Clean shaven after 40+ years and a few other things.

[Stephanie Stevens]

Hello Girls,

I did not want to be a bearded lady so now after many many years, I am going to let Stephanie find her face and hair style. I am both nervous and excited about this. I read some of your fantastic posts about having fitting for bras and wigs which help with the nervousness. My plan is to go into Macy's as soon as they open and have the girls at the makeup counter help me with make up essentials and color choices. I have not yet looked into a wig store in my area, rural coastal Maine, but I will find something. So far I have just been looking online.

Since I have been seriously delving into my femme side I have had a strange thing happen to me and I wonder if any of you have experienced this? When I look at women, which I could do all day ,I notice more and more women who have strong masculine facial characteristics and bodies. This is women i see in person as well as in magazines etc. I have never noticed this before, could it be because now I am looking at more images of male cross dressers? Are there more similarities between male and female facial types then I ever noticed before? I would love to hear from some of you about this.

Thank You, hugs and kisses, Stephanie Stevens
c

[DonnaT]

I don't see many women with masculine features. Every once in a while, maybe, then I wonder if the person is trans or not.

Mainly I just notice the clothes they are wearing.

[Stephanie Stevens]

Well, I am beginning to take more notice of the clothing women are wearing particularly if it looks like something that I might wear. But then I want to have breasts like theirs also There is a current issue of a national fashion magazine on the stands now which is a good example of what I mean. I will see it tomorrow and get the name of the magazine. Thank you Donna for your reply, Stephanie.

[Anthony Simon]

Well, there are masculine women out there. I mean, I study them on TV to see how they cope with strong jaw-lines etc. In general, though, I'm with Donna.

I do have rather a strong drive to see if I can see CDs out there, however - like I'm constantly looking to see whether women might be CDs.

[Robyn]

Generally speaking there are some main differences between male and female facial features (Demi Moore comes to mind). The most obvious are forehead lines, eyebrows, cheek bones, and jaw lines. Sure I think many woman have masculine features but I always see the femininity in them as well.

I do have rather a strong drive to see if I can see CDs out there, however - like I'm constantly looking to see whether women might be CDs.

This made me grin as I do the same and have clocked a couple. If the moment is right I will even approach them with the utmost respect and compliments. Who knows, maybe I'll make a new local friend. :-) There are always tell-tale signs of a man en femme when one looks close enough.

[Anthony Simon]

I've seen a few. Like I see them in the big shopping areas in Central London, mostly. My problem is how exactly I open a conversation without seeming to be intrusive. I've never quite worked that out.

[Noeleena]

Hi ,

Depends on the country food and many other details that have helped to shape people .

In my looking at people over the last 57 years I,v seen many changes take place ,
and going into my background =Prussian =German many of our women have more masculine facial features ., and so because it was of interest to me and I don't know why at the time although I do and have done over the last 22 years , and how I looked at myself .it bothered me a heck of a lot as I did not like how I looked then and now ya well not a lot of difference ,

Im not very if any a pretty feminine looking female more masculine if any thing , so I just have to live with it and accept this is the way I am and get on with life , It does make a difference in what I wear so if you like im just a very plain looking woman and don't do the frilly type wear as our women do in our Edwardian group 1900 -14 now they most do dress in very frilly and lovely wear , if you look at our maids they would be quite plain so that gives you an idear .

with our SCA-Renaissance group 1400 - 1700 this is very different and my garb =clothes does something for me and my clothes reflect my background and I can wear with out a thought most any thing - as a Wench and Chatelaine Lady of the Castle so then this changes how I see myself as it,s part of my history I look more normal as a female and I go over sea,s dressed as well and any where, the style is more in keeping with myself and I don't feel out of place .

So just because we are female does not mean all of us are perceived the same in how we look , Or how males expect us to look and be seen ,

Theres a lot of pressure on us to look a certain way and look sexy , not every one of us can .

