I have since relocated to Colorado where there is a healthy TG community to meet up with in person. I'm still working on the loose ends of the practicality of this gift I was born with but they don't seem to relate to anything Ive seen posted on the forum. Ive also developed an interest in being TG activist without having to jump into mainstream politics. (Is that an oxymoron?) Wish me luck.

Just getting on with life you might say. My email still works if anyone is interested.

xox
Sylvia H

Hi, Sylvia -

Congratulations on this, your newest segment in life. You'll find quite a few of our members in Colorado, so do be sure to get in contact with them.

Virginia and I have personally met with Kyra and her wife, Amber(SO) while we were in Denver two years ago, and they are as beautiful, warm, and friendly IRL as they are online. Kyra's local Tri-Ess group is very active in the community with several outreach programs.

As Virginia stated earlier, if time permits we try to meet some of our members while on our travels. This doesn't always work out schedule-wise, that is, but we thoroughly enjoy our time spent with those we are able to meet.



- SL

I have been coping for a long period being a cd in a smaller area without any support. If it wasn't for something like this I would feel alone. But through this forum and chatting on Yahoo. I feel that I have other sisters out there for support.

Hi all,

Dee raises a good point. It's in the very nature of online relationships and friendships to be fickle on occasion. But I think this fickleness is rarely malicious. "Real life" impinges and makes demands; the "girl within" takes a back seat for a spell. When that happens, visiting crossdresser support forums and communities may not be too high on a list of priorities (even though it may be precisely during those times that contact with a caring group is paramount).

For me, true friendship finds its test in any renewed contact that follows a prolonged absence. This is true in real life as well as online. I have friends living on the west coast whom I get to hear from or meet up with maybe once every three or four years. The weird (and very satisfying) part is that, when we do meet or talk, it feels as though we'd last gotten together only the week before. This is what friendship is and does, online or not; it lets you feel safe when you share your frailties and vulnerabilities with another person or group; it lets you knock at another door in the wee hours of the night when you're going through tough times or makes you welcome that knock when someone's in need; above all, it gives you a rounder, fuller, richer, deeper picture of who someone is--even if you've never met that person in real life.

Of course, we remember you, Penni; your story (as well as Marie's) has left (and leaves) a mark on people here. Inasmuch as any of us show ourselves naked and hurting here, we give others a chance to let us benefit from their experience and wisdom and compassion. People--friends--appreciate this and will rarely hesitate to seek us out in return when they need to cry on someone's shoulder or share a moment of personal triumph.

Again, that's the beauty of friendship, that, over the years, we get to know each other--beyond names, beyond faces--well past what Danielle, in her "Revelations" thread, calls the "surface level." And this depth abides. It easily survives prolonged absences of contact.

Of course, this is made easier if founding and original forum members are still here (which, in this case, they are); it lets us know that there's a social glue here that makes people want to stick around. In my opinion, that glue is not common trans concerns but, rather, simple friendship.

You know, I don't necessarily share many political or religious affinities with much of the membership here but I stay--no, not only stay, but enjoy coming here--because I find that this is one of those very few forums where people live "in their hearts," and not just "in their heads." There's very little intellectual oneupmanship here and very nearly zero emotional oneupmanship. I don't know your real names or identities nor do I know who you are and what you do in all those "accidental" or incidental details that go to make up daily life but you're nevertheless the "realest" group of people it's been my pleasure to know. Just because, precisely, you've allowed yourselves to be seen "in the depths," emotionally naked.

You can leave for a year. Or two. Or even three. We'll remember you when you come back. You leave a mark.

Love,
CJ

CJ,

You are such a sweetie!!!!!

Love ya,

Virginia

I disappeared due to the combined pressures of too much work during the day spilling over into my nights and weekends, as well as additional responsibilities here at the forum requiring attention. Combine those things with my lifelong clinical depression, and it was all just too much.