Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hi all,

From reading the posts over the last few months. I have repeatedly come across two statements that have put a question in my mind that I would like some input on.

First statement = I don't like labels, they are not adequate.
Second statement = don't over analyze.

Well then, well well well, What are we doing trying to analyze how much of a woman we really are? Man, woman, male, feminine are all labels and I don't fit any of them? I am just me different than all of you yet with a commmon ground that we have labeled cross-dresser.

Love Darlene.

You know Sis, I will accept the responsibility for "over-analyze" as I know I have used it several times. I guess what I was trying to get across was we are what we are and once we accept it then it is nice to try and understand it, but you reach a point where either it will drive you nuts trying to figure it out or like most of us you accept it (for some of us, as a gift) and just get on with our lives and my second adage, just enjoy your, "Magical, Mystery Tour."
As for the lables, I do not like "crossdresser" I are one, but like you and the rest of the girls here there is a lot more to me than the desire to dress up and look pretty and for me it is not the driving force in me. I do love to dress and have Virginia look pretty, but if I, for some unfathomable reason could not - Virginia would still be me and I would be her. I remember several months ago a rather lengthy discussion on changing the term crossdresser to something else - it was never resolved because it is a label if nothing else, used by "professionals" to categorize "us." And fortunately or unfortunately it is a term that a lot of the general public recognizes. Labels will be forever as a manner of identy - guess we will just have to live with it!
Love ya,
Virginia

Hi Gang

As much as I hate "labeling" people, I have to agree with Virginia though.

Labels will be forever as a manner of identy

I think the problem lies not in the 'label' itself per se, but with how people judge others based on "labels". It is the age old problem of people juding the book by the cover......

I think Shakespeare sums things up nicely with:

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other word would smell as sweet."

*Hugs & Love*

Hi Darlene,

Very good point. I don't know if you notice, but I usually do my best to steer clear of those topics unless someone makes a great point and I'm like, "Whoa.. that's deep." or to do my best to clear up misunderstandings if they get heated.

You know what label I find to be the most consistent that people love on this forum or any other forum. The "I'm not like the rest of you." label or the "I'm the only one who does this" label.

We are all unique, but more than likely there is someone who does one or more of the things we do. I don't love being different. I accept that I'm different enough without trying to be even more isolated. So now when I find myself thinking I'm the only one who does "X" I seek out someone (via internet search or whatever) so that I don't think I'm alone.

Ooops.. Soapbox moment. I didn't realize it until I looked down.

Sorry!!!!

Beauty

We are all unique, but more than likely there is someone who does one or more of the things we do. I don't love being different. I accept that I'm different enough without trying to be even more isolated. So now when I find myself thinking I'm the only one who does "X" I seek out someone (via internet search or whatever) so that I don't think I'm alone

.

That's an interesting statement you have contributed to this thread Beauty. I treasure my uniqueness with the understanding that yes there are those out there that also do this X and others who do that X that is very similar to the way I do my Xes. But I am the only one in this world who does my Xes that are all with in this body that I have been given exactly like I do, and even that changes as time progresses.

I know I am not alone,. Everyone is the same as me different in our uniqueness, yet there is a common ground among some of us, by which we can connect.

When we reach out and try to help someone every day, we feel more engaged with life.

And that is my soap box speech LOL.

Love Darlene.

Human nature is such that labeling and analyzing are two of the things we must do. 'Rock' is a label. 'Food' is a label. 'Person' is a label (which has different meanings for some than it does for others, to our eternal shame as a species!!) Labels are integral to the way we think, the danger comes (esp. in regard to other humans) when we begin to imagine that a label is an item, when we think that by referring to a label we are referring to the thing which is labeled. You can't think about things without attaching labels to them. Be vigilant.

And the process of analysis, breaking a thing down into its component parts in order to better understand how it works or what makes it what it is, is a perennial human gift and the source of many of our accomplishments. Again, there is a great danger in imagining that we can analyze something to the point where we understand all the reality of its being. Even something so simple as a rock lying on the ground holds wonders beyond human comprehension. But if we fail or refuse to analyze, we will be caught in the trap of nonquestioning, where we believe things are how we are told they are without taking the time to really think about them - which leads to bigotry, genocide, and societal diease. It's a fine balance, like everything about life.

Hi girls,

This is a great subject, and I never tire of it. I have previously said in other threads that I don't like labels. I would be a lot happier if we could keep them to a minimum. Like perhaps Human. And I have been reminded that it is important for the medical community to be able to distinguish between us, and therefore labels are necessary.

It is not so much the I hate lables per se, it's that I hate inccorrect lables. I dislike being pigeonholed as being this or that. For instance there are widely held beleifs perpetuated by Hollywood and daytime shock TV that all crossdressers are gay sexual diviants that perform in female inpersonation song and dance shows.

These incorrect lables get attached where they dont' belong. And obviously crossdressing is just one issue. Lables, regardless of their need, seem to invariably be misapplied univerasallly. I am quite certain that there is no group of people, to which a lable as been applied, that someone does not feel pigeonholed.

As far a overanalyzing? I am for sure guilty of this and it probably does not serve any useful purpose. I wish I knew how to stop. It would be better if I could just accept things, and not have to know why. It seems so often, there is no why. Finally accepting my crossdressing, and transgenderedness, were definite cases of both useless overanalyzing, and finally accepting I would never know why.

I guess we use lables to identify things so we can better understand, that which we can not understand.

Love always,
Elizabeth