Crossdressers-Haven.com

Been a while since i have been on here, simply because have been feeling guilty when i dress up.
I recently gave all my clothes and heels...basically everything fem i own away to charity. A little part of me regrets it, i miss my sexy satin dresses (

Ah a purge, they are great for the charity that you gave to. I have done that a few times. They can be so expensive. I finally learned to accept who I was as a person instead of trying to erase who I was as a person.

kimberlys cd
joe in a skirt

Hi ,

Guilt, Hmmm ,Okay, how do we address this in a way that allows us to see something else is going on , of cause different for each person wether male or female , of cause this is not every one ....just some of us,

For myself this comes to about being imbarrassed about myself as a person, not wether I'm male or female , that's never been an issue what is and has been was not looking like how I am as a female , my maleness is all part of my makeup, being female is also part of that.

being dressed yes well. because I don't feel I look good enough , lovely and nice clothes yes no probs there just well ... I,ll put this in ---for myself ,

I wear my clothes because this is who I am a female and others know who I am so no pretence there , just a normal female can bring her clothes to life , I don't belive I can ,

so guilt then comes in to play wether it should or not , I wonder, am I just fooling others am I impersonating a female , no, yet again it bothers me in some ways, because I'm not complete in all ways a female normaley is, so being one out of every 7000 females who are born with out our womb or other complcastions ,so when you see that , it changes how we see our selfs so should I feel guilty because of how I'm born you can answer that. when your not born complete you ? your self, you look at your self so very hard do youtry to imitate other women in my case no do I try to dress as others do , no, because I am on my own with my difference in being who I am,

I join in with others some 2000 people I'm friends with plus on stage with others at our concerts so am I really part of our group I had the feeling I was not so after some time things changed and I'm very much a member and have responcibiltys that means I belong both as a person and as a normal female in my own right, of cause this is about acceptance and being accepted for who you are.

You know what , its not about what you wear or the clothes its just about who you are as a person ,

Today was no different I'm an intruder in a land far from home and was welcomed as just one of them , we then talked about our selfs and got to know each other so how neat is that ,

As you read this try to understand how we feel as females what we think about how we try to understand just because we are a little different we can just fit in as normal people,

danke = thank you.

...noeleena...

Thanks for the support you both.

Kimberly...you right. It is expensive and iv lost some fantastic dresses because of this. It feels like a never ending circle at times! I have a load of items lined up on ebay awaiting me to make the purchase now but im reluctant. I end up spending a few hundred....the urge is just too much.

Noeleena, problem is i only seem to dress in womens satin clothes and its developed in pantyhose, lipsticks and heels etc and when i do majority of nights im feeling really kinky and horny so ended up having my short time of fun. I guess im addicted to the feel of satin on my body and when it is worn by women. Does that make me fem?? I mean i wearing womens clothes is more comfortable but is this more a sexual addiction?? The desire to be fem for sex?.

Feeling guilt means you think you've done something wrong, the question is what is wrong with what you are doing?

There are no victims, and you are doing what you feel is right at the time. Thus there should be no guilt.

Don't let society dictate how you should feel.

Well IMHO they are nothing but cloths that cover the body, I have been a crossdress for over a half a century and it don't bother me one way or the other .

SalmaX wrote:It feels like a never ending circle at times!

...i only seem to dress in womens satin clothes and its developed in pantyhose, lipsticks and heels etc and when i do majority of nights im feeling really kinky and horny so ended up having my short time of fun....

In as much as it's developed, it's not a circle. A lot of CDs, e.g. me, start off just sexual and it morphs to female self-expression. There's a lot of guilt involved in that sort of sexual aspect - or so it can seem.

I'm not sure that a lot of that is not being the appropriate "man" as defined by society - and I know I still have a lot of conflict about just exactly where the boundary between man and woman should be in me.

Ruby. Its seems you know exactly how i feel. Just so dam hard to resist a good piece of satin wrapped around me.

Ah yes... guilt. Followed by "the purge".

I have had my share of guilt. I've even felt like getting rid of all my fem things a few times, but never did. Just couldn't imagine throwing it all away; I knew that eventually I'd get over my guilt and have to go out and rebuy an entire wardrobe, LOL!

As time passed, I got to know Lexi a lot better. The guilt began to subside, and I was able to accept her. I don't have those guilty feelings anymore, in fact I have come to love and embrace my fem side - and yes... its normal for these feeling to develop, and as far as I can tell, it won't stop.

I think that most of us girls have had feelings of conflict, uncertainty, shame or guilt, but on the bright side, Salma... you can look forward to some new satin dress shopping!!! Chin up and be proud of who you are! Give it some time - the guilt will eventually fade away...

Hi,

As you know I was born in 1947 so was dressed by my Mom in some lovely knitted gowns in cream plus others and i still have a photo of that, later I was dressed by our sunday school teacher for a end of year do , for a mime on stage. nothing out of the normal there. and it was recived for what it was .

When you go back into my history and see what we wore in the 1300 ,s you will find what we wore was accepted by both male and female and some garb was very much the same. go to 1400 to 1700,

what you have now is how people have been brainwashed western thinking into accepting what fashon people wont others to wear = money driven. so a dress quess what many people like our nation Germany plus many others check out their background and look at some of the lovely garb thy wore,

Okay you did say about other aspects yes it can be that way for men , myself the garb or clothes are just that yet it does have an impact on myself more so my garb just not in a sexual way more because its part of how we dressed long ago.

So really have things changed as far as clothes are concerned no its the mind set of people and or the person in how they see the clothes and how that relates to you, would you wear a dress and it not effect you see it as a normal garment that men wore long ago and some still do quite normal in some sociteys and our groups ,


...noeleena...

Guilt followed by the purge, I wish I had a dollar for every time a girl does that. It is not uncommon, I have heard more than one girl tell me of her psychological and emotional struggles leading to the purge followed at some point the regrets. We are who we are. Embrace who you are and don't let society pigeonhole you into their beliefs.

Hello there!

Been a while since last time, but ... yes, here I am again. I entered the forum looking for ansewrs to this, and then I saw this post. thisis exactly what happens to me. I have been through two purges already ... yes very expensive. Not to mention that you add the guilt of throwing money away to the guilt of CDing.

I am having conflict now to do this and enjoy myself, guilt getting in between. I started for the sexual thing as well, but as you mentioned it developed into something else, deeper and more full of questions.

I feel bad when I can not pass completey... I guess this is my inner Tiran!
Also, I do like girls and now and then I make an approach to a girl I like.. then there is a little voice inside me blaming me ..."you are lying to her", but then, I think... "Ok if I ever get in to a relationship, eventually I will tell,... but that is a long process! I wont tell on the first date!!"
I do also feel guilt because so far this is a lonely thing I do, I do not sahre my time in femme with anybody.

bfff... and so it goes with guilt good to be able to read others points of view.

Eloise wrote:...then there is a little voice inside me blaming me ..."you are lying to her".

This is the bit that jumped out at me. I also have had a voice like that. My first analyst called it "the other guy" because it was always pushing me in the wrong direction.

You can have all sorts of voices in your head. I have another one, initially even quieter, which I have come to realize is the voice of "my woman", which is extremely reliable - and gives me better judgement than I have as a man.

If you like girls, you like girls. Same for the CDing. Why deny yourself? OK, you've got a conflict between the two. Doesn't mean it's insoluble.