Crossdressers-Haven.com

I was reading a post here on CD activities and events and the thread got me to thinking. I got to wondering how many girls here are still in the closet for whatever reason and how many are out. Also when you are out are you more of a support group or club girl or more mainstream. Just curious and if you desire tell us all why.

For myself I am post op almost 11 years now so obviously I am mainstream. I came out to my mother at 15 and as I blossomed and transitioned I was totally mainstream. Yes I have attended support groups and the like but I was fulltime for over 6 years before I ever went to a CD club.

I am in the closet as I am only out to immediate family and a handful of other people. When I get out and about, yea support groups and cd friendly clubs are fun and get to interact with like minded people. But for me the real action is main stream. Going shopping for home necessities, groceries, out to lunch, and yea a bit of femme clothes shopping. Also like going to plays, museums, concerts, walking down along the river walk in the summer time. The summer I was working on the house, about once a week or so Kim made a trip to the lumber/hardware store. Get a lot more help in a skirt and heels. For me being mainstream is just more real. I get to do just everyday normal things that I could also do in male more, but times times a gurl just has to get out and about and do them instead.

kimberly cd
joe in a skirt

In the last year or so I have gone out in public dressed up in female clothing and I worked in a women's clothing store even when I wasn't dressed in female clothing. Females don't really feel that threatned by an overly feminine gay guy so transitioning to wearing females clothes and passing as a female at work was rather flawless!

I guess I'm mainstream, though I'm not exactly sure how that term applies to a CDer.

I wear women's styles pretty much exclusively everywhere, though I don't consider myself a woman and I'm pretty sure no one else does either. That doesn't seem mainstream to me, but I'm not in the closet either, and I wouldn't say that I'm struggling to define myself.
Mostly I've stopped thinking about the question of what category I fit, because it's not a useful question or application of my time. I have more pressing questions to think about, like whether I can afford to go shoe shopping this weekend, what I want to wear tomorrow, what excuse I can think of to wear that last dress I bought to go somewhere - you know, important stuff

Hi.

| am a female and still get tagged as a trans person sometime.s as a male
, and in some case,s a male who dress.s or crossdresser. how I,m perceived can vary quite a lot.

yet strange as, I have written to some 50 men in the US , UK, and Australia yes a few here in new Zealand ,
yet it,s those in the US yes rednecks who have little issue,s about some one like myself when I explain I was born with out my womb and organs , they are so much more accepting and has been really fantastic , and lovely.


The guys treat me very well and would be more than interested in meeting me . a few have and will.

So in some ways my thoughts on acceptance years ago was quite different some 50 years well 60 years ago

Now I have paved the way for others because of being so well known and I had lovely reports of that from people I have known for years,

For those of us who are female born with abnormalitys and those who do have their womb and organs are not allways seen as female so we do face in some case,s rejection, our hormones are not allways 100 % right some are mismatched , mine have been.
.

So in answer to your ? do we hide away some I know don't go out when theres many people around ,
do we become members of large groups some wont.
and do we live a normal life some again no.

I,v been talking with some one I know and is facing some major issues and really does ...NEED... corrective surgerys , born with abnormalitys. different from my own,

In many ways I,m all out regardless , a member of large groups with a membership of 2000 members ,

Do they care I,m different no as I have talked with every one even if they don't know I,m different they ether ask others or myself . and if like many don't care at all because they can accept others .

.....For Who They Are. ......and don't need to know the what ifs and or are you really different .

It comes down to...... Live Life..... and ...Get on With It.....

...noeleena...

Been a lot of years for me but once I stepped out of the closet this girl never went back! I did back in my early years go to the clubs and support meetings but those were rare back then, for the group in my area it was a once a month affair. Even before I transitioned I always found mainstream activities more satisfying and I am sure I was "made" many times but I had few problems even back then which was the late 1970's.

I know where that path led me but know that is not for all. I also am aware everyone's circumstances are different and would never encourage anyone to step out of their comfort zone.

