This may belong in links but more people will probably see it here. A good story about the LA Times sports writer that commited suicide after starting transition then stopping.
http://www.laweekly.com/2010-08-19/news ... ove-story/
Christine Daniels
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Marti
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Carolynn
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sad story, too oft repeated
Christine Daniels story is all too common when therapists don't insist on preparation of the TS applicant for the losses they are very likely to suffer. When the TS doesn't face adequately the probable results concerning losing those they hold most dear, then the therapist does her client a diservice. However, a enthusiastic client can override a therapists concerns, and some figure out what the therapist wants to hear and that becomes the party line. Therapists are also slow to make the client aware of physical shortcomings that can make acceptance more difficult, and that of course comes from trying to be "supportive" to the needs of the client. Sometimes that support needs to come at the end of some blunt talk, along with some measures of what they might do. Christine's height and realtive inexperience coupled with the total insensitivity of those who want to make their views known at her expense and in print. Her "support" network was not too good either, setting in motion events and publicity that she was ill prepared for.
The other problem is not being prepared to understand that love is not unconditional, and for many people transition is seen as an act of betrayal; i.e., its all about them not the transitioning person. On the other hand, the transtioning person often becomes sooo focused on achieveing their goal, that they willingly wear blinders to anything that might be signals of opposition that should be carefully considered. The risk of and the willingness to lose the regard of family and friends can be devastating to the unprepared mind. It is up to the therapist to be sure the client goes into it with a clear understanding of the potential consequences.
The therapist needs to be sure there is a support network outside the family before the client "comes out", and a plan "b" for job and keeping an income. Even then what is seen as a secure job may go away very quickly despite assurances. I have friends who worked for companies that have affirmative action policies that include transgender support, but anyone can be set up by supervors who want to be rid of them, and fired. And they were.
One was making a 6 figure salary at the international Devon Energy, while another was just a sales person and IT tech at Ulltimate Electronics. Both were fired, not for transitioning, but due to trumped up infractions that were common practice before and after the individuals were fired. Since there was a record of infractions, they were not fired due to transitioning, though that was the real reason. The difference was that the one making 6 figures income got a buy out package instead of just being fired.
Not all transitioning TS face such a grim situation. The young may be in better straits. But many not only lose family and friends, they lose jobs and find themselves without the finances to further their tranition for a long time, and if they are not very passable, they may be unable to get another job and find themselves in a spiral of depression. So transitioning is not for the faint of heart. Many of us wait and wait and wait until it is literally transition or die before doing anything, and then we are old as the hills and being passible is that much more difficult.
Christine's story is a sad reminder to that fact.
Carolynn
The other problem is not being prepared to understand that love is not unconditional, and for many people transition is seen as an act of betrayal; i.e., its all about them not the transitioning person. On the other hand, the transtioning person often becomes sooo focused on achieveing their goal, that they willingly wear blinders to anything that might be signals of opposition that should be carefully considered. The risk of and the willingness to lose the regard of family and friends can be devastating to the unprepared mind. It is up to the therapist to be sure the client goes into it with a clear understanding of the potential consequences.
The therapist needs to be sure there is a support network outside the family before the client "comes out", and a plan "b" for job and keeping an income. Even then what is seen as a secure job may go away very quickly despite assurances. I have friends who worked for companies that have affirmative action policies that include transgender support, but anyone can be set up by supervors who want to be rid of them, and fired. And they were.
One was making a 6 figure salary at the international Devon Energy, while another was just a sales person and IT tech at Ulltimate Electronics. Both were fired, not for transitioning, but due to trumped up infractions that were common practice before and after the individuals were fired. Since there was a record of infractions, they were not fired due to transitioning, though that was the real reason. The difference was that the one making 6 figures income got a buy out package instead of just being fired.
Not all transitioning TS face such a grim situation. The young may be in better straits. But many not only lose family and friends, they lose jobs and find themselves without the finances to further their tranition for a long time, and if they are not very passable, they may be unable to get another job and find themselves in a spiral of depression. So transitioning is not for the faint of heart. Many of us wait and wait and wait until it is literally transition or die before doing anything, and then we are old as the hills and being passible is that much more difficult.
Christine's story is a sad reminder to that fact.
Carolynn
"It’s not given to anyone to have no regrets; only to decide, through the choices we make, which regrets we’ll have,"
David Weber – In Fury Born
David Weber – In Fury Born
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DanteCarrie (FTM)
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There are also cases where people are misdiagnoised as transexuals when their gender issues did not run so deep and actually though they had issues withtheir gender this was just a contributing factor to things like depression and so a small number of people think they are trans its confirmed by a doctor they transistion and they after the new thrill wears off they find they are not as happy as they thought and want to go back but some things done to the body can't change back and thats very distressing. not so sure that was the case in Daniels situation its always hard to speculate whats really going on with people. But agreed therepists need to be more aware that people will lie or act the part to get what they want even if its not whats best for them and they did to be aware that for some individuals they will actually end up more depressed at loosing their family than not changing in the end. very hard to judge though and physcologists, psychiatrists, counsellors they are all only human at the end of the day
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DonnaT
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I don't know. I think she had a good support group and close friends.
Most likely, due to her despondency over the loss of her wife, the anti-depression drugs did more harm than good.
The FDA issued a suicide caution for anti-depressants back in 2004. They asked drug companies to put a warning label on their anti-depressants due to concerns about a possible increase in suicide.
I believe the drugs drove her to detransitition, and so he not only lost his wife but also lost Christine.
Most likely, due to her despondency over the loss of her wife, the anti-depression drugs did more harm than good.
The FDA issued a suicide caution for anti-depressants back in 2004. They asked drug companies to put a warning label on their anti-depressants due to concerns about a possible increase in suicide.
I believe the drugs drove her to detransitition, and so he not only lost his wife but also lost Christine.
DonnaT