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Coming out at work

Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2004 1:32 am
by Calina_Leigh
Self Removed

Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2004 6:27 am
by Amelie-Laveau
I have worked a few different jobs in my life, for the most part I didn't really care for the people I worked with. I didn't really talk much to them.
Some jobs if I didn't like the co-workers I would tell just to bother them. I looked like a punk most of my life, the people on the jobs could see that. So if I told them I crossdressed they would think that would be an improvement in my looks. I relly didn't get along with the people I worked with to tell them. To me it was none of their bussiness what I did.

Love Amelie

Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2004 7:35 am
by Beauty
Hi Calina,

I haven't come out at work, but I believe a few people have here. The only one that I know definitely has is CJ. So I think she'll be able to answer these questions really well from real life experience. :)

Beauty

Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2004 9:51 am
by CJ
Hi all,

Calina,

First, though I know you've been here for a few days already, I want to welcome you to the forum. 8) I've read your posts; I certainly hope that things will eventually turn out well for you and yours. 8)

Coming out to colleagues isn't easy because, like with a family member, the relationship you have with a colleague is a necessary one (up to a point), in that, you cannot choose to not see or not deal with that person. The context is such that you must have contact with this individual. You risk putting him or her in a tough spot when you reveal something about yourself others are uncomfortable with and would rather not have known about you. They have no "escape" route. So, you need to figure out if, on the one hand, this is something they really need to know about you, and, on the other, if this is something they'll be apt to accept.

In my own case (or saga, if you wish :P ), I felt it was necessary because the work we do requires that we be as much ourselves as we humanly can (other than "You have to be crazy to work here," we have another saying our boss is fond of: "We--our selves, our personalities--are our own best work tools."). Given this, I could no longer handle the tension I felt inside by continuing to hide this most fundamental aspect of who I am. To this day, only one of my colleagues seems to have a bit of a problem with my being transgendered. I don't know for sure because he's uncommunicative about his feelings, especially on this matter. He's just pulled away from me recently. I can live with that, given the more or less individual nature of the work I do; I only see this colleague at the weekly meeting on Thursday mornings.

If you're curious about my "coming out to colleagues" history, you can find the whole soap opera (or is it a sitcom?) here: http://crossdressers-forum.com/forums/v ... .php?t=318

I wish you the best of luck, Calina, if you decide to go down the road of self-revelation. Just be mindful of the potholes and the bumps. 8)

Love,
CJ