Crossdressers-Haven.com

I've done tons of research about crossdressing and it's pretty much settled that there is no cure. So I'm wondering if there was a cure would you do it?

20 years ago or so I would have taken the cure faster than light speed. But now that I'm middle aged I actually really do like this part of me, and honestly I wouldn't take the cure even if you paid me.

As a disclaimer when I say cure I'm not trying to say that there is something wrong with how we are, needing a cure so if you're offended by my terminology I do apologize in advance that's not my intent, my intent is discussion on how you feel about how you are and if you could change it would you.

I don't think anyone would be offended, Stephanie! I'm pretty sure we all know what you mean.

I think there was a similar post not long ago, and my answer still remains the same... that would be a loud, resounding NO!

I love this part of me, and there's nothing that I would give it up for... well, maybe one thing. But, I feel so good en femme - why would I purposely want to change that? Just so I can dress 100% in bori... I mean drab guy clothes. Ugh. No thanks.

No, I definitely wouldn't want a "cure". CDing is definitely a "journey", and the further I go on this journey the happier I become. Just my 2c worth.

hugs,
Deb

I know I ask lots of questions and I appreciate the answers. I'm still trying to figure all this out and hearing from those with similar traits is very helpful to me.


Do your feelings ever fluctuate on this or are you at full acceptance?
I have moments that come and go more quickly now where I still feel a tiny bit of the guilt and other negative emotions that used to plague me. I'm assuming that's normal and will continue to happen.

I wouldn't want to be "cured". On the contrary, when I finally stopped feeling guilty about cross-dressing and decided to embrace my girl, much of my life began to make sense. Since then I have discovered much more about my true nature. Yesterday I found an online quiz which asked the question "Can we guess your gender based on the way your brain works?" After answering the questions I got the result "You are 100% female." So, if I need to be cured of anything, perhaps I need to be cured of having a male body? That probably will never happen either as I have read that in the surgery involved only skin is used and it is not possible to re-create the epithelial tissue found in the vagina of a genetic female - so you don't get a real vagina - it is then necessary to dilate the vulva for 30-40 minutes at a time, several times a day for many months to keep it open as the body reacts to the surgery as if it were a wound. The hormone therapy can also be difficult to cope with. I'm not saying nobody should go through with it, or that it is not worthwhile for those who do but these things make me seriously question how badly I could want it.

Hi Penelope may I ask if before you embraced this would you have taken the cure?

No...we cannot change something as basic as who we are. I can remember definitely as far back as the age of 9 desires to sneak over to a house my grandmother rented out next door that was not currently rented...largely a vacant house but with some things left behind in a wardrobe on the back porch...pantie hose! A maturnity dress? A dress this was the point at which the wires crossed I had to strip and try them on and that is where it all began for me. I would never be the same. Growing up I remember some incidents where at an even younger age my sister does not remember but I most definitely do. She stated she had always wanted a sister and I wound up wearing a dress but only for a few minutes before I took it off. Another time I was soaked from washing down the decks on my parent's boat so my mom put an adult t shirt on me which I immediately felt was like wearing a dress in my head...I did not want to walk down the dock and over to the car but she sent me with my sister so that made it better. Another time a cousin was searching through a box of children's clothing at my grandma's house for something to put on me, suppose I had wet pants? Anyway...he pulled this navy blue thing out that turned out to be a girl's Jumper he put over my head and in a falsetto mocked me "My what a pretty little girl" before taking it off and finding a pair of shorts or pants that fit.

Who knows where this comes from but I do believe we are born this way and that incidents in our life just make us aware of that fact. If we weren't we would be appalled and reject it all in disgust but the fact is that we recognize that we prefer and like all of this because part of who we are is feminine, thoroughly identifies with the feminine and once that is brought out there is not turning back we have in common with women and girls the fact that we are too inside at least part of who we are is. The greater part of who I am is masculine, the lesser part feminine.

But I do recognize that we are all unique and I can only speak of what I know about myself.

I think the really sad part for everyone who is like us is that our society and our culture very strongly and forcefully and vociferously rejects who we know that we are and cannot help being. We are forced to live our entire lives facing all of this. We are told we are perverted, told none of this is real that we are sick and need to just stop being who we are as if we can. So...we are forced to choose...we either swim upstream against the current like a salmon...or we keep it all very private and personal and in most cases fearfully hide this from everyone because even our own parents, and family and friends and associates would thoroughly reject that we are who we are inside.

We all know what should happen from the moment this comes out in us is that we should be embraced and reassured especially by our own parents and family. We should just be taken in as this is recognized and we should simply begin to be offered to add feminine clothing options to our wardrobe and appropriate socialization and pronouns if we desire for when we are feeling more on our feminine side.

Now...this would be a controversial viewpoint...and we are not in an ideal world....little boys AND little girls who are like us well at very young ages ... psychiatry can't even accurately say for sure sure there is no way to identify this but if there were...what would be wrong as stated above if little boys and little girls like us were embraced, reassured and offered clothing options added to our wardrobe etc for when they are feeling their alternate gender...little boys could be occasionally seen out playing with little girls all in their dresses, or little girls playing in little boy clothes.... In reality this is probably fanciful but who knows society does evolve and I bet in the future a decade or more from today this might actually be seen!?

Why is it at family get together's, or with friends and at work we are simply not taken in and fully accepted to be ourselves whoever that may be, be we in our fem or masculine mode...yep but Life is what it is. At least I have come this far and am able to be who I am around a few people at home as the occasional woman that I am which is my choice.

You raise an interesting point Stephanie. I know for myself back in those early days I wondered why I was different from the accepted norm and of course thought I was the only one in the world. IMO if we are honest with ourselves that in our early days we would all go for the "cure" you cite. The opportunity to be what was expected of us and be like everyone else. I Know I have talked at length with many transgendered individuals al all levels and we all agree that we accept what we are but we have all questioned "Why me?"

The fact many here say no tells me they are comfortable with who they are and that is wonderful. Still I have to question if at that young age when you discovered you were different didn't you wonder why couldn't you be like all the rest?

Yes when I first discovered I was different I did wish I could be like everyone else.
I have more to say on this and will tonight when I can post using my laptop it's easier than trying to do it on my phone.

I did not ask myself I suppose I was too young and did not recognize or understand it for what it is.

In fact, I am 59 years old and it took me most of those years to figure everything out so that I am finally where I am. That is horrible and due to many different reasons but most all of us are never offered nor do we realize for ourselves and if we do would ourselves be too fearful and embarrassed to even go talk to a psychiatrist or to any kind of counselor about any of this who could help us.

I am glad I finally have it all figured out but took me years on my own without any help...I am lucky I have an inquiring mind that wanted to know. I got the answers I wanted and am satisfied with and have been since... proceeding on with the rest of my life happily.

A cure!? Even if there were one now I am not sure what I would opt for...Suppose I would take it and be a happily cis gendered male but as there is no cure I am trilled and happy to be who I am and to be Anne sometimes.

I suppose we should not wish for what may be but should be happy and satisfied with life as it is.

Stephanie M wrote:Hi Penelope may I ask if before you embraced this would you have taken the cure?

It's a bit hard to be certain but I think I would have questioned whether any harm was being done. I think I probably would not have

Penelope Carol wrote:

Stephanie M wrote:Hi Penelope may I ask if before you embraced this would you have taken the cure?

It's a bit hard to be certain but I think I would have questioned whether any harm was being done. I think I probably would not have

Thanks for answering for some reason I was specifically curious about how you felt on that.

If Someone offered me a cure when I was 20 I would have taken it.
Mainly because I grew up with a cross dressing father. And I don't know if it was teenage rebellion or what but I despised what he did and wanted to be nothing like him in that regard.

Now at 44 I've actually been able to talk to him about it and about me. Today I think it's not so bad being like him. I realized it wasn't the cross dressing that I despised it was the non normalcy that bothered me and only after maturing did I realize that we all are different and the hell with what society thinks. And today I quit repressing what is inside of me and I feel free.

I understand exactly what you are asking Stephanie. In the past I to would have jumped at any cure available.

However today, I have come to accept what is happening and really enjoy the feelings of freedom, relaxation, and utopia that Requal brings into my life.

Anne Bonny wrote:
Who knows where this comes from but I do believe we are born this way and that incidents in our life just make us aware of that fact. If we weren't we would be appalled and reject it all in disgust but the fact is that we recognize that we prefer and like all of this because part of who we are is feminine, thoroughly identifies with the feminine and once that is brought out there is not turning back we have in common with women and girls the fact that we are too inside at least part of who we are is. The greater part of who I am is masculine, the lesser part feminine.


.

It may have something to do with genetics, my dad is like us, and he said he had an uncle who liked to dress feminine back in the 50s and 60s.

Requal Jo wrote:I understand exactly what you are asking Stephanie. In the past I to would have jumped at any cure available.

However today, I have come to accept what is happening and really enjoy the feelings of freedom, relaxation, and utopia that Requal brings into my life.

Me too sister.