Crossdressers-Haven.com

I had to think hard about this one, trying to actually picture my wife dressed as a man. I imagined her going to the same effort to look like a man as I do to look like a woman, padding and all.

Since I am a CD I suppose my opinion might not reflect the same opinion as non-CDer but here goes. I know I would get into it much more if I were dressed too.

But if I had no desire to CD I would probably think 'Why?' Since I love her dearly I would make every effort to understand. If it were a sexual thrill for her then by all means, do it! But that is a man's point of view. I guess I would go along and see just how far it goes. Once that was determined I would have to reevaluate my feelings.

I've tried to put the shoe on the other foot many times but it's really tough to answer that because I would always see her doing that as a green light for me to CD.

Poll added 5/2/04. I just thought I'd throw a monkey wrench into this.

I don't think I would have much of a problem with that. It might be nice if part of the package included her treating me like a lady. I think I could have some fun with that.

I can't give you any other answer, because I am a CDer and find it difficult to see things from any other prospective, and don't I could give you an intelligent response.

As I have no SO, I think I'd be overjoyed.

-Celia

On the urnotalone.com site I call myself a trans-lesbian so I'd have to say I'd be upset, but I'd learn to live with it if it's what she wanted.

Beauty

Hi Beauty,

That reminds of the cowboy-lesbian joke, which you may have heard, but I'll post it anyway because I love it--

Love,
Laura

 
The Cowboy and the Lesbian
30-X-2000

An old cowboy, dressed in a cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar, sat down, and ordered a drink.

As he was sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.

After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?"

To which he replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life on the ranch herding cows, breaking horses, and mending fences, so I reckon I am."

After a short while, he asked her what she was.

She replied, "I've never been on a ranch so I'm not a cowboy, but I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think of women. When I eat, shower, watch TV. Everything seems to make me think of women."

A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink.

A couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

To which he replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian.
 
 

Hi Y'all,

First, let me thank Laura for the fine joke. I needed a good laugh this morning.

As for having my SO tell me she was a CD, I had often thought about that trying to put myself in her shoes. I came up with two answers.

First, as a CD myself, I would probably be taken back a little but would be understanding. It might even result in some fun times.

Now, if I were not a CD, my feeling would probably echo those of many SO's who post here. If we were into a realtionship for a while, I would want to know why she hadn't trusted me to tell me sooner. I would want to know if this meant I had done something wrong in our relationship. Did she want to change into a man? Was she gay?

I must admit that these questions and probably a bunch more sure sound familiar. In the long run, it probably wouldn't change my feelings for her but there would be a lot of adjustment.

It is amazing how my feelings are similar to those of the SO's. This was a good exercise. It made me think a little more like they do and understand their feelings more. Thanks.

I just threw a monkey wrench into this subject. Now let's see it the messages posted reflect the votes cast.

Hi Julie,

I was close to voting, "Sure I'll give it a try" but the "I guess" part makes it look like I'm just accepting it and not giving her the support she needs.

I also like the Sweetheart it's music to my ears, but it wouldn't be music to my ears. I would want to ask her if she wanted me to help her to dress though.

So my answer would be a combination of the two. "Sure, I'll give it a try. Would you like me to help you dress?"

Great idea for the poll !!!

Beauty

I really wouldn't like it that much, but I would have to be fair. I love all aspects of femininity, and to see my wife deviate from her feminine beauty would be hard. Thoughts of a beard on my wife, were a bit unsettling, but if she truly feel this way, I would support her. I would ask, however, that we both had CD time and non-CD time, so that we both could explore our CD sides and also keep the non-CD aspects which initially attracted us to each other. It's all about compromise.

Nuff Luv,

Erica Shade

Hi Erica,

I appreciate for your honest answer. I do agree, and I think that most CD's who are attracted to women only,wouldn't be thrilled with the idea of discovering their SO's (of many years together) wanting/needing to "look and act" like a man.
I actually think that (in most cases) it may be harder for a CD to accept and see his SO dressed and acting like a "man", than a non-CD

Infact, I gave up wearing my "very" feminine things for about a month (not too long ago), and I think it was harder for my husband to get used to than me. I didn't dress as a "man", I just dressed "neutral", "comfortable" [teeshirts & jeans (women's of course)] not my usual frilly self.


I feel the same way about my husband, if I wanted to be in a relationship with someone who "looked and acted" like a women, I would have sought one out. But I am attracted to men, I am attracted to my husbands masculine side (I don't mean macho, there is a big difference)


I have had this same discussion with my husband, since he was/is very attracted to my femininity (I very much enjoy being and feeling like the woman that I am), I have always worn skirts, heels, make-up, etc. but I am so much more than just all of those superficial things, I am a woman, a lady, that is all I know how to be, I could never try to be something other, I really wouldn't want to either, I love being who I am, and being treated as the lady that I am.


Love (SO)

All right LOVE you rule LADY!!
I voted in the pole, but.... althought I can dress and pass - ain't no way my wife could! She is beautiful, 38 - 22- 36 and her feminine features would just shine through!!! Now if she just wanted to stay home and dress "en drab" as we say - that would be interesting to see, but to go out dressed "en male" nope! ain't no way!!!
Love,
Deborah

This is an interesting topic. It sure does put the shoe on the other foot

I voted that it was fine as long as I get to dress as a woman. It seems only fair to me.

However, I would probably be a little bit uncomfortable if my SO wanted to dress as a man in public. Reminds me of that scene in 9 1/2 weeks with Mickey Rourke and Kim Bassinger where Kim dresses as a guy.

This certainly gives us some perspective about what our SO's go through every day they are with us.

Sharon

After thinking about it I had to go with one that said sure lets give it a try. I thought about it and I would have to say that other wise be a hipocrite which I hate.