Crossdressers-Haven.com

A thought...
Why should I stress out about being who I am? I feel feminine inside, I am in a pretty dress with some lite make-up and jewelry.... Isn't it a huge waste of time for us to consciously think anything about ourselves but that I look fine, and that I am just who I am? I mean do I have to give any thought to being anything other that who I happen to be? No. I am fully satisfied with myself, and with my look and how I am feeling on the inside which just happens to be leaning to the feminine part of who I am. Should I stop to think "I am a woman...or I am kind of like a woman...or that I am a man who is kind of like a woman...?"  NO! I think our thinking should be just as I have stated, Hey! I am enjoying where I am ...I am in something pretty and that I like, and I am enjoying how I look this is just who I happen to be. I feel satisfied and confident this is just who I happen to be and this is exactly as people need to accept me as they would anyone else. 

Should we think of changing if someone comes...Why? this is where I happen to be at this time.

Being genderfluid I flow back and forth. But is it really cool to realize that my feminine self is every bit as valid and as normal as my masculine self...Isn't that a really cool thought!? Hey girl! Let's go with it, yeah, lets flaunt it if we wish to. My female side is just my other side....my male side is that side and Anne is on this side... I am just who I am!!! cool!!!

Should you stress out over who you are? IMO no. I know for years I thought and stressed about who and what exactly I was. Am I TG or am I just CD or where do I fall in life? I know once I came to accept who I was I found an inner peace that had been missing in my life. Then and only then can you come to peace with who you are.

Requal is on the inside to Anne. She is feminine when out and hidden within the muscular body when not out.

It does take some time so unfortunate for some it takes so long. That inner peace is growing inside of who I am we have no choice but to feel at peace with who we are. I believe it is happening. I think when I am finally able to be fully open outwardly to everyone and able to go everywhere as openly as I am when I am out masculine then all of this will be complete.

Hi ,

I was born a female , i live life as a normal female , and I,ll Die as I was Born, a Female .

Wether i,m feminine or not does not matter i dont conform to how others wont me to be , because i,m my own person i dress as please,s myself ,i dont follow fashion , I follow my People in how they were , Prussians in how they looked and dress style is more befitting for myself or in simple terms my German side. we are part of.

I have more issue with todays styles if you really wont to know yes they are nice yet its not really who i am or how i prefer to look, any way i do compromise and thats life , no drama ,

Do i need to think, who i am , no that was sorted out at age 10 and i knew gender was and still is a non word for me as it does not apply , i,m happy within my self in my over all in personality, aspects of my self and general health, how i am in body shape and look , of cause i have some male aspects about my looks and that to is part of my makeup and makes me the person i am and that is what people see and know ...........I......Dont........ need to change .

I have grown as a person i have grown as a female and i have grown as a woman none of those can be taken from who i am , i,m a very mature 70 year old who has known life at the coal face of hard knocks who has been made strong with life thrown at my feet how i reacted has helped in forming this clay into what i am now. yes i have flaws and parts missing and i,m aware this too has shaped me both in body and mind,

did i get it right,

I,,,,,, wont,,,,,, answer that as i know i,m too flawed to answer i,ll leave that to others and they can Judge me
My life is what it is

From here on , I,ll do what i know i can,,,,,,, and...... with others around me ,

As i,v said I,ll Die as i came a female .

...noeleena...

If I can simply just live and be..... Bad bad habit to constantly think about it all just get up or simple move over into wherever I happen to be and stop focusing on it all.

That is a really profound thing...stop obsessing and focusing and analyzing turning it all over and over and over in the mind. Gaw! I don't know if I am capable of that it is a difficult habit to break!...just get on with it all and on with the just living and being!

Good thought, thanks!

We tend to worry about others accepting us, not ostracizing us (not just cders or tgers but people of many ideals and minds) that we bottle ourselves up to keep the supposed serenity of these groups acceptance even if it make many of us bothered or miserable.

I know it, I live it. I am of a vintage where for the cding and greater tging community it was growing up of times where society did not know it, if they did, many did not accept it and many thought it was wrong or an illness. Yes, even today many in society are the same as back when, but it's not as bad or secretive today. Open discussions happen now. This said the stigma of our cding/tging community's differences are still high. So we still hide, we still lock who we are away from others, often family, friends, co-workers and such. The ingrown desire to fit into your community/society is strong for any person(s) who by individuality are say more different than are those in our social slush box of normalcy. Again I see it in myself. My middle age life still has me hide my cding. I am often jealous of others who are more open about their cding and of those who found themselves to as transgendered to make the change to live fully the gender they are inside be they MTF or FTM.

So our battle begins with each of us individually, we each are on our own plain in life, not all of us can easily be OUT AND PROUD! The walls we built around ourselves and our alternative life can be high and thick. Looking for others to break our walls down is likely going to be a long wait. I may not be able to tear down my own walls in part or in full, others are stronger to be able to. Those who can break their walls down may find many of their outside world to help to remove these walls, or sadly for some they may find others want to keep them up, it's different for each of us.

Simple fact is we first project our fears onto others, we envision negative responses to us as cders or tgers. We fear the hurt of said responses so we often hide. As much as I'm in fear of showing the greater world my cding side, I oddly believe most who I'd care to show my cding side to would not be hateful or reject me. Some may be a bit hateful or more so confused, but I feel most will at minimum be ambivalent, or see me as a curiosity and a discussion point, some likely talking about me behind my back. BUT! the fear of not knowing each persons' views of me if seeing me as a cder SCARES ME! and as such I project this fear onto them and lock myself behind my own walls.

Again as to my views on society, I have said this elsewhere, regardless of reason or who you are, one cannot impose acceptance from others and society onto each and any of us especially if we are of a minority. We can demand our governments and its authorities lawfully enforce tolerance of any and all of us if we act ourselves lawfully. Acceptance forced is phony acceptance. Acceptance earned is true acceptance.

Western developed society has all this to enforce tolerance under the law in place. The law protects all peoples. It may at times fail in being properly enacted but that is why recourse and remedies to fix its failures exist in the west. Simply this if you are in our case on this forum a cder or a tger living in any western world nation you have it best, not perfect, but best. Probably 75% of the world is nonwestern in values, justice and liberty and this part of the world would treat any of you and me as degenerates, sick and/or criminal. As such would likely persecute, abuse/torture, imprison or kill us, THIS IS A SAD FACT!

I thank God I live in a western developed nation and I live to keep out any and all nonwestern and backwards values and ideas from polluting our great society. Not all values and cultures are the same nor deserve equal respect. We live in a flawed society even in the western developed world, but a society that has and can change as it's built on progressive and more just in values platform. When it fails we can fix it.

We do not have to bend our great western world knee to the host of backwards and bigoted nonwestern societies. Our society shall not have to apologize for our western values. We shall demonstrate our generally just and progressive society to these backwards societies in hopes they see the light. Some of these more backwards societies do in time see the light even if it's just a glimmer to them and others will do so in time. Sadly I believe many of these nonwestern societies will not see the light of general progressiveness and likely never will. To those we must be vigilant and watch out for them as they are dangerous. We must accept that they of their choice will still keep falling behind our western world values.

We and not just the cding, tging communities but all people have enough on our western developed society's plate to keep making sure we advance and support a general level of justice and progressive values in our society while not imparting push back and anger from those in our society who may/are wary of many of our intents and motives. Education, discussion and time will be our allies. Militancy and imposition without debate and discussion will be our downfall, be it cd, tg, LGB or a host of other minority, social and activist ideals. "You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar."