Crossdressers-Haven.com

I do know...We have been different inside where no one can see it all of our lives...but when we desire to dress outwardly so that it matches this part of who we are on the inside this is where society flips out. Instantly based on our appearance alone it is assumed ..."gay pervert" though sexuality is a completely separate component of all of this from our gender. What I cannot stand is we are judged for who we are inside of our selves, once they know who we are they jump all over us insisting we cannot be who we are...and they discover this when we reveal it in our appearance. Never had any problem with me or who I am or have been all of my life...I am a fine intelligent and nice man....Find this out I am a disgusting gay pervert and completely rejected as the lowest of the low and rejected as slime. It's not right is it? Yet we are expected to keep up appearances because if anyone figures us out we are just done for ...friends, family, employers, society in general.... We are the same people we have always been until suddenly we find all of who we are rejected in disgust. It is not fair but this is the live we are forced to live.

I am at age 59 considering where and how far what is right where will I end up in the end if there is ever really an end point with any of this. I Have come across "a girl for all seasons" Charlie Martin who in my mind is an absolute superstar of the full potential of all that being a trans person is and can be. She is such an inspiration, obviously not poor, extremely positive, and now she is an absolutely flawlessly beautiful woman living the absolute life of anybody's dreams, speaks French, is on the European race car circuit as a fun and thrilling hobby, She is an Engineer, she snow skis probably in the alps from the looks of it, she surfs and goes on television and blogs. her voice and appearance she is such an unbelievable inspiration to me but she has me very confused about who I am as a person....So much so that I question...would I one day like to have laser hair removal...go on hormones....have a sex reassignment? https://youtu.be/Mi2nn4Umzpk" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

There is another woman I follow Dara Hoffman-Fox who is a licensed gender therapist with a wealth of knowledge and loads of wisdom and experience though she appears to be 30's-40's. Fortunately for myself she posted the first part of a 3 part series for those in their 60's who are questioning if they should transition or not and how to sort it out, recommending of course we should find a gender therapist in our area to help us to sort it out which could take some time but she in the mean while outlines some lines of thought for us to consider in the mean time to help us to figure out what exactly is right for ourselves...based on who we really are, what we value in our lives to this point so....it is really timely. Just posted a day or two ago so it is recent. https://youtu.be/JxSJxD8rTxQ" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Anyway...as I have been living much more in the female and have been finding myself telling myself "YES!!!!" Finding it so thrilling and wonderful to be able finally to settle in and be Anne...to be after a lifetime to simply and finely to just be!!! It is so wonderful and I too have my interests Sailing, skim boarding, my sports car...I have my masters and and and RN...I am also a person in my own right!!! Who just happens to be as I am...So...at age 60 where am I going? further but short of all the way? is that the right thing for me...I do love women...but also being one at the same time! I do go to the male but I yearn to be all of who I can be. definitely ears pierced, Laser hair removal face and what little there is on my chest...ok...and after that...hormones are a possibility...SRS...then it gets iffy and I do not know but I will find what is right for me should I find a partner once my wife is gone then what will the in's and out of our sexual relationship look like and there are women out there for all of us....

Oh well....just felt the need to state where this gender expansive/fluid person is at 59 years...

Thing is we can be, are able to be who we are rather than who others want or expect for us to be...No one has the right to force us to pretend to be something we are not and have never been so that they are happy, so that they are comfortable, so that they can define who we are to meet their need...that is flat out wrong.

Any input, thoughts yourself? opinions? discussion? *shurgs*

Just a random thought, something that I've been considering lately.

What does gender mean when one is past the reproductive years? I'm not planning to have any more kids, so what does that signify for expectations about my gender? Probably I will never be involved in any intimate relationships with anyone, so expectations of a hypothetical partner are irrelevant.

Is there any particular reason now, why it matters if I'm thought to be this or that?

Hi

Gender has no meaning to me and never has from age 10, and I knew what I was .plus later on I knew I would not be able to bear my own children because of being born with out my womb ,I would have loved to dearly have been able to at the least have had just one child of my own ,

A female who cant have her own child was looked down on and thought whats wrong with us why not are you different or some other detail yes well for us there is, so unless your a female most men don't know what its like and for some don't care, ether,

I would like to be involved in a... real... intimate relationship and with who a male or female well from where I stand it seems and as I see it who with males wont sex and that's it , and (NSA ) = no strings attached,

How your seen does matter to men if your not attractive pretty sexy or beautifull you wont be on their list of interest, let alone be asked out for a date,

Yes there is many differences between men and women in how men see things and details and how we see things I know what im looking for , your last line is importaint well for myself it is because I know how men see us and look at us and what they wont so from others gender is importaint

Is it for myself ,if im looking for a partner maybe that... male... is out of my reach .

Oh Well ,I,m judged because im differernt and I,m judged because I don't measure up to how men see me ,

I have experance in many fields know what im doing and about work hard very involved friendly to others get on well with others .......Yet none of that matters one bit, I just don't measure up to mens standard , so I just tag along so far behind .

I think to myself what if a guy turned around and saw me and waited for me to catch up I,d be scared witless and think........ oh no...... what do you wont, think I,d go and hide some where quick.

Like I said gender has no meaning to me yet for others ....Oh Yes It Does.....

oh,,,, and by the way the being judged happened yet again 2 weeks ago,

...noeleena...

Gender is an extremely complicated concept that is more than our genetic sex Check out the Wikipedia definition and the many different perspectives on it and what it means...it will blow your mind.

Definition of gender identity
: a person's internal sense of being male, female, some combination of male and female, or neither male nor female <Facebook provides more than 50 options beyond “male” and “female” for users to describe their gender identity, from “gender questioning” and “neither” to “androgynous.” — The Chicago Tribune>

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Obviously for myself Gender is separate from physical sex alone but not entirely from sexuality what I prefer and desire in terms of expectations and roles and includes how I identify internally, this "internal sense", not as a matter of my will but what I perceive to be true about who I am inside and it includes emotional sensitivity, the roles I am inclined to prefer in relationships and in life, and in terms of certain interests...I am gender expansive/fluid so some of all of this leans in a masculine direction as well.

We have been subjected based on our physical sex to arbitrary conditioning and expectations placed on us with consequences employed to shame and embarrass us should we cross the gender boundaries based on our physical sex. In some cases physical punishment was also employed to reinforce to us this boundary as being fixed by our sex alone. In life our path was set for us based on our physical sex but in our case because our gender is expansive this arbitrary perhaps well meaning conditioning has actually led to psychological injury or damage because our gender did not fit an arbitrary sorting out based on our physical sex alone... they were trying to drive our square gender into a round gender hole so to speak.

Obviously we wrack out brains on all of this because we know inside we are different there are things about who we are inside that just do not fit...there goes that internal sense again.