Crossdressers-Haven.com

As fun as it is to look beautiful, I honestly have to say that FEELING beautiful is more important to me.

I've had nights where I may not have looked my best, but I still felt as sexy as a 25 y.o. GG supermodel! Besides, physical features will fade after time, but feelings will always stay with you.

What about you, girls?

Lorna,

You are so creative! I love the Halloween avatar!

As for your question, Wednesday I got up and got dressed for my session. When I was done I looked in the mirror and saw a woman. She didn't have to be beautiful. What made me feel so wonderful was thinking I looked female, like I could go out in the world and actually pass (I know better though). To me that was beautiful.

Love,
Julie

No question or hesitation here Lorna, Feeling Beautiful, without a doubt.

The need to look beautiful would give others (strangers) too much power over me

Lorna,

I was going to answer "feeling beautiful" but when I thought about it, I realized that looking beautiful is subjective. I do look beautiful to me, and that makes me feel beautiful. So I selected "Looking beautiful makes me feel beautiful" And that is true even when I don't measure up to what maybe others may think is beautiful. That is why whenever I see Elizabeth in the mirror, it always makes me smile. I see me, and I think I am beautiful now, and that makes me feel beautiful.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Obviously it is feeling beautiful That's why I walk around dressred up without makeup on, I don't look like a girl when I'm dressed without makeup but I feel like one so that's all that matters

Sophie xx

I don't look anything like a woman, and it would take more time and money than I have to pull that off. One of the main reasons I dress because it makes me feel attractive. I need that feeling. I am not looking for others to tell me I am pretty, and I am not looking to have people hit on me. I stay at home when dressed and just enjoy the feeling. Although, I would love to go out in public some day. I had a plan to do that this halloween with my SO, but since that has ended, the plan kinda dissolved......maybe someday.

The closest response to the way I feel is Sophie's response. I can see more femme traits that I could before testosterone stopped pumping through my body (unabated), but I'm not sure I know how to answer. I know it's not the 1st or 3rd answer, but I'm not sure it's #2 either.

So I'll just piggy back on what Sophie said and exit stage right.

Great thread Ms. Lorna!!!

Beauty

Only what I can buy makes me feel beautiful. Nature did not give me beauty, and no amount of money could buy it for me. But when I wear a well cut blouse over a well cut skirt or pants, I feel beautiful. That is what matters for me.

Kerri

Howdy Y'all

I have to second Darlene

*Hugs & Love*

I answered "Feeling Beautiful". I dress for the emotional comforability(if that is a word and I spelled it right heh) of it. I know that I could never look as good as Sophie or Beauty but in my mind, I see my self as beautiful and that make me feel good about myself.

Beauty wrote:So I'll just piggy back on what Sophie said and exit stage right.

yayyyyy, I like piggybacks lol I can just imagine giving you a piggyback lol

Sophie xx

Hi,

I second what Elizabeth and Kerry felt. I love the femininity I feel and see in myself when dressed in pretty things. When I look in the mirror, as Elizabeth said, I feel comfortable, pretty, and happy with what and who I am. I feel this way even when not made up completely.

I have had a hard time seeing Darlene's point of view about control and power of others over me or her. The line I was going to write before the last, was that I wished others around me could accept and appreciate the person I am by any label they may assign to me. Then I thought of Darlene. It is a conflict in me that, to often, I still let others decide my belief in my own well being. My mind tells me to build people up, don't tear down. This is what I find here with all of you.

I wonder if maybe my fault lays with giving power to negative people. I have always believed in the connectedness of life and the value of all people. No man is an island, which I have continually thought about since junior high. Darlene, could it be I've misunderstood some of your statements that sounded to me like me, me, me. I care about you a lot. You have been such a great and caring support to me. It seemed a conflict in my mind for a long time combined with the ideas that no one else matters. I think the mistake was mine. It seems so clear now that you have been meaning don't let those that hurt us control us. It seems simple now. Would you please respond to me? Am I on the right path or have I misconstrued again? I am still trying to grow.

Kersten

Hi girls,

I can not help but wonder if we all are not talking about the same thing, regardless of which answer any of us may have chosen.

I have stated many times that I dress in women's clothes because of how it makes me feel. It makes me feel pretty. I believe that feeling pretty is an emotion. I know of no other way to get this feeling other than to dress, or make myself up in such a way that I look pretty. With makeup, nail polish, shaving my body hair off. Things that most men and likely many women, find to be pretty.

It is hard to me to understand how anyone can say that feeling beautiful is more important, and still be as crossdresser, even though I myself have said this many times before. Yes, dressing makes me feel beautiful, but only because the clothes, the makeup, the grooming, all combine so that I can feel beautiful. If it were simply a matter of the material making your body feel better, there are plenty of men's clothes made of these materials. I believe it is the very act of putting on a woman's garment that enables one to express this part of themselves they have no other way to express. So I don't see how feeling beautiful and looking beautiful can not be inextricably linked. If we could just feel beautiful, what need would we have of women's clothes, jewelry, makeup, and mannerisms?

It is my guess that everyone who answered "feeling beautiful" also looks beautiful, at least by thier own defintion, otherwise thier internal needs could not be met. I would also guess that everyone who answered "looking beautiful" also feels beautiful, or thier needs could not be met. Because I beleive the two are entertwined so closely, I do not beleive that they can be separated into preferences.

And that is one girl's opinion.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Hi Elizabeth,

You beought up some very good points. But as for me personally (I'm only speaking just for myself), looking beautiful and feeling beautiful were at one point linked, but oddly enough that is no longer the case.

For example, I no longer put on makeup when I dress at home. (heck, in some cases I'll have a 3-day facial growth, LOL) Yet all I have to do is put on my favorite music, or surf my favorite online forums, or watch a chick flick, or drink a little champagne. And I'll feel like a diva.

I'll also feel beautiful when a stranger gives me a smile, or holds a door open for me, or addresses me in a friendly informal way such as "hon" or "sweetie". Perhaps I may look beautiful to the other individual, but as a very tough self-critic I've had many nights where I fuss over my makeup or say "Why didn't I use more foundation?" I dunno, maybe I'm just a stickler in that respect.

Hi all,

Hmmm... Like Beauty, I'm stumped. I really don't know how to answer this. It's not the "looking" or "feeling" part that has me grinding my gears, it's the "beautiful" part.

If, as the poet said, "beauty is truth and truth beauty; that is all ye know and all ye need to know," then I'd take it upon myself to amend Lorna's original phrasing and ask instead:

What is more important to you?

* Looking true
* Feeling true
* Looking true helps me to feel true

Then I'd answer, "All of the above."

Love,
CJ