Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hi all,

There appears to be two trains of thought among cross-dressers.

THE TERM CROSS-DRESSER HERE IS MEANT TO INCLUDE ALL OF US.

Those who feel there is more value to defining who they/we are to the Red neck society that can not accept us, in the hope that we can change them.

And those who feel there is more value to enriching our lives due to the fact that we are a cross-dresser.

And possibly there are those who feel that both is required, but the intent of this thread is to see where one places the most value, and why?

My position is that while there is probably value in both positions, I have said OK rednecks, religious legalists etcetera, have it your way if you insist. But in spite of you I will enjoy my gift, and let my life be enriched as a result of accepting this as a gift, and I refuse to let the time I decide to spend on attempting to enlighten you interfere with that.

I think you already know how I feel about society. I don't look for society to understand me or accept me, I just want them to leave me alone, free from harrasment. Other people in society don't have to explain themselves, and I shouldn't either. NO offence, but I personaly think people who go to a football game in 20 degree temps are crazy, but I don't ask them to explain their actions, It's something they want to do and should be able to without hassels.

I think my motto for goths would be- I want to be seen by all, but just leave me alone.

I just want to live

Love Amelie

Hi Darlene,

I placed my vote on the enrichment of my life. I believe that just by being who I am and interacting with others in "normal" day to day activities, I am showing them that there is really nothing different about me except, maybe, what I may be wearing at the time. In that way, I am "educating" society but I am not doing so overtly.

By enriching my own life, I am better able to interact with others. So, by just being me, perhaps I can have an enriching effect on another.

I value education - and I value my feminine side. Perhaps in my old age I have become cynical - but I have met too many people who simply cannot be educated. So, since we only go around once in life - I plan to enjoy it. I've been lucky that I took the time to learn to ride a motorcycle, learn to fly, become a ham radio operator, take en-femme self-portraits when I was almost at my ideal weight, and become a semi-skilled seamstress. Not that I will avoid an opportunity to try to educate others, but given the choice exactly as you posed it - I'm playing Carpe Diem!

Hugs,

Bernice

Self Removed

I think I'm just worried about my own life right now, like Amelie said I would rather just get on with my life doing what I want to do without any bother from society .

Sophie xx

Excellent topic! What would I do??

In all honesty I am torn between the two. But based on my share of hardships this year, and as much as I'd like to pour more energy into educating the masses, I would really have to cover my own butt right now, and make sure that I am at a level where I am content enough with myself and my life situation before I can begin to worry about what other people think of me.

I value both. They are equally important to me. To enrich my life further is to have some acceptance from a society that has at least been offered the education, as I already feel more comfortable in my femme self and would prefer to be female full time any way. Although I am yet to make that step. I have made up my mind about who I am and where I am going to go with my feelings and self belief. Now for the outside world to be educated in a manner that allows them to make up their own minds and not just be one of the prejudiced sheep that is society itself.

I wanted to choose both, because educating society would have an enriching effect not only on my life, but other cross dressers too.

Hi Darlene,

Darlene wrote:

Hi all,

There appears to be two trains of thought among cross-dressers.

THE TERM CROSS-DRESSER HERE IS MEANT TO INCLUDE ALL OF US.

Those who feel there is more value to defining who they/we are to the Red neck society that can not accept us, in the hope that we can change them.

And those who feel there is more value to enriching our lives due to the fact that we are a cross-dresser.

I chose the option of enriching ones own life. I know this may come as a surprise to you, because I have been and continue to be one of the advocates of teaching society.

The reason is simple. I can not feel fulfilled as a transgendered person while not being able to go out into society as the person I truely am. Yesterday I was at the checkout at the grocery store and the Manager was checking me out. I asked him if I was his first crossdresser of the day. He laughed and said I was.

Then he told me that another crossdresser had been in, but not in his line. I started giving him the basics, we are not gay for the most part, many if not most are married. We don't know why we are like this, etc. etc.

He then told me that the first time I was in dressed, that people(employees) only commented after I left the store. He said it was the usual "did you see that?" kind of stuff. But subsequently no one had commented again. He said that he didn't think it was that big of a deal.

The point being, I go to that store all the time. If I have to get undressed and put on boy clothes everytime I need something, I can not fill enriched. However, teaching the manager of a large grocery store chain what to tell his employees is enriching. I guess I have always enjoyed sharing my experience with others.

So for me, I guess part of feeling enriched as a human being and a crossdresser, I need to tell people about me, about us. Being accepted at the places I frequent is enriching to me in the sense that acceptance is a basic human need.

I hope that was not too confusing to understand. But really I am all about me, I don't care about society at large, except to the extent that it affects me and my family, which now includes all of you.

Love always,
Elizabeth

I'd sy both are equal.

Howdy

I went with Other, because helping to educate society enriches my life

*Hugs & Love*

Conversely, I also feel enriched by the education I receive at the hands of others. I'm just not sure how (or where) I could draw a line between the two. They go together "like horse and carriage."

Love,
CJ

Hi all.
with CJ and Jasmine. In some ways, education is the harder path, and it will not be the path chosen for any still firmly in the closet. But educating others and being educated on the attitudes and needs of others, is enriching to the self.

Love,

Well ladies....Let me first thank you all for your replies.

Then let me convey the empathy I have for those of you who have a need to educate in order to be enriched.

I believe this is directly influenced by who you are, in reference to what you need to do in order to get your needs met.

Speaking for myself (although I suspect that there are others who feel the same way) I believe your journey is more difficult than mine.

I believe it is easier for me to find enrichment than it is for some others.

And that is some thing I have learned from you all here on this forum.

Again Thank You.