Thoughts and ramblings

[Gillian]

I joined this group to get a picture of whether I am different, or similar to others that have the same lifestyle. I now see that we have our similarities and yet, some differences also. Stereotyping is not good, yet and world seems to be full of it. Absolutes abound in our thinking and add that to our stereotyping and we wonder why the world is so screwed up. Is there a 100% man , or woman? Are we not the result of this cocktail of hormones that rage with in us? It still rages after our teen years, we just don't notice the obvious any more. I don't know what the levels of testosterone, or estrogen are in my system, but I know they are there. This whole me Tarzan, you Jane is crap, we have to move beyond these gender absolutes. I remember growing up in the 60's in a Canadian winter, the girls could not wear pants unless it was below minus 10F. Then it had to be a type of pant suit. By the time I left High School the dress code had changed drasticly. Womens lib was in, and men started to grow their hair long. Mens clothing lib never came.The mens stereotype seemed to get entrenched more as the women started to express themselves in a new way. How could "me Tarzan" show my gentle side and not get labeled, and become an outcast? The answer was very easy, do the masculine thing and bury it very deep. I wonder how many of us would have raided our sisters, or mums dresser drawers if we had the freedom to dress as we pleased without stereotypes of what is male and female. Oh for the freedom to walk down the street in the summer in a light airy summer dress, and still be me, a guy. Maybe a cotton floral print. Noone would talk, or whisper, noone would care. The clothes revolution came to women, but not to men. What will start the next revolution?

The problem with nature is that it gave boys this toy between there legs. As the hormones started up it didn't take long to find the fun and pleasure of playing with this toy. With most children, they are not happy with just one toy to play with, they want to add in more. Add this into the mess.

I read a book that talked about development, and the human experience. It was by a man talking to men. His SO wrote one for women on a simular note. He said that he saw 5 areas of development. One, the Cowboy, the one who looks for fun and adventure. Two, the warrior, becoming the conquerer(the sports). Three, the lover, becoming the poet, the artist, the one who sees the beauty of the world, and the one who gets a mate. Four, the king, the leader and one who builds a home,empire, fortress, refuge to those in his realm. Five, the sage, the kingdom is passed on to the next generation, and now the wisdom of life helps out as there kingdom becomes lesser. The problem is that to many get stuck and never move beyond with the occasional foray into another stage. Who has not heard, or used this expression, "grow up and get a life". Add this into the mess.

SO's have there ideas of what a man should be. Men are told by society what a man should be. Between absolutes and stereotypes, I am amazed some of us don't explode. If any marriage is to survive, communication and compromise has to be there. Noone can have it all there way. I love football, golf, panties, slips, and floral dresses. I just wish the world would let me out of the box. And the hormones rage on! I do get out of the box, noone else sees it, now I can share it with someone else who also understands.

[Absaroka]

Hi Glyn,

Nice post, touching on a lot of ideas

I thought a bit about the late 60's and liberation of clothing. I grew up in New England and remember the same girls in pants thing. There was a pants strike in our HS where one cold winter day most of the girls wore pants. After that the dress code was amended.

I'd say there was a mens liberation of clothing as well, although it took a different form. In the mid 60's boys didn't wear jeans to school. Hair length was regulated and tee shirts were iffy. By time I graduated HS boys had a much wider choice of non restrictive clothing. Jeans, short pants, tee shirts, sleeveless tees, long hair and moustaches were all okay. Now beards are also okay. The trend in girls clothes was towards comfort, simplicity and practicality. The trend in boys clothing was the same. It was because of the more formal and restrictive nature of girls clothing that they moved towards boys clothing. In Jr High girls were still wearing girdles! Think about it. How many 13 year old girls really want to wear a girdle to school every day?

Of course we here at the forums like to be moan that the liberation didn't extend to us wearing skirts and dresses. But honestly, given a choice between the freedom to wear a dress, and the freedom to not wear a tie, I'll choose the later without a moments thought.

Funny about stereotypes. I pretty much stuck to the teenage boy uniform of jeans and tees with flannel shirts in the winter. I still do. Back then however a boy who dressed with exotic materials and flamboyant designs was not accused of dressing girly or gay. You were accused of dressing like the black kids, which was just as bad from the perspective I had at the time.

Zari

[Gillian]

Zari, I to remember alot of those things that I now take for granted. I remember me in tees with someones logo on it, and bellbottoms that you could not see your shoes. My hair to was half way down my back. The Hippie years were fun. I see some teens pushing the envelope today. Ear rings are nothing, I have seen long hair and makeup on the odd one here and there. Flamboyant clothes are in for some. I wonder if I were a teen today, would I be pushing the limits?