Crossdressers-Haven.com

People have a difficult time with this because they do not understand us. When I am feeling feminine inside I dress feminine. What is so difficult about that? The twist comes because this is not the same as sexual orientation like GLB....nope we are the very small group known as t and that is gender. There is a difference.

I can love my woman and at the same time desire similar things do similar things want similar things.

I would love to be admired and told I am pretty or that I have nice legs to know my woman finds me attractive.
I would love it if my woman asked me to put on a dress desiring I maintain smooth legs and enhance myself with make-up and pretty jewelry, perfume? well have to be careful I have mild asthma but would if she liked it.
I would love it if my woman wanted to hold and kiss me and give me love.
I would love to be defended, protected, cherished for being who I am.
I would love to receive flowers...not sure about candy it's fattening.
I do not mind doing domestic chores long as they are shared somewhat.
I would love it if I were completely - absolutely free and fully accepted, perhaps not even given any notice if I am wearing or change into feminine clothing when I am feeling more feminine, well a girl does want to be noticed of course and feel she is attracted and likes it when I am pretty or feminine.
I want to feel the same as my woman - equal.

I know for myself, my gender is such that I also feel masculine and dress masculine and want to be masculine too.

When I am masculine I am like any man, wanting my woman as a woman and wanting to be her man and do the converse I suppose. I do not mind the more masculine chores that tend to be dirtier, heavier, etc. Of course I want to buy her flowers and candy or go out and enjoy things together. It is just I am not always like this.

I am not sure where the balance of my gender is because we live a life adjusting to the rejection of "society" it includes our families, our friends, our employers and work associates, the general public, and I used to think even God until recently - that was a huge problem for me but not anymore God does love me after all!

Why have I, why do we or have we had to crawl into a deep dark hole our entire life both in private and in public and lie and hide because our gender is not the same as that of other men, we are indeed partly feminine. It is maddening cruel and outrageous it is a monstrous atrocity practiced on people who are transgender because society wants to completely deny that we exist and are who we are. They do not want to even think about it. They just want to grind us underfoot and then scrape us off as if we can be made nonexistent and when that does not work we are made the butt of jokes, they make up erroneous slurs about us because they never understood us, and they call us names and tell us we are disgusting perverts because they detest us for who we are as if we can help being who we are.

That is what I am tired of. I have finally on my own figured it out, accepted myself at age 40, found spiritual peace recently and I have had enough. I have a right to live and be myself especially in my own home and who knows if I will ever venture out but society is evolving at glacial speed not sure if my generation will see it but society is showing the first cracks that will lead to change and inclusion and acceptance for everyone in the GLBT community, at a minimum recognizing that we have basic rights to be who we are, be citizens, earn a living, and have homes to live in.

There are many people like that, but I certainly do not waste any effort worrying about them. People are mostly ignorant and close minded and don't try to understand anything outside of their immediate area of interest. That being said, they are mostly harmless and insignificant. They can have whatever opinions and judgements about me that they like, I have my own opinions of them.
So I don't torment myself wondering what people think of me, or whether they are snickering behind my back, or whether their religion condemns me, or whether they think I'm a freak. I don't need anything from people like that, least of all their acceptance or approbation.
If people don't like me because I'm not like them, well the reason I don't want to be like them is because I don't like them either. But they don't have to like me and I don't have to like them, we each just need to mind our own business, and as long as they do that I have no complaints.

I am reminded of something I read once.

You laugh at me cause I am different, I laugh at you cause you are all the same.

Hardest for me was overcoming the prejudice and shame I had regarding myself. The key to getting over that was coming out to friends and family, and finding out that almost all really didn't care and they few that did, didn't matter.

Perhaps I was lucky, but I don't think so.

Hi,

Yes, I do think you are right. I am a hairs breadth of just stating to people I'm transgender. telling people does give you strength, I am beginning to realize I am the one holding myself back. Most people now a days do indeed seem to just say it's ok. I have only told women. What the women don't tell you though is that you are simultaneously also secretly removed from that list of men in their head, and are placed over with the women. That is you are no longer thought of as part of a huge pool of potential male prospects. One woman pen pal told me I could make her tea, and go shopping with her...