I know many of our women are not , so ,I,ll say we may miss on the outer beauty , yet we do have an inner beauty that will surpass that when you get to know us ,

...noeleena...

[Rikki]

Steph,

That was a big step, shaving after many years. Did the same thing ten years ago, let go of a beard that had been in place for 25 years. Told everyone that it was because I looked like Santa, but really it was for Rikki. Did make for a younger look on both sides of the gender fence.

Enjoy your new look, girl.

Rikki

[Stephanie Stevens]

Thank you all for your thoughtful responses to my original observations and question.

I am particularly drawn to Noeleena's heartfelt and insightful reply about herself and our perceptions of female beauty. I fortunately live in an area (Bar Harbor, ME) that is very accepting of diversity and where most of us great each other and the several million tourists who visit each year with a warm smile and hello. I love to watch the transformation on the strangers face when they are greeted in such a way. A smile grows and their individual beauty emerges as we share eye contact and acknowledge each others presence in a world that often requires one to divert their eyes from oncoming strangers out of fear.

I may have strayed from the topic but as Noeleena observed about her features, I believe mine to be "masculine" and wonder how make up and a wig will allow Stephanie to have a "female beauty" as opposed to some guy in a dress trying to pass as a girl. As I say this I see I am talking about polar opposites and that Stephanie will find her place, hopefully comfortably, somewhere in between.

I did remember to get the name of the fashion magazine with the cover photo of a "masculine" looking model. It is Porter, a publication that I have never noticed before. I do wonder if some fashion trends are blurring the gender boundaries.

As a final note I got my first skirt, an A-line knit number that falls just below the knees. It is not flashy but I love having it on. I also ordered my first wig from the Breastforms store, I am so excited, I hope it looks ok I will keep you posted.

Thank you all again it does help to know that you all are out there. Hugs, Stephanie

[Stephanie Stevens]

Hello Rikki,
Thanks I had just gotten a very close haircut and shave, knowing that I was going to shave it off for Stephanie. I have been telling people that I just wanted to see what I really looked like without the beard. I don't think I mentioned this but after the first shave (a bit bloody), my partner and I went on You tube to find a "How to Shave" video because I could not remember how to do it in terms of which direction you shaved in, with the "grain" or against the "grain". It was very helpful with other tips too and my blood letting is pretty minimal now.

Hugs, Stephanie

[Trudy]

Yes there are masculine looking females as well as feminine looking males. I've been told I fall somewhere in the middle. With a good wig and my make up done I don't think I look too bad, not beautiful by a long shot but for a 63 YO woman not too shabby. To me the biggest give away for most cross dresser is their hands. Generally men have much larger hands with short stubby fingers. My fingers are not that long but with nails donè in a soft color they look longer and thinner. Avoid big rings that draw attention to your hands.

Having lived in California for 35 years and spending a lot of time in the San Fransisco Bay area I saw many girls out there, myself included. I felt comfortable out there just going up to a girl on the street and starting a conversation. Here in the Detroit area people are not as open. I have met a couple of girls in the area mostly at the local watering holes but one I met through this forum. How you approach a girl on the street is a function of your locale's style for lack of a better word. Stephanie I would think inan area like Bar Harbor it would be like SF, just go up and start a conversation. I would start with something like "Cute shoes, where'd you get them?"

[Stephanie Stevens]

Thanks Trudy I appreciate your insights.

Talk about a clash of cultures from San Fransisco to Detroit! You are a brave woman. I hope you have good support and friends in the motor city. I will try your approach when I see a girl who may be a transgender type.

My hands have long fingers but I have used them hard and they show the wear and tare of time. I have not worn a ring since my wife died 14 years ago and I doubt that I will again. Earrings however are a must. I inherited all of my mother's jewelry and she never had pierced ears so I have a nice collection of clasp earrings to play with as well as her necklaces and pins.

