Crossdressers-Haven.com

Not been on here much after telling my wife things were ok for a while then it all went down hill she could not cope with me dressing witch I can understand talking to a shrink helped me realise this is not me I am 44 covered in tattoos pierced into motorbikes . There is no place in my life for crossdressing so I have burnt every thing and getting on with my life again things between me and my wife are good again
Dave

Hi Dave--
It's good to hear that you have good feelings about what you're doing now, because now is the only time when you can act. In some sense, at least half of us on here can or could also say, "This is not me," at least not in the way we thought we were. I'm not speaking for those who felt like they were girls inside from the beginning. I did all the male things, like sports and working on cars. I was attracted to military life, though I couldn't serve. Crossdressing did not fit into my outward life, at all. It did fit some part of my inward life, or I wouldn't have kept doing it.

Crossdressing isn't easy to give up, so I hope that you can find other ways for dealing with any feelings that appear in the future.

I'm sure a charity shop would have liked to have had your things.

Good luck with stopping.

When you feel the urge, just tell your wife you need to work on a bike. Should help some to keep your mind off the urge.

It's a pity it went like that. Particularly as your wife understood at first and even kind of restarted it with her dare.

It does seem very dependent on what your wife thinks, your dressing up. I mean, before she started you up again you don't seem to have needed to do it for 20 years - and now she's negative, you've stopped it.

So, I guess, barring changes in your wife's attitude, you'll survive OK without getting dressed up. But you can come back here and talk, if you want.

well good luck with the "return to normal". I know that I wouldn't be happy giving it up, but that's just me. And we will all still be here if you decide to stop by, just for old times sake, you know.

We are all different. In my twenties I was a serious motorcycle racer. I have great memories of that time, but eventually I realized it wasn't going to be the life for me. We are independent, but we react to circumstances, and circumstances constantly change. Cross dressing may not be the life for you. We generally recommend that you not purge, but it's a little late for that.

The Thing with spouses, is, they change their minds. In the case of mine, more than once. So in deciding whether you will cross dress or not, Your decision has to be based on what you feel you want, not what she wants. Her feelings are to be taken into consideration, obviously, but the final decision has to be yours.

Thank you for all of your kind words I will still be popping in from time to time to give you up dates don't get me wrong I know its going to be hard but giving it my all think that's why I got rid of my dress up clothes temptation out of my reach . Spent time in my garage yest and worked on my bike poor old thing has been sat there for 6 months gave it some tlc and she sparked into life . Next year a new start to life . Felt good to get my hands dirty again .
Hope you all have a very good Xmas
Thanks again
Dave x

DonnaT wrote:I'm sure a charity shop would have liked to have had your things.

Good luck with stopping.

When you feel the urge, just tell your wife you need to work on a bike. Should help some to keep your mind off the urge.

I agree, charity would have loved those.

On the other hand, I tried the bike thing. Didn't work. Ended up painting the thing pink and selling it off to a cancer drive because even my SO thought it was too girly. Oh well...

I like bikes, and used to work on mine, I only stopped because I couldn't aford a bike a van and a car, I used to play rugby and still would if the body was up to it still, I work in a pretty physical way, especially when landscaping, none of this has ever stopped me wanting to dress. I hope you can manage better.

Dave,

I'm hoping you aren't thinking that "out of sight out mind" is a cure. I can't tell you how many times I purged to no avail. I also know that a bike doesn't care what the owner is wearing when she is getting worked on. I knew at least one soldier that wore panties under his uniform so even then there was room in his life for a touch of loveliness and prettiness.

What I'm getting at is push come to shove, there might be a need for a happy medium. As long as your attitude isn't that you must do this (or that) to be happy, but you have the attitude that whatever your decision, it will help is going to do just that -- help. Stay open and to what your body and mind tells you and if it says you need a fast breeze up your skirt on a bike , then figure out how to let that happen.

In the meantime, I hope you stay happy and succeed in your choices. I hope your wife offers some support no matter what the decisions -- even if her support does not include acceptance.

I hate to to rain on your parade but what you think you are giving up will only result in heartache and haunt you without letting up. I speak from experience but wish you all the best honey!

This is not going to be an easy time. I thought I could give up dressing, but found out that it was not going to work. Good luck!

I hope you find your happiness, Dave. I was sad to read that things went downhill with your wife after initially being so supportive, but I hope she is still supportive regardless of the decision you make and that you find your happiness together.

I have only recently started dressing but have been so frustrated at times that I have dumped my wardrobe on two occasions. I am separated from my wife so privacy is no problem. What I have found out is that talking to girls on this forum is the best thing that I could have done. At this moment in time I am happy with my situation even though I am still closeted and probably will be for a very long time while I am living where I am. My wife lives in Spain and we are still friends, I am seriously considering telling her soon.
Thank you "Crossdressers -Forum"

Following on from my previous post I have now told my wife and after a couple of days of weeping and wailing, with accusations of lack of trust, living a lie etc . We spent 3 days almost permanently on facebook exchanging messages like, I did not start dressing until we were living apart and so there was no living a lie and so on, just repeating the same things over and over. Anyway to cut a long story short we finally spent some time on the telephone this evening and ended up having a good laugh about the fact that we could not even share clothes because she is a size 8/10 and I have to buy size 16/18 with bra sizes hers being 34B while I am 40B, she remarked that she had always wanted a larger bust and now I had it and not her. Not to bore you all anymore I am pleased to say we are back as good friends once again.
Hugs & kisses to everyone
xxxxxxx
Joanne