Crossdressers-Haven.com

Wondering if the wife is accepting of cross dressing and if she knows that I dress.

I have been moving gradually toward keeping my body smooth. For the last 5 years I've had my back and chest waxed and recently I've started shaving my legs and underarms. She suggested the back and chest wax. She recently mentioned something about the shaved legs to me. I told her that I was tired of the patchy hair on my legs and shaved it off. She then gave me some shaving tips and suggested that I may want to look into leg waxing or laser cause shaving is a pain. Recently we talked about different moisturizers and she told me to use hers.

She has always hated body hair which is good. Also when we were shopping recently she held up a pair of panties and said here why don't you get these. What I'm wondering is this, is she accepting of cross dressing and slowly trying to bring it up to me? Or does she know I dress and is trying to get me to say something to her.

Either way, it would be great if we could spend girl time together. I just need some advice and suggestions.

Thanks
Dani Jean

Try wearing panties under your regular clothes; then watch her reaction.
If it is positive, then proceed slowly on to the next goal, maybe wearing a bra.
I have been wearing woman's jeans only for over 5 years now, my wife said
that I looked good in them. I get mine from Woman With-In catalog, where getting
my size is much easer. They do look like regular guy jeans, but I know that they
are female.
Go very slowly, and do not push the envelope.
Good Luck
Rader

It looks odds on that your wife knows. I mean that's what the panties thing says. It's like an invite for you to admit you're a CD. Which would be good, as she seems accepting (assuming this to be the case).

However... You have a couple of posts here stating that you've been having sex with a guy when you're dressed up. You need to be very aware that, when you start talking about the CDing (if you do), that's going to be like a bomb.

Hi Dani,

First off welcome to our little corner of the world where you will find a great group of girls willing to listen to your plight and offer help and advice.

As for coming out to your wife, only you will know when the time is right. But in my case, what I did was have a " sit down " " heart to heart " talk with her, holding nothing back from her on what I was feeling. Then listening to her concerns & fears and then coming to an agreement that we can both live with.

The one thing you must always keep in mind is to have open and honest communications between the two of you in how far you may want to take this journey.

What ever you decide, I wish you good luck.

If you bought the panties she offered, then she has a good idea. If you didn't, she could have been testing you.

Plus you seem to have quite a collection. She could have found it or found out about your purchases.

It all a guessing game at the moment as to whether she knows or not. I think, with the way things have been going with regard to dressing and going out, she's likely to find out.

May be time to have the talk.

If/when you tell her, she may ask you about men. Are you going to tell her about your desires? She may test you on this as well, if she's testing about the panties, with sex talk.

Hi Danijean,

I've replied to an earlier post of yours and emphasized the importance of openness and loyalty. You don't seem to be doing either of these things. You haven't told your wife about cross dressing or about having sex with a man, apparently doing both on a regular basis.

Now it seems she has discovered at least your cross dressing, and perhaps even accepted it. By showing you that she accepts it, she wants to share your world. This sharing, is what married couples do. Further than that, she seems willing to forgive that you've been hiding an important part of yourself from her.

Making out, having an affair and sex with someone other than your wife, man or woman, while dressed en femme (or wearing Marine Corps dress blues)? Again, fine if they are aware of the situation. Keeping it from your wife?! Come on! That's not polyamory, that's an affair. That's cheating.

My wife divorced her former husband because, after she'd introduced him to polyamory because he seemed to have lost all interest in her - and had told him again and again that secrecy or cheating was not necessary, he kept his other liaisons secret, and cheated on her. And he seemed to get further sexual excitement from the secrecy and the cheating itself. So she divorced him.

That's what you risk.

If the cheating and the secrecy are what turn you on, well that's your choice. But know what the risks are, to your marriage and to your own sense of self.

You have the possibility of being a happily married trans or CD whose wife joyfully participates in your sex life. She may even enjoy a polyamorous bi-sexual marriage with you. With luck, you will remain her primary partner, and you will all live happily ever after. But the odds are not good.

Honesty, loyalty, transparency.

Regardless of what anyone else may say, you do indeed control your own behavior. You do indeed have to live with yourself. Life can be easy, but it takes courage.

My advice? Don't be a dick.

A good and healthy relationship is honest and open. From your wife's actions it is most likely that she suspects something is going on.

Time to bite the bullet and come out. The longer you keep it in, the more you are hurting yourself with all that stress of hiding.

The relief I experienced when I came out to my wife was enormous.

I agree with the other girls, you need to be honest about what you're doing.
It almost seems like the panties thing is an invitation to you to come out with it and tell her. Like she maybe knows or suspects and is giving you the opportunity to come clean. So if you fail to tell her now, then probably she will confront you directly with it and you can't use the "I was afraid to say anything" excuse because basically she already gave you the chance.
And there never is any excuse for cheating, in my opinion, so you're in big trouble there. I don't have any advice on that one except never do it again and hope that she is a lot more forgiving than I would be.

DaniJean wrote: Also when we were shopping recently she held up a pair of panties and said here why don't you get these. What I'm wondering is this, is she accepting of cross dressing and slowly trying to bring it up to me? Or does she know I dress and is trying to get me to say something to her.

My dear, she either knows or is trying to talk you into dressing. What invitation are you waiting for? Her buying a dress in your size maybe?
As for your other activities, that's a big no-no. Being complimented on looks by men happens all the time. Actually, rude comments are more common. Any activity, or even thoughts of doing so, outside the marriage and you may find yourself more woman than you bargained for.

Eileen.

Hi.

Why is there this wondering going on whats that all about seems to me you dont know so why not ask the ?'s you have .
And put your mind at rest and your wife's,

When i was horse rideing 70's to 80's i was haveing issues with hair on my legs and should have just shaved and been done with ,I said to Jos years later i was crazy not to have done it and she said why not , i never gave it a thought, Jos could not have cared less and no one else ether, sometimes theres a good reason to do things as i should have, now does not matter, no horse's or hair,

...noeleena...