Stress Needs Help

[Gelinda]

Ok I will say I am sorry now before I start.

I am a little drunk right now which is something that I have not done in 12 or 13 years but pressure has build up to explosion time or death time.

I am wondering if a network of friends can be made that in times of need that some one can call some one else. I use this board as a place of need and venting to get things out of my mind and to deal with them for help in dealing with things that I do not understand

As I have posted in anyother place on the board I am dealing with things in my personal life that I am having a hard time with. I need some one to talk too. I have had a lot of help here from special people for me mainly Stef, Mandy, and Deborah but from so many more of you than you will never know.

Is there a way to do a emergency and I mean emergency phone support help here. ???????????????

Gelinda

[CJ]

Hi all,

Gelinda,

I read of your difficulties and the hard times your family is going through, elsewhere on the board. I'm sure I'm not alone here in wanting you to know that you and yours are in our thoughts and in our hearts.

I imagine that whatever support you may find here is mostly of the online variety. Do you have access to a chat program (Yahoo, MSN)? Perhaps you've built closer relationships with some of your sisters here who'd be willing to talk over the phone? I know that can be a difficult thing for many, given the need for privacy. Are there maybe any crisis hotlines in your area where you'd be able to to talk (indeed, to vent) to a sympathetic ear? Don't let the pressure build up too much, Gee; reach out, especially to those who may be in a position to offer you the support you need.

Please take care of yourself, Gelinda. Feel free to PM me if you want.

Love,
CJ

[Gelinda]

Thanks CJ

I do not know what to do anymore, I do not trust very easily and I trust some on this site and you are one. Typing is ok but sometimes the need for a ear is more. I cant talk to my wife about it anymore as she is hurting too and we talk alot about it. But as with my drinking to day after so many years without I nneed something I do not know what anymore. I cant even pray anymore as that is a problem also.

thanks GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeee

[Anita]

Hi Gelinda--
I'm dealing with a surgery in the family and some issues of my own, but they aren't putting me under the immediate pressure you're under. I've not read your other post, but time is short tonight, and I'm just responding to the urgency in this one.

If you can't pray, then act as you would if you suddenly found yourself unable to swim--you have to float. Something has jammed up the transmission, and you can't force it to work. Pay strict attention to the here and now--each breath, and only what is happening right NOW. This is meditation, but it's a good port in a storm.

My prayer for you is that I want only the best for everyone involved in the situation. You'll get my intent to help, but I would have no idea what is best for you. You may not know either, at this point.
with love,
Anita

[Rebecca]

Hi Gelinda,

I don't really know much about your situation, though every best wish goes out to you and your family at this time. Anita is right, concentrate on the immediate dilemma, slowing yourself down, it's like a panic attack when the pressure builds up and boils over. At the time it's very frightening, though when you get past it, you can begin to function once more.
Please keep us posted, I know everyone is with you

Love
Rebecca xxx

[Tea Cake]

Hi Gelinda,

I hope this msg finds you WELL!

I'm impressed that you didn't drink for twelve or thirteen years.

this past spring when I was dealing with anxiety and depression and I was very much alone

I drank a bottle of vodka and started getting into a pretty extreme mood swing

My moods had been very low for weeks and weeks by that time

before that I hadn't drank much---not more than a drink or two every now and then.

I'm sad to remember that I took a gulp of newly prescribed anti-depressants too.

It was a horrible night.

It was still very cold up north here.

I remember laying still as the cold seeped in through the walls

I couldn't keep the fire going.

I had never been so low and desperate in my whole life.

There's not a specific point to me telling this to you except:

I know what its like to tip the boat over.

Don't be too hard onyourself right now.

You can get back on that wagon

and you proved you can stay there for twelve or thirteen years.

THat is YOU. It is a sign of your wisdom and I find that admirable.



Gelinda I know that no one else can really share that snakey-headspace with you. It's hard to feel that vulnerable---and low----but you can STEER through this.

Please Forgive yourself-----

I can only add what I remember from one of Lorna's posts.

That depression was like anger without enthusiasm

I wish for anger nver to creep up on you!

may your way lighten!!!!

and that if prayer was important to you before-----

and you had your own way of praying

Then pray for a break from those feelings.

and for a bright spot ---so you can catch your breath and remind yourself of your strengths and ALL of the GREAT things that you've done RIGHT.

And We're here praying for you too.

----------best wishes Gee


------------------------8) Tea-cake

[Virginia]

My dear Gelinda,
Please read what our sisters have said, they are right. You need to try and slow way down. Do something that you enjoy, fishing, hiking, whatever. Just step back and try and see the big picture. If Cd'ing is really the cause of all your misery, perhaps you should just let it go for a while, try not to think about it, don't come here for a while, do something else, throw yourself into your job. Take your wife on a vacation to somewhere you have never been. Nothing is worth being miserable about. Life is to short not to enjoy yourself and if your not enjoying your venture into crossdressing and it is really the cause of all your discomfort, take a break from it somehow. Perhaps counselling may be the way to go for a while. None of us here are professional counselors ( I don't think) but you evidently need to talk to someone with those types of skills. There may be more going on than you are aware. One of the things I do is make a list. It has to be honest and from the heart, but list what you want to accomplish, how to get there, the good and the bad, pros and cons then decide whether or not it is what you want.
Just take your time. Don't know if we can help beyond giving advice. but should you decide to stay with us, we will do what we can to help.
Love and Prayers,
Deborah

[Gelinda]

Thanks to all the ladies on this board

I am deeply sorry for the other night. I am a bad drunk and have that problem the reason for not drinking for 14+ years.

I am ok not the best in the world. I was home over the weekend in texas and that helped a lot. I am dead on my feet tonight as I drove back last not. Arrived a 6am and sleep one hour and went to work but have taken a short nap and am ok.

I am dealing with my kids, my daughter is fine after the surgery but my son is going to be 100% disabled we think with his feet. I saw my slice of heaven (granddaughter) for 4 days so I am ok.

Thanks for being here. It is not the CDing that is the problem it is being so far from my kids that are hurting and can't do anything about it.

\Thanks a million for being here all of you ladies. Gee.

[CJ]

Hi all,

Glad to see you're feeling a bit better, Gee. I wish you strength and courage for the road ahead.

Love,
CJ

[Gelinda]

Thanks CJ One day at a time to tired tonight to think anyway Thanks. Gee.

[Lorna]

Hi Gelinda,

I am sorry I wasn't around when you originally posted that first message. I know what it's like to go thru a crisis and then feel like you're all alone...

But I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better, and I hope that your family is doing better as well. I also sent you a PM.

*hugs*

~ Lorna