Going beyond the closet with your cross-dressing

[Kittie]

I wear what I can all the time e.g. bra ,panties, tights but have a desire outside to wear a lot more. e.g more girlie colours and styles. eg. blouses instead of shirts stylish jeans girl-style, girlish jackets even makeup. How do you go about. do I make my hairstyle more unisex? etc.

[Erica S]

I am in the same boat as you are Kitty. I do wear women's clothing, my own, from time to time but wish to wear more and more often. I do like the selection better and what it does for me inside.

Hugs,

Erica

[Willie W]

I can't be too obvious wearing fem clothing in public, but I do wear girl's jeans (and of course bra and panties) daily.

[Kimberly Kael]

Underdressing is so popular in the CDing community precisely because it side-steps the whole issue and that's ideal if your goal is to project a completely masculine appearance. Going beyond that gets into changing your image and puts you back in unfamiliar territory for most.

When it comes right down to it there's no barrier to wearing whatever you like (presuming it preserves your modesty sufficiently) other than your own comfort level. The important first step is deciding what image you're comfortable projecting. Soft and sensitive but still clearly male? Metrosexual? Androgyous? Feminine? Girly? Only you know how you'd like to be perceived.

The next step is to find someone you trust to provide you with honest feedback. Kids have parents to guide them when they're still developing a personal style, and the safety net of knowing their peers are also figuring out what works at the same time. The same awkward missteps as an adult garner a very different reaction - meaning you either need a thick skin or some private practice with a good, honest friend to guide you.

I did the "slow fade" in my life, adding feminine elements to my wardrobe and personal style a little at a time, but it would have been much harder without my wife giving me feedback every step of the way. It got much easier when I got comfortable enough to try things on before buying them. You have to learn what flatters your body style by trial and error, mostly, and an ill-fitting garment is never going to look good no matter how tasteful it might look on someone else.

It might sound like a lot to consider, but it can also be a lot of fun to explore. Enjoy! And let us know about your steps along the way.

[DonnaT]

I have a pair of jean shorts that I wear with a tank top. Unless you owned similar attire you wouldn't know it came from the women's section of the store.

I have a bunch of tank tops like that, one even in pink, that I wear to the gym. No one notices.

Lots of guys wear women's jeans these days, so you should manage fine, unless they have a bunch of embroidery on them.

Blouses would be noticed unless they have fem embellishments, or darts.

Wearing a bra underneath would be tricky, however.

[JoAnnDallas]

Sometimes I will wear a pair of my girl jeans, a girl top, girl shoes, but otherwise male mode. Most times no one notices. Then too, I enjoy getting all girled up and going out as a woman.

[Anne Bonny]

I agree underdressing is easy, allows you even to have shaved legs, nail polish on your toes, wear a feminine scented deoderant, panties and a bra with impunity. Unless you wear a white or tight fitting shirt, with shorts and sandals. There are ladies polo shirts nearly identical to men's except the the buttons are on the left with the overlap on the right few would notice this but some people are keen observers. Many women's shorts are nearly identical as well and there are ladies deck shoes, tennis shoes and loafers trouser socks - if you wish to venture out a little more, I bet with a coat few would notice your shirt buttoning the opposite. You can feel feminine be completely crossdressed and venture out but know that you may be on the receiving end of some accepting smiles by women who notice. I remember receiving some smiles going through the Back Yard Berger drive up with my wife unaware that my bra strap was showing - my polo was a little wide and loose around my neck! Not to worry - no one made a fuss and on return trips I received a nice smile form the same watress - not sure if she really remembered or ever even noticed. I was also out adding seed to our bird feeders fully dressed with flaired jeans, cork wedge sandals and beautiful pink polish on my toes, wig, breast forms white blouse turned and my neighbor was 50 feet away on his back patio smoking. I ran for the house about 25 feet away. Never a word mentioned and I have spoken to him since. If you are feeling feminine why fight yourself, let your heart reflect your inner feelings in your style of dress and enjoy - our limits are in our head, and there are some risks for some if they are discovered but that is for each individual to judge. Now out walking our dog my wife talking to a neighbor down the street told me that thay thought one of the neighbors was gay - oops - is that a misunderstanding about crossdressers - there may be some rumor about? I don't really care - I usually present a solid masculin image and am on good terms with my neighbors.

[MsJoann]

It really takes some baby steps where this is concerned. I was comfortable wearing ladies jeans every day. That was about 7 years ago or maybe more.
On the weekends, I like more casual dress such as athletic clothing and sneakers. I like the white canvas type m,ade by Keds.
For almost 2 years now, I have let my natural hair grow out and it's very long...no need for a wig anymore. I still wear bracelets and necklaces, but nothing loud enough that I look like a freak. (remember....no makeup while going out guy).
I have no problem shopping fopr clothes. Mostly no one says anything to me. However, I only go out and buy new clothes for special events.
All in all, dressing how you want is a matter of your own comfort-zone and can take time before you attain this level. Don't ever let anyone bully you.!

[Absaroka]

I think you want to ask yourself why you want to do this? It sounds as if you feel you are actually a woman in a mans body. Dierdre McClosky wrote and excellent book about this, I think it was called Crossings. She talks about assuming gender roles vs CDing and uses the classic example of going to a CD support group where after dinner the men sat around in their dresses talking about getting in touch with their feminine side while the wives went into the kitchen and did the dishes. A key moment for her was when she realized she wanted to be in the kitchen doing the dishes, not sitting around with the other men.

My question at posts like this is always the same. What other ways besides your appearance do you express your female side? How would you express it in a nudist colony? (and no I'm not talking about jewelry or makeup or hair styleing)


There are however many other reasons. I'll throw out one. In college I often wore my girlfriends jeans and flannel shirts. This was not for the thrill of crossdressing, I'd have recognized it. I did that to, try on her lingerie and sexy clothes in private. But this was something I did openly and although I was wearing womens clothing they were unisex womens clothing. They were womens clothing because they belonged to a woman who told me I could wear them.

The reason I wore them (and she did the same thing with mine) was that this made me feel closer to her. A very real, very basic and intrinsic thing.

I remember talking about CDing with my therapist and he pointed out that he himself was wearing his sons college sweatshirt, and that his wearing of his sons clothing in this way was meaningful to him and made him feel closer to his son. Presumably he'd have felt the same way about his daughters college sweatshirt.

On the other hand many of us draw some sort of a line. I'll wear my wifes lingerie from time to time. I would never wear my daughters lingerie although we swap sweats and flannel shirts.

Zari

[Kittie]

This morning I brought up wearing a skirt for leisure at home. I have brought it up before but today it was accepted
& I shall wear tonight. I won't overdo it at first. I needed to come out and it is a gret relief. She agrees with everything else already. I also mentioned my new coloured panties. They got more comments saying I could not wear them at gym. We will see about that

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Post edited only to remove the all-caps text; there is no reason to 'shout'.
Etiquette Guidelines - http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... hp?t=10059

- SL

[Sophie Scot]

I dress almost every day,and as soon as I come home from nightshift,I slip into silky nightie for bed,my Wife works early shift,so when she finishes work,im already dressed and in bed,then I get up and pick a nice outfit to wear for the rest of the day,

Down side of my days are when I have to get changed and into Drab for work:( but needs must,well a girl's gotta get money to shop lol.Sometimes I have my drab days,when I take stepsons to watch Soccer,be with my Son or when my Lovely Wife fancies a wee drab day with her man.

Sometimes I dream of being 24/7,desperately feel it at times,but Then I feel am being so Ungrateful and realise how lucky I am to be able to dress as much as I do,and to have such an Understanding and Loving wife

Sophie xx