Crossdressers-Haven.com

I was in Khaki Capri's my brown ballet flats a maroon top with gold hoops, mascara, lipstick, lady's glasses, necklace, lady's watch and bracelet. ... I have been opening the door but have not told my 18 year old son, though the 20 year old son knows and is fine with it. Anyway a knock came at the door, could not hide I came out of the office and the person knew someone was here - tv on, wife in wheel chair at the table getting ready to be fed, and the doors while kind of opaque with etching of the glass etc I could not be sure if the person saw me anyway. So I went to the door it was one of my son's friends, the son of the owner of the place where my younger son still works. He was completely fine with it, and we spent some time talking I let him know that the situation, that I do not go out and about and choose not to tell the neighbors, church or go out dressed and that I am very selective with who I tell. Thank god for an open minded millennial as often as I beat that generation down they are so laid back and open to everything. This boy is probably about 20. I let him know I'm transgendered, and heterosexual obviously with my wife and our sons.....He asked where to register to vote after getting some of his stuff out of my older son's room - again millennial's share things too and leave things at other people's houses. So we talked about his mom's passing, etc...and he was on his way. I told him my younger son does not know, I was waiting for him to graduate high school did not want to hurt him and asked if he could keep my confidence, which she stated he would.

As my youngest works at their restaurant...I think my hand is forced, I plan to stay dressed and to open up to my youngest in about 40 minutes when he arrives home. He too is a millennial, he is very smart very accepting and open...I sense that he will be alright with it all - but then....I am his father and it will/may be quite a shock?? I just don't know.

It probably is forced. Good luck, Anne.

If he's your son, he has more at stake and might find it harder to take than an acquaintance. On the other hand, as that acquaintance knows your son, you can hardly leave it out there - you probably do have to tell your son.

Thank you Anthony, I really appreciate the rapid reply...about 20 minutes and counting...hope it goes ok, wonder if I should change or remain so he sees what his friend saw?

I suppose I am getting what I have secretly wanted for some time, but it is a lot sooner than I planned and now is kind of out of my hand if I am to protect my son.

Me, I would change. Less to digest in one go.

I agree with this quote, " Me, I would change. Less to digest in one go."
I sometimes think that me take the risks that we do because we want to let the cat out of the bag! Once it is out there is no way to get it back in again. Hope everything goes ok.

Rodger That! Done, and thank God for Millennial's the talk is done and everything is fine, he said he was proud of me, not worried at all that the friend knows because he is BI I explained literally everything, really have this down now so he knows about my being out but not out who knows and who not to tell and why. Gee....hehe...now I can wear dresses whenever I want too!!!!! Well...not infront of the friends but Let see...who knows....Wife knew, Psychologist, Wife's sitter, Hospice chaplain and social worker, one of my sisters, both sons and one of their friends, there's a lady on facebook I private message that's 10 people! The encouragement is to just explode and let everybody know but I do have more sense than that and for good reasons. WOW!!!

Ok...Thanks y'all....

I'm leading a charmed life...after my wife is gone and I have had time to grieve ..when I am ready that is because I know for certain it will take some time - don't want to think about that, em! Then finding an accepting woman will be the number one item on the list of qualities after all the important stuff of course.

For me, suddenly presenting oneself en femme, to friends or relatives, without warning, when they had no previous clue that you were a cross dresser, is vast mistake.

Almost as bad is telling them by letter or email.

The brain processes visual info before anything but pain, which means that a sudden and unexpected image may provoke a strong and unpleasant emotional response before rational thought has had a chance to work.

Written imagery and explanations engage the rational process, but don't convey feelings and shades of emotions very well. If you are a superb writer, fine. But if you really were you'd know it, and likely be paid well for it already. So we use emoticons, but they can only go so far: I've never seen one that says "yes, I know I look like Baby Jane, but it makes me feel all tingly to dress this way, and I'm still your father and I love you." Have you?

Only in face-to-face conversation, in a familiar setting, wearing what they're used to seeing you wear, do you have a real chance of communicating who you really are and how much it means to you that they accept you, even if they don't understand. That gives them a chance to think it over and prepare themselves to see you as a woman - and still as a friend or relative, or both.

Give them the best possible chance to do that.

Yes , I did indeed change so the blow would be softened for my son. For the friend well, what is done is done..he took it very well was not upset but accepting. IT IS NOT THE BEST WAY TO HANDLE IT BUT IF WE ARE GOING TO BE FREE TO BE WHO we are in our own home...this may happen but I agree it is best to not answer the door if it can be avoided.

Anne Bonny wrote:Let see...who knows....Wife knew, Psychologist, Wife's sitter, Hospice chaplain and social worker, one of my sisters, both sons and one of their friends, there's a lady on facebook I private message that's 10 people! The encouragement is to just explode and let everybody know but I do have more sense than that and for good reasons. WOW!!!

"Let see...who knows" ---1727 of us ... hehehe

Glad it went well Anne.

I look back over all that has brought me here to where I am now as you hear in some songs I scarce can take it all in. It is a whole new world! In truth I am not far from being completely out to the world. I am have no problem with who I am, I have confidence that is solid with no apologies. I could see myself out in public but sadly I have to realize that while I have a firm grasp on who I am, the vast majority in society are frozen, stunted in their closed view of who males and females are and that some feel so uncomfortable and so threatened by who we are that their attacks would be more than verbal, I would have to carry a gun because there would be no other way to fend them off from beating me to a pulp. I would only use it if they kept coming at me or lunged at me. It is much better to try to pick and choose women do that traveling in groups and avoiding long walks in vacant dark places at night. As Transgender women we have to do the same thing, and we also have to realize that even in some crowded places we may face a situation where the crowd would not come to our aid.