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I have wanted to slow my femme side down as Alexis (AJ), becasue 'she' creates friction and division between me and my wife. My therapist thinks I should look into the possibilty of a testosterone blocker in small dosage. The therapist has directed me to a doctor that has some experience in this area and I have requested an appointment, but as of today have not met with said doctor. The thought is that I have too much T and that might be why I have such a compulsion to dress. I have not had bllood work done yet to determine my T levels and think that would be one of the first things the new doctor would call for. I have lots of questions and concerns for the most obvious reasons. I do not want to persue GRS or other feminizing drugs as I want to remain male, but want to have more control over when, where and how long I indulge AJ. My question is, has anyone 'test driven' (my therapists words) T blockers, and what were the results? Please be kind as I already know this kind of treatment is huge stuff and I refuse to take it lightly. I've been on anti-depressants before as my previous doctors were treating me for OCD. But never did address the reasons I dress, very dis-appointed with their treatments.
Thanks for your input in advance
AJ

AJ West wrote:The thought is that I have too much T and that might be why I have such a compulsion to dress.

I have low T already, and it has no effect on my need to dress.

Your T levels should be checked before even considering a blocker. Any doctor preaching otherwise should be avoided. Low T can lead to other problems as well.

Thanks Donna, I have given this much thought and think I should look at other venues for getting things under control. The research I have done does not bode well with being healthy. I'd rather deal with dressing too much than do permanent damage to my health. Thanks again

Hello AJ,

My perspective comes from a behaviorist point of view. That is, most of your behaviors are learned. This differs from the common "it is genetic" point of view. I will further state that many professionals in the realm of therapy view cross dressing as something of a deviant behavior. Let me explain. If one sees that the average individual does not indulge in cross dressing, that is dress in the clothing associated with the opposite sex, than one may assume that such behavior is abnormal. By definition, that which is not average is not normal. That means genius IQ is not normal. That means athletic ability that results in the ability to compete at a professional level is not normal. Do you follow the argument? Yet we seldom attach the stigma of repugnance to those professional athletes or the genius of those whose IQs are in that range of 5 or more standard deviations from the norm. So I ask you is the desire to dress in clothing that one chooses regardless of traditional use really abnormal? If you had decided to start wearing a kilt can we say that this is abnormal behavior?

As to T-levels and all that rot, why should a low T-level make you dress in feminine clothes? Or to put it another way, genes, hormone levels, and etc do not dictate behavior. At the most they only influence behavior. I'm sure that there will be those who will immediately jump on me for that statement, but it is, never-the-less, a true one. The question is why you may wish to dress in such a manner that your wife and Therapist see as an abnormal behavior. The answer is somewhat simple. Because it pleases you. It fills a need that you have perceived needs to be filled. All of us can cite that the clothes feel good, wonderful, etc. But the reason is that along to way towards adulthood we have acquired a need that needs to be fulfilled.

The job of a therapist is to get you to become one of the average individuals, that 68 percent of the population that can be regarded are members of the average. That his or her's job. But their perspective is wrong. It is statistically impossible for the average to encompass 100 percent of the population. It is impossible not to have outliers. So, what are you to do? Either your wife will accept what needs you have in the behavior or she won't. Yes, many women see this as a slap in their face. That somehow they have failed in their roles as assigned by society. Yet what is really needed is that they accept your needs. The acceptance doesn't make them less of a woman, it does not threaten their self worth of personal identity. You are not an alcoholic, denying that you have a problem. You are not some mental defective who needs his brain rearranged so as to be acceptable to society. You are not competing with your wife as to who is the most feminine, etc. You are simple choosing to wear clothing normally associated with women. Where is it carved in stone that thou shall not wear clothing of the opposite sex?

The real problem is one of association. That is, if you wish to dress in women's clothing the what will the neighbors think? Why should the neighbors know? And even if they do, what business is it of theirs? You see, it is a problem of perception. So the problem is that your wife must eventually become convinced that your need is not abnormal but a real one. She must become comfortable with your behavioral needs. That is not an easy task. But if you wish to keep your marriage in tact, then you need to convince her that this is the way forward. I hope I have been able to clarify the problem.

Decided, after a few years, to go ahead with T-blockers. The desire to feminize began two days ago with 100 mg of Progesterone per day. we'll see what else develops after three or four months.

