Crossdressers-Haven.com

Ladies,
in my journey to understand why I need to dress as women I wonder about examples of masculinity.
My father served in Vietnam and although his experiences there weren't pleasant and have left lifelong emotional scars on him and his family It was army training that troubled him most.
As a result of his experiences he brought me up to be better able to cope with that situation. I was given a very Spartan masculinity, it was about surviving anything and comforts were not important .
He wore no jewelery ,clothes were functional, he owned 2 pairs of shoes work boots and a "going out pair", He taught me how to survive off the land, how to fight a gorilla war and all the things that go with that.
It short I was given a Hyper Masculine/Warrior example to live up to.
I'm wondering if my need to dress is a way to find balance, that my embedded image of masculine was so extreme that in order to find balance I needed to embrace an extreme Feminine.
My interest in clothes, shoes, (oh the Shoes), make up, jewelery, etc, Looking after "myself" that that implies was the other side of the coin as it were.

this is not a fully thought through theory just a train of thought

I'm interested in your thoughts and experiences around this

Shayne

Shayne wrote:I first recall the desire to dress when I was about 5 or 6 Playing dress up with my sister and cousins.

Did you notice your father's example of masculinity at the age of 5 or 6?

I've no sisters, and 4 brothers. My dad was a tank commander. Taught us to box, hunt, fish, map reading, etc.

AFAIK, none of my brothers have the CDing urge.

Personally, I think it is something we are born with.

I was mostly mommy-raised as my dad was in the military and would be stationed where we couldn't go with him. Mom and dad did want us to grow up self-sufficient like cooking, etc. Mom didn't "sissy-fy" me; we kids just did what kids do. As we got older, we got responsibilities except I don't really recall having "wife" chores. I was around boys and girls all the time growing up and seemed comfortable enough with either sex. However, the group boy events were not so much for me. I preferred smaller groups and with the girls it was always a comfortable size group.

I don't think cding is a response to being brought up super "masculine" although hyper masculinity is often a response to cding, what shrinks call overcompensation.

Although being transgendered is probably often something we are born with I think my desire to wear womens clothing was something I learned at an early age, and which has since become hardwired into me.

I was the eldest of three boys, my Mother fell ill with breast cancer when I was 12 and I spent the next 6 years tending to her needs. Not the normal life for a teenage boy but I regret none of it. I feel it taught me to be much more caring and sensitive than is usual in such people. I was dressing long before this and the Susan you all know didn't really materialise until my first on line session in 1994 (IRC chat room). That is when all those feelings crystallised into Susan. The rest I think most of you know.

I tend to agree with Donna. If all men and women are created equal, then they are equal without regard to how they express themselves. I have been through all of the therapy stuff, and it helped me to accept myself. but never really explained anything in any terribly convincing way. Genetics, or pre-natal chemistry, or whatever, I don't remember any time in my life when I wasn't attracted to the feminine side.

What this is really about is politics, Where do we go from here?