You can find me deep in the darkest corner of the darkest closet, I guess you would say. For all the many reasons that I have talked about with others in the chatroom. Not totally unhappy there, but would love to share with wifey before I die.

Rikki

I'm in the closet peeking out. Happy with just my wife and her girlfriend knowing. Would like to go out enfemme someday. I'd like to meet other cd'ers but don't think it will happen around here. Not that I meet many new people around here anyway.

Yes, Requal is in the closet. My wife knows and understands but still remains a little apprehensive when Requal appears. Only dress in the privacy of my own home.

One day Requal may acquire the confidence and courage to get out of her comfort zone and visit the big wide world.

As usual, I don't neatly fit into one of those three categories. I have been out and about dressed. I was also threatened with violence by a neighbor while dressed inside our own apartment. I also live in a very backwards state. I also got really fat. So, I don't go out anymore.

My community is allegedly pretty accepting, but I've seen no evidence firsthand. So, while I've been "out" to my wife of 41+ years (19 months longer than we've been married), I am pretty much back in the closet, except at home.

Now that both of us are basically forced into early retirement, my days of pushing limits are over, because we are always together. Good thing we like each other so much!

Hugs,

Bernice

Mainstream yes; in the sense that I live my life putting on makeup every morning and getting my nails done twice a month, but not necessarily in the sense that I’m presenting as a common “woman”.

Yes, often I’m unmistakably seen as a woman, and on those occasions, it’s intentional. However, other times I present in a fashion which the younger generations refer to as genderqueer. Then again, sometimes my appearance is androgynous, and onlookers may feel as though they need a closer look to categorize my gender status. Either way, I enjoy pretty clothing, attempt to implement style into my outfits, and always take the time to coordinate.

For some, (even those who cross-dress) see the world as a population of two genders, male and female. That’s been a common theme in our Western civilizations for many years now, but I’m pleased to see it changing. Keeping in mind, biological sex, sexual orientation, and gender are three different things, now we have common terms such as genderqueer, genderfluid and bigender being spoken regularly. All these terms, and other trendy verbiage denote a nonbinary status. (BTW, “nonbinary” is now going to be used on DMV forms here in California, yeah.)

I simply mention this because I’m not transgender, neither do I consider myself 100% male, or 100% female, rather I have strong characteristics in both categories. I’ve learned to express myself in an proper, respectable, and non threatening way, which makes life that much more enjoyable.

Back to the main question, lol: Mainstream yes… girl, often.

Absolutely, I am simply who I would have been had I been born with a female body which finds me dressing in the female version of what my male self wears...kinda sorta.... What I wear most definitely fits in with what other women in my area of the country tend to wear every day...Yes I seek to fit right in as a woman and had I been lucky enough to have been born with a female body I would simply be wearing whatever is typical and appropriate.

Hi Amanda,

I am out and about, mean stream, almost 3 months post-op. I was in the closet until somewhere in the last half of 2014. Completely out at Christmas 2014 at work. I started on this forum as a "crossdresser" until I new I was comfortable enough and decided to transition. (Which was rather quickly) Started visiting a support group and mental therapy in the first half of 2015, not sure which one first.

I was on self medication since 01-01-'15. I choose that day, First day (01), new life (01), 15 was my age reversed (51). Started real HRT 9 months later.

Went trough the whole process of transition and I am in my final chapter. I don't think I will ever do FFS, but my main goals are to finish electrolysis (gee... there are so many hairs ) and work on my voice therapy.

Hugs, Erin

I was a mainstream girl long before I ever discovered the bars and clubs. Growing up with 3 older sisters and Mom I was discovered young and often. I was about 15 when they finally decided if that is what I wanted so be it but I was going to be a girl as much as I could. I think they thought it would "cure" me. I was out and about then and was into my early 20's before I went to a bar catering to us girls. Looking back it helped me then and especially now. As for the closet I have read it here in several posts, Closets are for clothes not people!

Closeted to everyone. My wife is aware of my lingerie fetish as she calls it but not that I want to be en femme out in public,