Hi girls,
I filed for divorce today. Not much I can add to that.
Love always,
Elizabeth
Beginning of the end
Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn
-
Marda
- Miss Golden Goddess
- Posts: 553
- Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2004 8:09 pm
- Location: Vancouver Canada
Hearts To You
Elizabeth
I don't think we've met but I *have* enjoyed your exchanges.
My heart goes out to you - I've traveled the path you just mentioned many years ago.
It seems to me that except for the "normal" human emotions you are experiencing, you *are* on firm ground within yourself - you have a *great* humor about you and a strong mind to go with your good looks, even if you don't feel all of that right now.
Be kind to yourself as you carry on - it's OK to cry and to grieve about this major life event.
I believe you'll land on your feet.
Count on us to be here for you.
Love & Hugs / Marda
I don't think we've met but I *have* enjoyed your exchanges.
My heart goes out to you - I've traveled the path you just mentioned many years ago.
It seems to me that except for the "normal" human emotions you are experiencing, you *are* on firm ground within yourself - you have a *great* humor about you and a strong mind to go with your good looks, even if you don't feel all of that right now.
Be kind to yourself as you carry on - it's OK to cry and to grieve about this major life event.
I believe you'll land on your feet.
Count on us to be here for you.
Love & Hugs / Marda
~ Some drink at the fountain of knowledge - Others just gargle ~
-
Rebecca
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 336
- Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2004 5:16 am
- Location: North-East England
Hi Elizabeth,
Life does have it's twists and turns, part of the story we write for ourselves. There is a sense of reality and unreality at times like these, I know all your sisters here are only 0's and 1's on a screen, but I know exactly where their thoughts and feelings will be right now. probably a few of us have been through divorce, wer'e with you every step of the way.
Love
Rebecca xxx
Life does have it's twists and turns, part of the story we write for ourselves. There is a sense of reality and unreality at times like these, I know all your sisters here are only 0's and 1's on a screen, but I know exactly where their thoughts and feelings will be right now. probably a few of us have been through divorce, wer'e with you every step of the way.
Love
Rebecca xxx
Be good, Be safe, Be happy.
-
Beauty
- Retired Site Administrator
- Posts: 3662
- Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:30 am
- Location: Northern VA
- Contact:
-
Kathy
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 433
- Joined: Sun May 30, 2004 2:38 pm
- Contact:
Hi Elizabeth,
As one who has been where you are, I did not look at it as "the beginning of the end" but, rather, a new beginning.
While there will be difficult times, divorces are rarely easy, it signals the beginning of a new freedom for you and your wife. You will both be free to enjoy your lives as you choose.
While it is regretable that a relationship should come to such a conclusion, there are times when that is simply the best solution for all involved.
I will not grieve the death of what you have described as a bad situation but will join you in celebration of what you have also described as the beginning of a new found freedom.
As one who has been where you are, I did not look at it as "the beginning of the end" but, rather, a new beginning.
While there will be difficult times, divorces are rarely easy, it signals the beginning of a new freedom for you and your wife. You will both be free to enjoy your lives as you choose.
While it is regretable that a relationship should come to such a conclusion, there are times when that is simply the best solution for all involved.
I will not grieve the death of what you have described as a bad situation but will join you in celebration of what you have also described as the beginning of a new found freedom.
Whatever you accomplish in life is a manifestation not so much of what you do, as of what you believe deeply within yourself that you deserve. - Les Brown
-
NicoleL
- Miss Crystal Goddess
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Mon Jun 21, 2004 11:29 pm
- Location: San Francisco bay area
Hi Elizabeth,
Like you, I was the one that filed for divorce when my marriage ended 5 years ago. There was more than a bit of a relief in ending it, rather than watching it continue to deteriorate, and I’m sure that both my ex and I are better off now.
It was a difficult time, and it lasted longer than it should have, but I found out I was much stronger than I thought I was. Kathy is right; as well as an end, this is also a beginning of a new freedom for you. Hugs luv.-Nicole
Like you, I was the one that filed for divorce when my marriage ended 5 years ago. There was more than a bit of a relief in ending it, rather than watching it continue to deteriorate, and I’m sure that both my ex and I are better off now.
