Lost Interest

[Cindy Michelle]

Have you ever just completely lost interest in dressing. I don't mean stopping, I mean actual lost interest.

As most of you I've been dressing most of my life (60 some years). I've had periods where I purged because I thought I could stop or because of fear of discovery or ???? But this was different. A few weeks ago I got sick, mostly a head cold. The second day I stayed home, I was dressed in panties, bra, girls jeans and shirt (no make-up or wig in front of SO). About 4pm, the bra and girdle just became uncomfortable and about an hour later I just had this insatiable urge to re-dress in my 'boy' clothes. The next day my SO went out for the day which would usually be an excellant opportunity to dress completely including make-up and wig. I had absolutley no desire! Nada, none!

Althought the head cold subsided, I retained a cough for about a week. For that entire week, I had no desire to dress. What's more, all of my fem clothing, including underware, just looked like someone else clothing. It did not impart any emotion at all; absolutely no desire to wear anything but my 'boy' clothes. I pcked up a pair of silky panties one day and just saw them as something for someone else---no feeling of need or desire at all. As the cough subsided, the old feelings returned. I am now fully back wanting to dress enfemme.

Sorry for the long post, but I have often wondered if our urge is hormonal driven. In this case, did my illness change my hormonal balance?

Have any of you experienced the same thing?

[Anthony Simon]

When I was 13 I used to get that sort of thing occasionally - like not have the desire to dress up (a kind of active absence) - and it was a great relief. Like I used to come back from school and have this intense desire to get into panties or whatever. But the whole thing was kind of driven and oppressive and not having that sort of constellation of feelings was a relief (as well as not having the guilt at masturbating afterwards). I remember at the time thinking it had something to do with (effectively) me being validated at school.

Now I get a thing where I can be dressed up and it seems like it's going to on for ever. Then something comes in my head and I sit down at my computer and start writing it down - and whatever else comes up. And suddenly the desire to be dressed up goes away. Just like that. Happens to me quite often. It's a strange thing, but I've come to think of it as me dressing up to hold myself. Like there's something in my head that I can't deal with and am working through - and somehow the dressing up allows me to do that, like gives me the space for that process to occur. In a way you could argue it's like a pregnancy.

The reasons for not wanting to dress up don't seem much like yours...

[DonnaT]

Not that I recall.

I had a bad head cold/flu back in Feb. and still have a lingering cough. However, my hormones are screwed up anyway.

[Carol Ann]

Yes I have been there also a few times. I have opening dressed and gone out for over 40 years now and sometimes the fun of dressing up just isn't as much fun as it once was.

After a while womens cloths are just cloths to me nothing more, I get dressed and it just seem so normal nothing exciteing anymore.

Sometimes I just wonder if I am starting to burn out

[Erica S]

Cindy Michelle,

When I have had a cold it seems like I do not want to do anything at all. I can see were you do not wish to dress. I have not had that feeling yet, due to my time in cross dressing. I would just chalk it up as a side affect of the cold.

IMHO

Hugs,

Erica

[Martina]

I'm just comming out of a period like that. Up to a month ago I was buying lingerie and very girly panties. I was dressing for a period every day and hated getting into the drab. But for no reason at all (although I am constantly worried by the lack of work) I just stopped dressing. I even wore mens underware when I didn't need to and I slept in a t-shirt instead of a nightie and frillys. I was feeling masculine and I would open the hot press and drawers and see fem things in there and feel slightly uneasy. An old friend I used to dress up for was coming to stay over night and I would normally shave my legs and set up situations where he might get a glimpse of pink or lace trimmed underware as I got ready for bed or got breakfast ready in my shortie dressing gown. I had bought a pretty vintage bikini I planned to wear on a sailing trip I had promised him. But I was relieved when he called to say he wouldn't make it. I have gone very long periods like this and I sometimes associate it with depression. Happily last night I put on a nightie and panties and I have a desire right now to fully dress but the sunshine is calling outside and I will settle for panties under my drab. Hopefully this will continue and I think my pal might get to see the bikini bottoms as I trim the sails in June.

[Anita]

Sorry for the long post, but I have often wondered if our urge is hormonal driven. In this case, did my illness change my hormonal balance?

It sounds like it might have been in your case. Having seen the effects of hormones on both men and women, I'm aware of how powerful they can be.

As much of a nuisance as our need can be, it can be unsettling when it just "goes away," too. I'm sure that there are some members of this forum who were thankful for a break from the need to dress, though.