Martine Amance wrote: The job of a therapist is to get you to become one of the average individuals, that 68 percent of the population that can be regarded are members of the average.

SERIOUSLY???? Martine perhaps you would be kind enough to enlighten all of us as to where on God's good earth one goes to glean such a concept. First off we have to define what "normal" is if there is such a thing. Next we have to explore the reason the client is seeking therapy which is not generally to change things but better understand and either become at peace with the issue or discover what they need to change. Finally we have to understand there are a wide of reasons one goes to therapy. Another fallacy is only crazy people go to therapy. That could not be farther from the truth. The fact is even a therapist cannot help anyone until they admit they need help.

The three main reasons are court ordered, under the recommendation of another authority figure (this is generally seen in cases of divorce or separation) and by personal choice. In all of these the role of a therapist is not to make the client "normal" but rather help them explore their issues and understand the whys this occurs and work with them to understand how to cope with their issue. I am going to take a leap of faith here and presume you are referring to gender therapy. In those cases again there is never an attempt to "cure" the patient as we all now this is not something that can be cured. The therapist's role is help the client understand their gender issue and where they truly fall within the all encompassing scope of the term transgendered. Once that is accomplished then and only then is a plan of attack formulated. I know of no therapist who would brag they can "cure" gender issues as it not only is impossible but also highly unethical.

Martine Amance wrote: My perspective comes from a behaviorist point of view. That is, most of your behaviors are learned.

Where does one go to learn to be transgendered? To be a crossdresser? Obviously I am ignorant to existence of the University of Transgender. I must have missed it but is there a course out there on the internet titled "How to become a flaming drag queen in 30 days for $29.95"? I will admit though that would make one interesting infomercial.

While there is some debate as to what exactly why one is transgendered or a crossdresser the vast consensus is it is genetically based. The debate is it an identifiable gene or is it a specific combination of genes or gene mutation or a combination of all of these. My personal opinion is it is a combination of all these factors. If it is learned how you would explain children raised in the same household and only one is CD or TG?

Yes you are correct in many behaviors are learned, this has been seen and studied in the case of children of the same parents, including identical twins, being separated and raised in different environments but nowhere in any of those studies I have read had CD or TG ever been discussed or studied.

AJ West wrote:Decided, after a few years, to go ahead with T-blockers. The desire to feminize began two days ago with 100 mg of Progesterone per day. we'll see what else develops after three or four months.

Hmm... progesterone as a T-blocker? I was on spironolactone as a blocker, not sure if progesterone alone will block the T. (I also have estradiol and progesterone in my HRT regime)

Treating who we are as an obsessive compulsive disorder...or that we have too much Testosterone!? I remember having to read a book about will power..."The Willpower Instinct"

Excuse me but 95% of the population believe Sex = Gender = Sexuality because by a huge consensus this seems to be correct for most people. Thinking does not make it so.

We have all seen males who are female in every way but physically, and we have all seen people born with ambiguous genitalia (in literature if not personally). There is proof right there that sex does not equal gender. (I am sure there are also females who are males in every way but physically too...but women are already given a hell of a lot of leeway to do and to be what and whoever in terms of clothing, and yeah gender too which is why I suppose any women like this to not really stick out in my memory).

Sexuality who we happen to be attracted is not a choice either and is unrelated to what we are talking about here.

We are born a certain way we are not making choices and doing things....we are simply born a certain way. We are simply born with this sense of who we are - period end of sentence. This "this is who I am" sense can very from our physical sex it is not a choice and we have no choice about it just as we have no choice what sex we happen to be born.

There is no treatment or psychological therapy that can alter who you happen to be on the inside. No matter what is done you will always continue to be whoever you happen to be.

We are simple people who are not able to live within the narrow lines of convention, because who we are lies outside of traditional conventions. we will never be able to live and be satisfied if we are medicated or brainwashed into trying to be something we are not.

Personally I have come to understand my gender fills the full spectrum, and some of us fill half that spectrum or some degree between half and all of the spectrum which matches or is the opposite of our sex, Sexuality is really a separate issue entirely.

I take aT block for lapsed prostate cancer It has made my breasts grow to a full B cup and I have become much more emotional than previously my score in gender tests is now about 50/50.

I all ways had the desire to dress and was and still am only interested in real women in a sexual sense.

Just my comments
Rita