Does Dressing Equal Feeling Like A Woman?

[Ginny]

Well said Gaby,

I have dressed in female clothes for almost fifty years, I have yet to feel like a woman.

To be honest I'm very selective as there are many aspects of being a woman I would not want to experience. Like childbirth for one.

Welcome to the forum.

Kerri

so why do we do it then?

[Kerri]

Hey Ginny,



I dont know the answer to that. But I do know that being dressed in feminine clothes satifies my desire to wear feminine clothes and to express my feminine side.

Can I be a feminine male? I think I can. I am not a masculine male thats for sure!

When I was a young child I used to observe my dad, dressed in his working clothes. A Black or Dark Navy three piece suit. A shirt and tie and black shoes. I used to think dad you look really drab, I don't want to wear clothes like that when I grow up.

When I was in my early teens, my elder sisters would try on each others clothes, and say "Do you think this suits me?" I would give an honest answer Yes or No and comment maybe on the colour not toning quite right. I always got told "Youve got good colour perception for a boy."

So I grew up liking colour and detesting drab. I also grew up liking pretty and light and detesting plain and dark. I grew up into a world where my sister clothes looked good, and my fathers clothes looked bad.

It made me feel good to wear a pretty dress. I wore make-up from age 10 onwards. I wear perfume as often as I can. BUT I still dont feel like a woman. I dont envy women, except for one thing, their ability to dress as they please, wherever they are.

On reflection what does feeling like a woman Feel Like.

I'd like to hear your comments on this debate.

hugs

Kerri

[Estefania]

Hi Kerry, and nice meeting you.

Ginny... There is not a simple answer to your question. But, is it that important? And also, forget the "we" part. As unique as we are, we all have different motivations (and goals/satisfactions) related to our crossdressing. What motivates me may not motivate you, and viceversa.

However, if you still want to know why you do it... you can only find that answer within your self. And remember that it is not the same finding out why you dress now, and finding out why you started dressing in the first place. As adults, each and every time we dress is a concious choice. Deep down, we dress because we want to. Why do you want to dress? Maybe it makes you feel relaxed, maybe it excites you, maybe it makes you feel complete, etc, etc. You may even believe that you dress because you have to, because you need to. Maybe that's how you feel about your dressing now. But doesn't mean you will always feel the same way about it. We live and we learn, change, evolve.

Whatever your personal reasons to CD... you and only you must find the importance it should have in your own life, and how to find a balance.

Kerry...

"Feeling like a woman". This has been the topic many times before. All I can say is that all I can feel is like myself. Do I "feel like a man"? How does it feel to be a man? Can we really explain that to anybody? Can a woman really explain how does it feel to be one? No, in my personal opinion.

I agree with you. We can feel "feminine", because femininity is more a societal value than a gender value. We can feel pretty, feel sexy, etc. Values associated to what we can define as being feminine. But that doesn't take us closer to "feeling like a woman". If one doesn't start being a woman (a GG, or even a TS) then you will never be one. Also, the thought about "Feeling more of a woman than a woman" just because we may wear more feminine clothes, makeup, etc, is ridiculous.

To the extreme: Dressing up and having sex with a man doesn't make anybody who is not already a woman become one. The popular TG fantasy line of "He show me how it is to be a woman" is baloney. (Again, in my opinion)

Regards,
Gaby

[Ginny]

I think I do it to substitute for the ideal woman whom I am missing (when she is apart from me) or as a substitutue when I have no ideal woman in my life.
I sometimes think I would like to be that woman, other times it's just nice to share my space with a lovely warm smooth body covered in slinky lingerie.
Lingerie is a big turn-on for me. Probably rooted in childhood (in the 50s) when lingerie was secret and naughty but relatively accessible (in Mum's drawers), but any knowledge of woman's anatomy was an unreachable dream, except in line drawings in technical books, which offered no titillation at all. So lingerie = perfect womanhood.
The same must be the case for the new generation, to some extent, because they have been blitzed with lingerie ads all their conscious lives.
Outer clothes hold absolutely no interest for me. The most important element of lingerie is tactile, and soft stretchy figure hugging fabrics work best.

