Give yourself permission to dress.
Posted: Mon Oct 20, 2014 11:19 am
That's it. I suppose if you are thinking about it then you are really saying to yourself I would prefer feminine clothing, and with that make up and jewelry. To get to normal I have to stop agonizing and just do it. I am in my own home, and gender equality gives us the right. We may be the only transgender many will ever see up close, so in little ways we can be an ambassador to show people that there is no difference between us other than our clothing preferences really. Do not focus on gee does she see the outline of my bra, or my ladies watch if you are being kind of subtle just be yourself most people are not going to flip out about it. they may not even mention it as in this case, and may not have even noticed but I wouldn't know. All I know is our conversation carried on as it always does so if she did notice she did not act up set or raise the issue. I suppose if I were more bold I would have been wearing a dress but I am now so that's that.
This is an unrelated thought but I do believe transgender men, at least I know it is true in my case, signal in dressing that they are open to the idea of allowing a woman to take charge and be more in control while we are feeling willing to be taken along for the ride. This is not to say we would allow a woman to take advantage of us or not respect us but in feminine mode we expect to be treated with the same consideration and respect we would show to any woman we care about and love.
The difference for women is they do not signal anything by their clothing option because they are not transgender, so these feelings are not so easy to pick up, it is more a mood and sometimes they are feeling one way, sometimes more the other. As a woman may already be in a dress and feeling more aggressive we see that clothing bears no relation at all for them, it doesn't mean anything. If it does, their mood shifting overrides this in an instant...it's more complicated.
For us our other is signaled by our clothing choice...If we are feeling more aggressive and masculine and in charge a transgender man will be in masculine clothing. I bet that is true - we wear our femininity on our hem so to speak and our masculinity on our pant legs....
wonder if this is just pink fog talking but I really do believe it is true when I feel feminine enough to dress feminine I am definitely in a more passive mood and ready for my partner to treat me like a lady in every respect.
That we do this, back to being normal, it does not change anything else about us as any conversation carries on no matter how we happen to be dressed, we do not stop being who we are because we feel masculine or feminine. I think if people understood that they would not be so potentially up in arms about what we are wearing.
This is an unrelated thought but I do believe transgender men, at least I know it is true in my case, signal in dressing that they are open to the idea of allowing a woman to take charge and be more in control while we are feeling willing to be taken along for the ride. This is not to say we would allow a woman to take advantage of us or not respect us but in feminine mode we expect to be treated with the same consideration and respect we would show to any woman we care about and love.
The difference for women is they do not signal anything by their clothing option because they are not transgender, so these feelings are not so easy to pick up, it is more a mood and sometimes they are feeling one way, sometimes more the other. As a woman may already be in a dress and feeling more aggressive we see that clothing bears no relation at all for them, it doesn't mean anything. If it does, their mood shifting overrides this in an instant...it's more complicated.
For us our other is signaled by our clothing choice...If we are feeling more aggressive and masculine and in charge a transgender man will be in masculine clothing. I bet that is true - we wear our femininity on our hem so to speak and our masculinity on our pant legs....
wonder if this is just pink fog talking but I really do believe it is true when I feel feminine enough to dress feminine I am definitely in a more passive mood and ready for my partner to treat me like a lady in every respect.
That we do this, back to being normal, it does not change anything else about us as any conversation carries on no matter how we happen to be dressed, we do not stop being who we are because we feel masculine or feminine. I think if people understood that they would not be so potentially up in arms about what we are wearing.