Crossdressers-Haven.com

Who knows?
My wife
Oldest son
Psychologist that I saw
My closest Sister
There is an internet friend from a dating site and we now message on Facebook
My wife's hospice chaplin
My wife's sitter

Who does not know?
Parents are gone and I never told them
my oldest sister (too traditional)
My younger son (he will probably be ok but I want to wait until he is 19, next year).
My wife's family (never ever and rarely see them but redneck country/southern)
My Church (Stuck in the traditional view of societal roles and interpretation of scripture on this issue).
My next door neighbor (not sure what the reaction would be but probably not a good idea)
My friends inherited from my wife (Catholic, and traditional but very nice people).

So I pick my battles, open the door when I feel it is safe, keep it closed when I know it is best to do so. Seems kind of split. And I know were I to venture out this area is not an ideal location. I do like opening the door and so far those I have told have had no problem with it. My wife was the first and told her 7 years into our marriage via letter, then followed much discussion, clarification, and more discussion over the following months with the result that she understood and could tolerate and accept that it was something I could not help. The Sitter I told today, each time it is wonderful. I told her because I did not want her digging in my make-up bag looking for nail polish as my wife has her own, and because I was tired of picking Panties out of the dirty clothing when she comes so that was a legitimate reason. She has talked of Ellen, and gays and her view was that they are born that way, she told me I am fine, there is nothing wrong with me and that no I have not lost her respect. She has been with us so long that though I do employ her we have become friends, or friendly and we talk a lot primarily because I have no one to talk to and I am reaching out trying to make friends now that my wife is no longer able to be there for that but I still love my wife. I wish I could be wide open and I suppose I am working on letting people know more and more. I told her it had been eating at me. Each time I feel a little more free to be who I am, and to be accepted for all of who I am is something that can not be valued, it is priceless. What a relief to be more out in the open.

Self defense begins with caution and an appraisal of the situation.

I think you're doing well. You seem to be gradually coming out where it is possible, and testing the waters where you're not sure. I think that's only wise. I try to do the same, though as a continuously male and only occasional male cross dresser, I have a different goal.

my best wishes!

sounds like great advice. I would love to tell a bunch of people, but alas many are like the ones you mentioned. Mom always told me to pick my battles too.

Yeah, I also think of myself as an occasional MTF crossdresser. If everyone in the world knew because I am mostly masculine I would still only be an occasional crossdresser or intermittent I have had shiny red top coated toenails for the past couple months, will have to redo them when they grow out a little more. I have been shaving my legs too, and allowing my hair to grow a bit longer, enough so that I can approximate a "Dorthy Hammel" style when I am feeling feminine and do not want to wear a wig, so much better if you have enough to be able to do that. That being said I could easily have dressed today but have things to do. I may dress an hour or several hours a day it all just depends on how I am feeling. When I am being creative in the shop working on my car, or boat, sailing, yard work and some activities they seem to give rise to and reinforce my masculinity. When I am in the house doing housework (because my wife has dememtia and is total care) I sometimes dress, or dress just because I am alone, relaxed and the wave of femininity overwhelms me. Anyway that is how my life goes. I really wish I had a wife who understood me and allowed me to be the male lesbian that I am - that sounds like a joke but it really does describe my sexual desires, I am more turned on when we are both being feminine in bed don't know why. I will probably never find anyone like that. My poor wife I know it was not her ideal at all.