[Rachel Ann]

When I first started CDing years ago it was mostly a sexual fetish.

As the years went on (with several long gaps), I became more aware of my anima and her place in my life and consciousness - see http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepage ... /anima.htm

Now my primary motive in CDing is to trigger bringing my anima out and getting closer to her, manifesting more feminine characteristics when it is helpful to do so. Meditation also helps.

The sexual appeal is not gone, it is just no longer the main event.

Well, that's me anyway.

[Chantelle]

Great thread going here. I have never put on a firefighters uniform 'cuz I do not want to experience that role (however small part that would be). But, I do want to experience femininity (my interpretation of femininity) even though most women would likely say that it is not very glamorous reality. I am fortunate to be able to experience the aspects of femininity in which I am interested.

I like CDing because it allows me to attach feelings to my clothing and also to be creative in how I express myself. Though very well dressed, my SO is far more practical in how she dresses but she still does the "critical spot check" for body flaws EVERY MORNING!!

[Loretta Ann]

Responding to the question;
So why do we do it then?

Very simply to be who I am, which happens to be nether Male or Female, as defined by the boxes society has created. For me there is nothing more to it than that.

[Candice K]

I need to feel like I am a woman. For some reason there is this insatiable desire a strong need to be feminine. If I had a choice I would be a very pretty woman for the rest of my life, but I know that probably will never happen.

So for now the feel and look of being a woman will have to do.

[Elizabeth]

Hi girls,

I don't dress to feel like a woman. I don't think anyone can even define what that means, as previously stated by some of my sisters here.

I dress because it feels right. I really don't know how else to describe it. I know I am a very feminine man, at least in my thoughts. I get along better with women than men. I don't identify with the alpha male.

I have never thought that this whole transgendered thing was about feeling like a woman. I always thought it was about feeling like me. And when I see the spectrum of what makes different people feel good, I begin to understand this has very little to do with feeling like a woman.

I think the desire to look like a woman causes confusion in this regard. It is my belief that the desire to look like a woman is only a manisfestation of the feelings we have to express this part of ourselves that clearly is feminine in nature, and it is one of the easiest ways to do it. I know that I felt like I was a girl on the inside long before I ever put on any girls clothes, and before I went through puberty or became a sexual person. It was a feeling that I was not like other boys, and did not fit in with them. I was more comfortable around girls.

I am sure this rambling does not really clear anything up at all, but I did want to add my two cents worth.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[ElizabethAnn]

first of all you have a beautiful name, Elizabeth.
I agree with everything you said, even though i wear only bra and panties when i dress, even that is not necessary for me to reach into my feminine awareness, it is who i am. that is how i think of myself now.
Elizabeth Ann

[Candice]

you are going to feel how you feel reguardless, when i feel feminine, i put on my clothes to express that, cause if not it gets built up inside...sometimes i dress just to escape everything, and put myself in a new place, and just lay down on the bed and think things out, i feel more calm and collected, even when the most horrible things are going on.

[Sandi]

i dont feel so alone when dressed. ifeel like the woman i would love to have beside me. i,m more in touch with my femme side, and feel like a woman that knows what she wants and where she is going.

[Julie M.]

Ginny,

That's a question that has no one right answer. We each have our own reasons. For me it has been an evolution. When I was very young there was a thrill at being in girl's clothes. It was like wanting a toy or a game so bad then getting it. Only I never tired of it. As I entered into puberty there was a sexual thrill. This stayed with me well into my 20s but started to wane after that.

The first time I fully dressed changed my perspective forever. I knew this was no fetish or phase. This was me. Denial and pressure from family, friends and society forced me to repress these feelings for too long. When it all came to a head last June, I finally had to admit I could no longer fight this feeling. This person inside needed to be let out.

Now when I dress I am at total peace with myself. It's like coming home after being away for too long. You walk into your house and are suddenly filled with feelings of comfort, nostalgia and inner peace. That's what dressing is like for me today. The problem is I spend too much time "on the road" and not enough time "at home". This leaves me homesick most of the time.

When I do finally get all the issues ironed out I expect I will be spending a long time "at home" before I will let myself be "on the road" again.