It was a difficult time, and it lasted longer than it should have, but I found out I was much stronger than I thought I was. Kathy is right; as well as an end, this is also a beginning of a new freedom for you. Hugs luv.-Nicole
Dive beneath the obvious.
-
Elizabeth
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1878
- Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 3:02 am
Hi girls,
It's midnight here and the cops are on thier way. Yesterday before I filed for divorce, my wife threw a stand up fan at me, when I pushed it away, she picked it up and threw it at me again. She then went over to my Les Paul which as sitting on it's stand and knocked it to th ground. This is a special Les Paul. It is a 1977 with a maple neck and ebony fingerboard, as well as a natural finish rock maple top and mohagany back. All natural finish. I have never seen one like it again.
I have begged her not to do this the hard way, but after not having her arrested yesterday, because my daughter begged me not to, she starts telling me she hired a lawyer, she is going to lie, and I am "going down". She has been off her anti-depressants for over a year and a half, coincedentally how long we have been having problems. Because her temper has increased, and her actions have become unpredictable, I really have no choice. After attacking me and knocking my guitar over, she started screaming at me that she wished I was dead, and that she hoped I would die, and "I want you dead".
My guitars are sacriledge, I never in my wildest dreams thought she would do something like that. She knows it is my intention to give each of my children one of my guitars. She always swore she would never hurt my guitars. She also stole all my pictures of her, some in lingerie and some in the buff and burned them.
I have begged her not to do this the hard way, but she will not heed. She is not in her right mind. This is not the woman I married and had kids with. I don't know who she is.
So she is probably going to jail for domestic violence. Tomorrow I am going to court to get a restraining order against her. I am really bummed out that my kids have to see this happen, but there seems to be no other way.
Love always,
Elizabeth
It's midnight here and the cops are on thier way. Yesterday before I filed for divorce, my wife threw a stand up fan at me, when I pushed it away, she picked it up and threw it at me again. She then went over to my Les Paul which as sitting on it's stand and knocked it to th ground. This is a special Les Paul. It is a 1977 with a maple neck and ebony fingerboard, as well as a natural finish rock maple top and mohagany back. All natural finish. I have never seen one like it again.
I have begged her not to do this the hard way, but after not having her arrested yesterday, because my daughter begged me not to, she starts telling me she hired a lawyer, she is going to lie, and I am "going down". She has been off her anti-depressants for over a year and a half, coincedentally how long we have been having problems. Because her temper has increased, and her actions have become unpredictable, I really have no choice. After attacking me and knocking my guitar over, she started screaming at me that she wished I was dead, and that she hoped I would die, and "I want you dead".
My guitars are sacriledge, I never in my wildest dreams thought she would do something like that. She knows it is my intention to give each of my children one of my guitars. She always swore she would never hurt my guitars. She also stole all my pictures of her, some in lingerie and some in the buff and burned them.
I have begged her not to do this the hard way, but she will not heed. She is not in her right mind. This is not the woman I married and had kids with. I don't know who she is.
So she is probably going to jail for domestic violence. Tomorrow I am going to court to get a restraining order against her. I am really bummed out that my kids have to see this happen, but there seems to be no other way.
Love always,
Elizabeth
-
Rebecca
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 336
- Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2004 5:16 am
- Location: North-East England
Hi Elizabeth,
You really are amazing. You tell us that terrible story and then come back to apologise for being rude. Come off it girl, there ain't nothing to apologise for.
I have a couple of special guitars myself, I know exactly how you must feel, people might think it's a bit materialistic considering what's going on, but it's like guitars have a personality of their own. And they don't hurt you or let you down unless a string snaps of course.
It's hard to know what to advise or say with what's been going on, it does sound as though she is annoyed at you for showing independance and that takes her power over you away from her.
It might sound harsh bringing the cops in, but at least it sets a precident early on that you won't sink to that level.
Make sure you take some time out to slow down, your head must be racing at a time like this.
My thoughts are with you, Elizabeth, take care
Love
Rebecca xxx
You really are amazing. You tell us that terrible story and then come back to apologise for being rude. Come off it girl, there ain't nothing to apologise for.
I have a couple of special guitars myself, I know exactly how you must feel, people might think it's a bit materialistic considering what's going on, but it's like guitars have a personality of their own. And they don't hurt you or let you down unless a string snaps of course.
