Crossdressers-Haven.com

I am a cd that was brought up in church for most of my growing up years. As a teenager, after my parents divorced, church was no longer a part of my life.
I also have been crossdressing since I was about 9 yrs old.
I married at 20 yrs old and we had 2 kids. Typical couple that worked hard, raising a family etc, had no church life. I did reveal my cd ing to my wife. She "put up with it" when ever I pressed the issue, but never really approved. When eventually divorced when I was 27. CD ing was never mentioned as part of the reason and I really don't think it was a major factor at all in the divorce. There were some other issues dealing with her health (depression) that were much more difficult for us to overcome.
So, at 27 I was single again, but began to deal with my personal problems (the divorce etc), with alcohol and drugs. No excuses, that is just where I was then. I remarried 2 yrs later and the drinking and such was becoming a major problem. I did tell my wife abut my crossdressing before we married and she accepted it, but was not thrilled.
When I was 31 I was at a place of despair and knew that my life must change.
I began to seek a way to change and soon went to a drug and alcohol rehab clinic and began a road to recovery from the addictions that had taken over much of my life. During that same time I was ernestly seeking to find some spiritual direction and once again began going to church.
My wife and I together have been involved and committed to our church now for over 20 yrs and love what we do. We are both involved in leadership roles and are very committed to the church and plan to continue.
Over the years, my crossdressing has continued with the same difficulties the many of us experience. Guilt, shame, hiding, purging. You know the story. It has not been discussed nor shared with my wife for at least 15 to 18 yrs. My dressing has been kept to private times or whenever I might be traveling.
Now being in my 50's I really feel the need to re-open the dialogue with my wife and expect that I will do so in the near future.
I also for many years have dealt with the inner conflict that I feel about a life of hypocrisy that comes from being a "man of faith" and at the same time knowing that some of the things that I do would be considered unacceptable behavior for someone in the church, especially a leader.
I am in a protestant chuch that would be considered to be a very conservative church with a belief in the innerancy of scripture, etc.
I am personally convinced that the things that I have been taught about God, Jesus, the Bible are right and true and I am not willing to seperate myself from those things.
Now the big question: I am interested to know if and how other CD'ers have dealt with this type of issue in their life. How do you balance in your own heart and mind the question of living a Godly life and allowing things to be a part of your life that may at the least seem questionable?
Please do not respond in manners that are condemning, riduculing or otherwise out of order.
I truly want to know how others who count them selves as Christians have reconciled these matters and found that place of peace in their own heart.
A crossdresser with a cross,
Robin Femme

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Hi Robin.

I am a Christian and would be glad to respond to your Question, but due to past friction here concerning religious topics, I am not willing to do that here.

May I suggest.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tg-christians/

I am a member there, and there are others there who would be more than glad to share with you.

you can believe and percieve the Bible in your own light...i notice how you said "everything you've been taught", why don't you read up and formulate your own beliefs from the scriptures, everyone takes it different, which is why there are so many religions out there, and all of them focus around the Bible...

the thing with organized religion is...they make you feel like if you believe something different than them, then you're completely wrong, and what they preach is the only way to live. You may not fall into this, but don't let yourself just mindlessly follow, because some preacher said this, or some other person said this, they have their own flaws too...


i could go on forever on this...but i'll stop there...for now at least.

Hey Robin,
~
Don't pay any attention to me ... I'm only a humble Christian
I quit going to the malls and started shopping direct from the factory
Since I started asking God for His Guidance, in Jesus name, things between us are fine

Love / Marda

^that's all it has to be.

Hi Robin, put your heart at ease. I am still and as long as I can remember a church going person. Not to start a conflick but Jesus still loves you even as a CD'er. Carol Ann

Robin,

Please allow me to explain my position crossdressing and the church.

First and foremost I am also a Christian. I’m not one of those “in your face, flaunt it, tote my bible everywhere I go, and quote scripture to anybody that will listen” type of Christians. One’s personal relationship with God is actually a very quiet, personal, and most reverend one and it’s different for each individual. I too wrestled with the possible conflict between religion and crossdressing for a lot of my years and I did a lot of praying about it. I asked a lot of questions in those prayers too, like why was I born a crossdresser? (and yes we are BORN that way) What was I suppose to do about it? Why did this have to happen to me? Over a long period of time I came to the realization that it’s actually a ‘gift’ of sorts. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that it’s a very strange ‘gift’, but hear me out on how I came to this conclusion.

My opinion is that God, in His wisdom, does not make any errors. People are born every day with physical and medical problems and many would claim that a merciful God wouldn’t allow this to happen. However, He has also seen fit to provide doctors and professional people who are skilled in their selected fields to treat these people. I look at it like He has given these people opportunities to use the gifts and skills He’s given them to HIS glory and benefit. Some are those who are in need and some are those who can fulfill that need. Sort of a ‘balance’ you might say.

OK, on the presumption that He doesn’t make any errors, He also doesn’t make any junk either, and that brings me to the issues of crossdressing. Without a doubt, crossdressers are BORN – it’s not something that they simply decide they want to do. This means that they have no choice in the matter any more than they do the color of their eyes or hair. So there must be some reason why this happens. For a lot of men it’s the vehicle that allows them to better understand and appreciate “the fairer sex”, to some it’s a way to drain the tensions of daily life. But for some are other purposes. Since a great number of these individuals often have difficulty in accepting the fact that they ARE crossdressers, there are many who carry around unnecessary guilt and shame about it.

Now, among those of us who are CDs, some have come to understand and accept the fact that we were given this gift to be productive with it. What we are to do is to search and find the reasons we were given this gift and then use it in a manner that’s pleasing to the One who gave it to us. Years of research and reading has taught me that the reason I had this gift bestowed upon me was to help others understand it as best I could and to therefore remove the anxieties that some experience from being a crossdresser. And this help isn’t directed only at the CD himself, but also to his wife, girlfriend, of family members who have their own set of problems in accepting it. But even with the information I’ve accrued about it over the years I still have my own unique problem in the form of a wife who is totally intolerant of it in any shape, form or fashion. I’ve attributed that to my own personal ‘trials and tribulations’ since I have to keep it mainly secretive as I continue to go ahead and help others.

Had I not been born a crossdresser in all probability I would have been just like the rest of the uneducated masses and not been able to understand it the way that I do. But the fact remains that I WAS born CD and will remain that way until the day I die. So in my efforts to fulfill what I’ve determined is my ‘mission’ I was guided to create my web site as a method to let those who are looking for down-to-earth factual information about it FIND that information and understand that they were not cursed by crossdressing, but rather given a view of life that isn’t available to the common people. It’s unfortunate that so many who profess to be Christians don’t actually practice what they preach, but it’s a reality that they are just that way. And that also includes those of other faiths also.

I hope that I’ve not rambled along here too much in trying to answer your questions, and I hope that you’ve gotten something out of what I’ve tried to say.

In closing:
John: 7:24: Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
Luke: 6:37: Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:

Dixie Darling
http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

Dixie Darling, very well put, Carol Ann

This is a good website: http://members.aol.com/gnlnews/index1.html

This one too http://www.gendertree.com/

Anne