Crossdressers-Haven.com

As I discussed in a post several months ago, I created a female character named "Maggie" last year as a means of researching transgender issues and learning about the transgender community. Although this stirred up a lot of unexpected feelings that I had to sort out, I am convinced that I never had any serious transgender issues and that my interest in Maggie was mainly as an actor performing a role. I never really felt that Maggie was "me," but rather I viewed her as a separate and distinct character that I had created.

Maggie eventually performed on stage in an amateur theatrical production at my church. (You can see her picture in the Gallery section.) The female character was warmly accepted and enjoyed by everyone, with the notable exception of my wife. Since then I have gone on to perform several male roles in other productions, including community theater. I worked through my experimentation with Maggie, was able to integrate her positive qualities into my male persona, and moved on.

Now the director of our church theatrical group wants to put on another show, and he has specifically asked me perform in drag. This is not at all what I had been planning. Although a year ago I would have jumped at this acting opportunity, now I am feeling "been there, done that." I am feeling that it would actually be a bad idea and perhaps might undo some of the integration that I have achieved. My wife would also have a fit. But, who knows, it could still be a good chance to perform. If I did go through with it, I would like to start out female and then end up as a male character later in the show.

While I was immersing myself in the female role last year, I found it very enjoyable, although a bit frightening. Since then I have personally felt that CDing is far more trouble and risk than it is worth to me. I find it much easier and more comfortable to be a real man than a make-believe woman. On the one hand I feel that the female role might be fun and a challenge, but on the other hand I am afraid that it would not be helpful to my personal advancement at this point. Then again, if I turned down the role, I might find myself obsessing about what I might have done and regretting a missed opportunity.

Maybe a CD forum is a biased place in which to ask this question, but does anyone have any advice or thoughts about how I should cope with this?

Hello Maggie,

You stated that; While I was immersing myself in the female role last year, I found it very enjoyable, although a bit frightening.

I suspect (from what you have said here) there may be more to this than you are able to see? If I am wrong, and you really are not a cross-dresser, I would not have the slightest clue as to how to respond to you, and am wondering how you could expect me to respond any different?

It appears that perhaps you might be better off finding other people who have preformed as a drag queen but are not cross-dressers to ask this question of, they would in my opinion be more qualified to offer advise.

If you're at all serious about acting, Maggie, the answer is pretty obvious--seize the opportunity and take the role. After all, it is just that--a role. Still, if you or your wife are somehow blurring the line between stage and real life, then perhaps the both of you have larger concerns than whether or not you take a part in a production. Weigh your priorities.

Yours,
Celia

I say do it. Now let me state why because as an actor it is hard to find a good role. This even though it is a small play is still a role. I am a actor at Ren. Faires. In a Ren. Faire it is improv for the entire day as you play off of people and their reactions. While there are a few things we script or at least work out a bit in advance for the most part it is off the top of our heads.

Do it!

I've done some drag performing (at the behest of my ex, who thought that my dressing was some suppressed urge to act), and a few Ren faires. I enjoyed both kinds of performance, and wouldn't mind finding a way to combine the two.

It comes back to the urge. If you like performing, do it. The costuming doesn't matter. As to whether there's more to it than that, well, you're here, aren't you? If it was just a thing, I don't think you'd have joined this community. I'm new here, and don't mean to speak out of turn, but that's just my perception of things.

There aren't many situations in mundane life that encourage us to dress up this way. That is, to step out of our conventional role in life. Take the opportunity. You made a positive impression on someone. That's always a good thing.

My sister, Darlene ( Hi Sis!) said it best. and I also agree, your an actor and its a role! "Just Do It!!!"
Love, Deborah

Sorry, Maggie, i was distracted. My final point is that if you begin to have questions - we will be here for you.
Love,
Deborah

Thanks for all your thoughtful advice.

If in fact I am approaching the proposed drag role as an actor (as distinguished from a cross-dresser or transgendered person), then there really shouldn't be a problem in accepting it. Furthermore, it would only be for part of the show. I would also be performing in male attire for at least one other portion. I could also make it a point to be in costume only during the show, in order to reduce the stress on my wife.