It's hard to know what to advise or say with what's been going on, it does sound as though she is annoyed at you for showing independance and that takes her power over you away from her.
It might sound harsh bringing the cops in, but at least it sets a precident early on that you won't sink to that level.
Make sure you take some time out to slow down, your head must be racing at a time like this.
My thoughts are with you, Elizabeth, take care
Love
Rebecca xxx
Be good, Be safe, Be happy.
-
CJ
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 3562
- Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2003 11:12 pm
- Location: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Hi all,
Elizabeth,
I'm sorry to hear you're all going through such a rough time.
Never having gone through a rocky separation myself, I don't really know what to say except to say that you're very much in my thoughts and that I hope you'll manage to keep your wits about you by not giving in to any desire to hurt her in return. That would only make things worse, I think. Remember that she's obviously hurting, too, right now and, although this won't help to lessen your own pain any, it might serve to put things in perspective right now, during this difficult period, rather than years from now. This, for the sake of your children. If she had destroyed your guitars, you'd still be left with the most important thing you can give your kids: your love. This is something your wife will never be able to take away from you.
Again, I wish you peace, courage, and strength. We love you too, you know.
Love,
CJ
Elizabeth,
I'm sorry to hear you're all going through such a rough time.
Never having gone through a rocky separation myself, I don't really know what to say except to say that you're very much in my thoughts and that I hope you'll manage to keep your wits about you by not giving in to any desire to hurt her in return. That would only make things worse, I think. Remember that she's obviously hurting, too, right now and, although this won't help to lessen your own pain any, it might serve to put things in perspective right now, during this difficult period, rather than years from now. This, for the sake of your children. If she had destroyed your guitars, you'd still be left with the most important thing you can give your kids: your love. This is something your wife will never be able to take away from you.Again, I wish you peace, courage, and strength. We love you too, you know.
Love,
CJ
-
Elizabeth
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1878
- Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 3:02 am
CJ,
I would never hurt anyone, but particularly not her. I do still love her, and probably always will. She is the mother of my children.
The cops finally showed up at 4:00 am, I told them I did not want to press charges. I am not going to do this tit for tat. I will find another way. I will not be reduced to what she has become. I will rise above this, and do my best to prevent any more trauma to my kids than they have already had.
Love always,
Elizabeth
I would never hurt anyone, but particularly not her. I do still love her, and probably always will. She is the mother of my children.
The cops finally showed up at 4:00 am, I told them I did not want to press charges. I am not going to do this tit for tat. I will find another way. I will not be reduced to what she has become. I will rise above this, and do my best to prevent any more trauma to my kids than they have already had.
Love always,
Elizabeth
-
Loretta Ann
- Permanently Banned
- Posts: 2199
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:30 pm
- Location: Vancouver, Canada
-
Virginia
- Goddess of the Universe
- Posts: 5543
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:06 pm
- Location: Strange Magic Hill
Elizabeth,
I have had the good fortune of reading your posts from "way back!" You have been through some life experiences that would have ruined most of us!! Honey, you are one amazing individual!!!! You are hopefully, finding out that not only are you a very forgiving and loving person, you have enough intestinal fortitude for three people. You will get through this, land on your high heels, maintain the love and respect of your children and ours for that matter. I need not tell you that the children are all important and you need only keep them positive toward their mother. That will pay untold dividends for you, them and her later in life. Their respect for you for not teaching them the "other side" of their mother and letting them find out for themselves will be your saving grace in the future.
For this I speak from experience.
We love you, wish only the best for you and your family in this and "You go Girl!!"
Love,
Deborah
I have had the good fortune of reading your posts from "way back!" You have been through some life experiences that would have ruined most of us!! Honey, you are one amazing individual!!!! You are hopefully, finding out that not only are you a very forgiving and loving person, you have enough intestinal fortitude for three people. You will get through this, land on your high heels, maintain the love and respect of your children and ours for that matter. I need not tell you that the children are all important and you need only keep them positive toward their mother. That will pay untold dividends for you, them and her later in life. Their respect for you for not teaching them the "other side" of their mother and letting them find out for themselves will be your saving grace in the future.
For this I speak from experience.
We love you, wish only the best for you and your family in this and "You go Girl!!"
Love,
Deborah
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!