I have not had the nerve to ask my partner for help with make up, she is still trying to grasp what is going on with my newly discovered desire for cross dressing. She is tolerating this so far, but is not happy about the cost of Stephanie's new bras, panties and breast forms. I can't imagine she will be happy about my wig and sleep ware that is arriving soon. Hugs, Stephanie

[Anthony Simon]

I have not had the nerve to ask my partner for help with make up, she is still trying to grasp what is going on with my newly discovered desire for cross dressing. She is tolerating this so far, but is not happy about the cost of Stephanie's new bras, panties and breast forms. I can't imagine she will be happy about my wig and sleep ware that is arriving soon.

You had an earlier post in which you described how your partner found it amusing how you wanted to get into your bra when you came home, whereas she wanted to get out of hers. Here she's "not happy".

It sounds as though she may be signalling her disquiet by talking about the cost of your CDIng items rather than the CDing itself.

One rather classic scenario for CDs is to fall into what is known as the "pink fog", where one just feels so great about the CDing that anything seems possible.

[Stephanie Stevens]

Dear Anthony,

I think we are in agreement that what she can accept in principal, as a liberal modern woman, is hard to accept on a gut level. I can understand this but i don't like this cross examination every time a package arrives at the door. This is definitely a work in progress. I have come to the idea that once I can identify styles of tops,skirts, and dresses that I like on the internet I could shop at thrift stores...if I had the courage to do so.

You mentioned the "Pink Fog" of newly identified cross dressers, and I guess that I must fit in that category, I am just loving the sensuality and challenge of becoming Stephanie, my femme self. I think it takes a very brave and creative man to transform himself into his female persona. I am so looking forward to seeing how she will develop over time.

There seems to me a rather theatrical aspect of the art of cross dressing. I am beginning to think that we are in one sense dressing and making ourselves up for an audience. If our costume, makeup, and acting are good enough to pass as a female then we have had a successful outing.

However as I say this I realize that I want to learn how to apply makeup not as an actor but as a woman would. Maybe there is no distinction here, but I do realize that I want to be as lovely as I can be.

Hugs, Stephanie

[Anthony Simon]

Hello Stephanie,

Dear Anthony,

I think we are in agreement that what she can accept in principal, as a liberal modern woman, is hard to accept on a gut level. I can understand this but i don't like this cross examination every time a package arrives at the door. This is definitely a work in progress. I have come to the idea that once I can identify styles of tops,skirts, and dresses that I like on the internet I could shop at thrift stores...if I had the courage to do so.

The gut level vs. the rational. This exists on both sides of the equation. Like there is a very great amount of the CDing which is not, for the majority of us, terribly rational. In one respect, you're quite unusual, in that you've come to it in an intense way relatively late in your life - but, characteristically there is an intensity to the CDing drive which takes it quite beyond rational discussion and makes it hard to manage.

You mentioned the "Pink Fog" of newly identified cross dressers, and I guess that I must fit in that category, I am just loving the sensuality and challenge of becoming Stephanie, my femme self. I think it takes a very brave and creative man to transform himself into his female persona. I am so looking forward to seeing how she will develop over time.

This statement seems pretty pink foggish: "This is all so new to me and I don't know where this new passion will go but that makes it more of an adventure."

The thing is it seems to lack a sense of how the CDing might impact on your partner. And this is very characteristic of the pink fog. It's sort of blocking out of the world around you and concentrating on the CDing, which just feels so wonderful.

It doesn't necessarily have to be new CDs who get it. But it's more problematic - because, like with anything new, you don't have your built up experience to help you around the dangers.

There seems to me a rather theatrical aspect of the art of cross dressing. I am beginning to think that we are in one sense dressing and making ourselves up for an audience. If our costume, makeup, and acting are good enough to pass as a female then we have had a successful outing.

However as I say this I realize that I want to learn how to apply makeup not as an actor but as a woman would. Maybe there is no distinction here, but I do realize that I want to be as lovely as I can be.

In a sense you're saying there's a "female impersonator" side to your CDing. Only you don't want to do it on stage, which would be the characteristic space for it, but by walking about.