I have not experienced the compulsive side of it for a long time, but I know that when it was compulsive, I feel driven and trapped by it. Compulsive feelings of any kind make it so that I no longer feel like I have choices about how I'll behave, and I don't like that at all.

[Davita]

I have only had times where I didn't want to go through all the effort to get "pretty" but I don't ever recall a time when I didn't want to dress. I mean specifically turn away from it. I've had those slow periods where I wasn't in "the mood" but that was pretty not in the mood to do anything else either.

Times like those slow downs have been related to depression and illnesses for me. I always know when I'm doing better when I'm rummaging through my panty drawer looking for the extra pretty pairs.

[Ralitsa]

I think there may be times when we just don't feel like going through all the effort, having a cold or being sick would probably be a reason for that. In these situations it would be logical to feel like wearing boy clothes simply because there is nothing to think about. Just put on some clothes, any old thing, it doesn't matter.
Since we associate wearing girl clothes with a high level of effort, excitement, and stimulation, then any time we are just trying to survive until tomorrow we would avoid that. I know there are times when I spend a long time just trying to decide what bra and panties I will wear that day, but if one is not feeling well then it would be foolish to expend so much effort on that decision.
So I'm guessing that it is not so much a hormone issue, as it is an energy level problem. It does take considerable energy for girls to get dressed.

[Anita]

You're right, Ralitsa, it does take energy to get dressed. I really noticed on nights when I had a function where I was going to get dressed whether I felt like it or not. I also felt it on nights where I didn't feel enough energy to feel safe out on the streets--it takes energy to be aware of one's surroundings at all times, too.

I would like electrolysis, because that would make it easier to just slip on a blouse and run down to the store.

[KenetaO]

After putting everything away and being a primary care giver for my SO during the last two weeks od Dec '10 and the first few weeks of Jan '11, I thought as soon as she was back to work and I was able to dressup mornings, it has not even been on my mind. It was a shocking to me as falling down the stairs would have been that it has been over 5 months since I felt normal. Before December, I did without eating lunch to save money to buy my next pair of shoes or a blouse that caught my eye. Now nothing! Money isn't the issue at all, even though gas is out of sight, I have some cash set aside for my CDing.

I stopped shaving all over and putting on my moisturizer like I had been for so many years. I know I still have the desire, it just isn't paramount like it had been for so very long.

I do know that when I see myself in the mirror I am shocked that stubble grows where it had been silky smooth for so very long. I'm sure it is just a phase, maybe it is the stress of life and all that is going on in the world!

I do know I want it back the way I was!

Hugs,
KenetaO

[Paula G]

I find that my compulsion goes in cycles, sometimes too strong to resist, sometimes, disgust for what I want to do (although I think I have beaten this one now - but then I've said that before) sometimes, just quite simple pleasure, and yes sometimes indifference.
The thing is that now I have come to accept that following a period of indifference there will be a period of strong compulsion, the trick is to keep it all in balance, a trick I haven't manged to learn yet.

[Absaroka]

The desire comes and goes for a variety of known and unknown reasons for me.

I agree entirely that for me it can have to do with energy. It is both energizing and a release of energy. So if I am sick I can't be bothered with distractions like crosssdressing. As an aside, if I am really sick, like with a stomach thing that makes me throw up, I can barely cope with putting on male clothing.

More interestingly I find that if I'm a little down and alone that dressing sometimes picks me up. If I'm very upset I absolutely do not want to wear anything but my male clothes.

Also some perfectly normal nice days I just don't want to bother. My wife is the same way, but she just wears her sweats.

Of course for someone who is transexual, and for whom crossdressing is really just wearing the right clothing for their internal gender, the dynamics would I expect be very different. After all for a MTF pre op they are striving to have womens clothing become a non event, something similar to me wearing my jeans.

This topic has come up a number of times here, the consensus usually being that for some of us it waxes and wanes, and for others it's more like what Carol Ann describes.

Zari

[Hope]

Oh yes....every year. With me, the desire is very seasonal! Summer comes and....not much interest. Late fall.....ladies whatch your petticoats! I'm loose!

Always wondered why....about that and a lot of other things but....

[Wendae]

I'm in the midst of one now. As some have said it's a thing that that occurs every so often. I still shave and wear panties but don't really feel like getting dressed. Any day now the urge will be back stronger then ever.