HRT - The Beginning

Julie M. · Post by **Julie M.** » Wed Nov 17, 2004 1:59 am

I had my first doctor's appointment today. It was scheduled for 5:00 PM but I didn't see the doctor until 7 PM. I was warned he's the type of person who will spend as much time with his patient as necessary to get them to feel comfortable. So expect to wait, unless you're the first patient.

When he walked in I was wearing women's jeans, top and pantyhose but no makeup or wig. I had on a sweatshirt so I looked pretty much like a guy. I felt nervous because I thought all he did was TS work but I was the only one there. I regretted wearing women's clothes..............until we met.

He asked that I take off my sweatshirt so he could check my blood pressure. Under the sweatshirt I had on a purple 3/4 length sleeved top that was all girl. I just figured, "What the hell, he knows why I'm here!" So I took it off and began rolling up my sleeve so he could wrap the pressure band around my arm. He stopped me and gently pulled the sleeve up and worked out the wrinkles and put the band around my arm with the sleeve under it. It was as if he didn't want to stretch out the top. He was so caring.

He took my blood pressure then asked me some questions about when was the first time I dressed, the first time I wanted to transition, and my dressing as I grew up. Then he took another blood pressure reading. He then checked my breathing and looked down my throat. Then another blood pressure reading. Each time he wrote down the reading. I guessed he wanted to eliminate any blips in the system.

Then he asked several other questions about family health, how the kids are handling this and a lot of other personal questions. I sensed he really cared.

When it was over he told me, "We can do this fast track or slow track, what do you want?" I didn't answer him. I asked him other unimportant questions. It was a delay so as not to seem too anxious. (No I didn't plan to do this, I just felt self conscious acting excited). Then he asked again and again I say, "Fast track."

So he lays out the regimen and then looks at me in the eye and says, "I have been doing this for long enough that I know how a patient will turn out. There's a lot who will never be able to pass." I look at him, waiting for more. He looks at me and says, "You'll do well".

So I told him I could never transition if I looked like a guy and that Deb told me if I did HRT and FFS and.... then he stopped me.

"I doubt you will need much facial surgery. In fact you may not need any at all."

Now I have thought this was a necessity for passing but he's telling me I may not need it? God, I wish!

Okay, I got off the subject.

So here's what I'll be doing,
2 weeks on a low dose
2 weeks twice the first week's doseage
2 weeks three times the first week's doseage
2 weeks four times the first week's doseage

Then I see him again.

One thing I found interesting is the issue of liver damage from hormones. He said he has never had a single patient develop liver damage from HRT. And that's pretty impressive. But he believes that whole liver damage thing is a lot of bunk.

Hayley · Post by **Hayley** » Wed Nov 17, 2004 4:57 am

Wow Julie,

This really is good news. I hope all works out well. I just wish there was a doctor in Darwin Australia, that had the same manner and experience. I am so happy for you. Please keep in touch as I would love to hear how things are going for you. Dream stage one acheived.

Post by **DonnaT** » Wed Nov 17, 2004 8:31 am

Well I think the Dr was right with regard to FFS. Good luck on your journey!

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Wed Nov 17, 2004 11:53 am

Hi Julie--
That is good news. Even if you go on to decide that you'd like to do some facial surgery, it's a very positive that someone is saying it's not a given that you have to do it.

I think I'll ask around my support group about liver damage. I don't have much info on this.
A

Post by **Celia** » Wed Nov 17, 2004 6:50 pm

I'm probably way out of line with this--and if I am, please feel free to ignore this reply--but do you have any doubts about this? At all? Say what you like about a go-the-whole-nine-yards transition--it does, to a great extent, entail the burning of a not-to-minor bridge. Although a part of me says "Cool! I wish I had Julie's clarity and resolve.", another part cautions "Rush slowly.". The caution isn't mine--it's an oft-quoted saying at Ingersoll Gender Center, where I sometimes attend TG support groups, and where, on occasion, the issue of "cheerleading" comes up. Some folks get so swept up in happy talk and the associated euphoria that they don't seriously question their course of action until after it is complete. Among these, the unlucky ones who realize that this was in fact not the right course for them often end up angry with the people who didn't put the question to them and with themselves for not being a lot more critical about the decision.

If someone has already raised for you legitimate doubts that you have struggled with and successfully addressed, then please ignore my post; I wish you the best. I wish you the best regardless.

Yours,
Celia

Julie M. · Post by **Julie M.** » Wed Nov 17, 2004 11:05 pm

Celia,

All of the things you mentioned have been raised and answered. I have no cheerleaders. I have my wife and kids hoping I'm just temporarily insane. I look at life ahead and all the pain that accompanies this decision. I know my entire life will change and it won't be easy. Yes, I have done my homework.

I know my wife and kids will enjoy Julie so much more, if they allow me to stay in their lives, which so far seems very likely. I have already begun to heal. I see things I couldn't see before. I have emotional contact I have never had before. I feel things I have never felt before. And it's all because I finally admitted what has been bothering me all these years.

This decision did not come overnight. It was not made in a moment of hope or joy. It is something I have wanted for over 50 years. I have been planning this all my life, I just never thought I'd actually have the courage to do it.

If you could feel how I felt not two months ago and feel how I feel now, you'd know this is the right decision. It's difficult to explain unless you lived it yourself. It's like trying to explain crossdressing to a non-crossdresser.

Every day I become more and more sure this is the right thing to do. And every day I look at where I was headed and that bolsters my resolve never to return to that again.

Post by **Celia** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 11:34 am

Ok, Julie--it's not as though I could know this sort of thing better than you. Good luck.

Yours,
Celia

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 3:42 pm

Hi Celia--
It takes some courage to post as you did above. You have good intentions, and Julie accepted in that spirit. Thank you both.

Post by **Celia** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 7:00 pm

Thanks, Anita. I probably haven't been following Julie's posts closely enough or I would have known. I simply picked up on a change in direction and pace and just kind of instinctively flashed the yellow light. Fortunately, it appears to have been unnecessary.

Yours,
Celia

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Sat Nov 20, 2004 9:10 am

Hi folks,

I agree with Anita. I celebrate both of you for that incredible exchange that had very difficult questions in it. You are both so classy I'm basically speechless.

I wish you the best always Julie!

Ok, I think I'll just gaze at this thread in awe a little bit more and move on.

Beauty

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Sat Nov 20, 2004 3:54 pm

Hi girls,

I am with Beauty on this one. The open honesty here that not only allows Julie to tell us about these incredible things happening to her, but allows for those of us who care about her to be able to ask her the most personal questions about herself, while we are trying to find ourselves.

What can I say?, I really love this place.

Love always,
Elizabeth