Poll about Libido

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Thu Dec 18, 2003 8:45 am

Hi there,

Ok, I don't want this thread to become too adult so do your best to talk as if you were going to be talking about this on the Regis & Kelly show.

Soooo, I've been talking to a few CDs in the past few weeks and I wanted to know if this is common among us.

After the "get to know you sex" is over I've found, those who I've talked to, don't maintain a high libido. I don't know if this is the norm. I was just wondering though how most of us here feel.

I dont' have a high libido. I don't feel a HIGH need for sex as much as I do intimacy. I love to cuddle, kiss, or talk everday, but I don't have to be physical all the time to be content. I can have physical relations once a month and be fine.

My desire to have intercourse more is there, but not if I have to initiate it. If my wife initiates sex I don't ever turn her down, but if I'm expected to initiate it well... it's not likely to happen.

She's the kind of woman who believes the man should initiate the physical act. Which equals us not being intimate as much as she'd like to.

On one board I read a flame post from an SO who was very angy about her husband only having sex once a month with her.

Ok, I totally said more that I wanted to.. LOL!

SOs this poll isn't for you.

I would be interested to read a poll from you gals in the SO Only area though.

Thanks. I'm really curious about how this one turns out.

: :idea:

:

Beauty

Anne · Post by **Anne** » Thu Dec 18, 2003 4:57 pm

I'd probably initiate every day if I didn't already know my SO would say no

Charlene · Post by **Charlene** » Thu Dec 18, 2003 6:30 pm

Since I don't have a SO, I remain celibate until I can find a lady who is OK with my CDing.

But that wasn't the question, was it?

I just wanted to ge my 2 cents in.

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Sun Dec 21, 2003 8:27 am

Ok, so there are only two members who have had intimate relations in a lifetime?

Beauty

Shalindra · Post by **Shalindra** » Mon Dec 22, 2003 3:04 am

Your question and your own comments are very indicitive of how i feel myself. I have had a few long term relationships in my life, and what I have often found inmy own experience is that durring the first year of the relationship, things were still new and exciting. Much of the sex that we had was more forming the bond between us and instinctive, and quite franky very fun. It was not until after the first year that the sex drive would diminish. My only relationship that lasted longer than a year and a half was my marriage. This pattern followed true. By the time of oyur wedding, we were down to having sex only once a week. Durring the last 5 years of the marriage , we had sex twice.

I believe that once the bond between two people which is established sexually, is secure, there is a comfort level which sets in, and we begin not to desire sex with the person we are secured with. This does not mean that we are not aroused at all, because I found that I would become aroused by other females, who I found sexually attractive. Myself, I never acted upon these desires while I was married, so I had no sex for a very long time

The sex, actually had become more like a chore to be accomplished, like mowing the lawn. I neither craved it with my wqife or saught to initiate a sexual encounter with her. This made her very angry at times, but after a time, even this passed as she finally gave up. Believe me, I wanted sex, just not with her.

Does this mean a change inyour libido? I do not know really, I think it is more the comfort factor with the person we are with, or more accuratly the rut factor

Cindy Michelle · Post by **Cindy Michelle** » Mon Dec 22, 2003 5:22 am

I have a multi answer.

We've been married 30+ years. I suppressed my cross dressing desires until about 3-4 months ago. Shortly thereafter I told my SO and she is somewhat okay with it to the point that i sometimes wear a night gown to bed.

Before I dressed, and after our first years of marriage, sex was once a month or so. Since dressing, sex is every other day or so. I don't know if this dressing is a short term sexual stimulous, whether I'm weird, or what. But what a change!

Happy holidays, CindyM

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Mon Dec 22, 2003 6:29 am

Hi Cindy,

I'm glad to hear your libido has picked up.

Are you dressed (without being to descriptive) or is it normal relations?

Shalindra,

Did you vote every other day? Because if you agree with me, my question was "after a year of being with someone" and you seemed to say the opposite of what you voted.

Thanks to both of you for answering and posting!

Beauty

Charlene · Post by **Charlene** » Mon Dec 22, 2003 6:57 am

Beauty wrote:Ok, so there are only two members who have had intimate relations in a lifetime?

Beauty

It sure feels like that for me. :|

CJ · Post by CJ » Mon Dec 22, 2003 8:09 am

Hi Beauty,

You want to know about libido in relation to non-CDed sexual relations, but I think that, for many of us, crossdressing still has a very sexual connotation or aspect. As such, it has a direct bearing on libido. For myself (being single at the moment), libido is low, but when I'm with an accepting SO (which has usually been the case in my life) my libido tends to increase when crossdressing is part of our sex life (relations two or three times a week, sometimes once a day) and diminish when it isn't (sexual relations once every ten days or two weeks, sometimes once a month when all was not well between us). I've once actually "gone monkish" (no sex of any kind at all--I mean none) for as long as a year and a half!

:|

Of course, I've had to channel those energies elsewhere, and I did.

Love,
CJ

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Mon Dec 22, 2003 8:36 am

Charlene wrote:
Beauty wrote:Ok, so there are only two members who have had intimate relations in a lifetime?

Beauty
It sure feels like that for me. :|

:: hug ::

Beauty

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Mon Dec 22, 2003 8:51 am

CJ wrote:Hi Beauty,

You want to know about libido in relation to non-CDed sexual relations, but I think that, for many of us, crossdressing still has a very sexual connotation or aspect. As such, it has a direct bearing on libido. For myself (being single at the moment), libido is low, but when I'm with an accepting SO (which has usually been the case in my life) my libido tends to increase when crossdressing is part of our sex life (relations two or three times a week, sometimes once a day) and diminish when it isn't (sexual relations once every ten days or two weeks, sometimes once a month when all was not well between us). I've once actually "gone monkish" (no sex of any kind at all--I mean none) for as long as a year and a half! :| Of course, I've had to channel those energies elsewhere, and I did.

Love,
CJ

Hi Christina!

Thank you for responding here.

I had a hard time even coming up with the question.

Let me explain my reasoning for the wording. I don't think anyone has a problem with their libido in a relationship when they are CD'ing. $\:D/$ (unless they are arguing)

I wanted to give those who are experiencing a loss in libido and don't dress some support to let them know they aren't alone. Whenever I discuss this with someone it's always in a kind of sorrowful discussion. Hopefully this will help people answer the poll question correctly.

If someone wants to start another poll that asks if they experience a more active libido (look deeply into the G rated wording

) when dressed that's cool, but this one is for a different reason.

Thanks again for your post Christina. I think if someone is looking for the support I mentioned they'll be able to get it by reading your post.

Beauty

Shalindra · Post by **Shalindra** » Mon Dec 22, 2003 10:59 am

I did contradict myself with my comment and poll answer. I also suffer from mild dyslexia, and I sometimes read things a little differently that what is writted. It makes for some very interesting conversations especially when I do not think I read somehting incorrectly and then later realize the argument was my fault.

Shally

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Mon Dec 22, 2003 6:54 pm

Hi Shally,

No problemo.

Thanks, I wasn't sure if I misunderstood.

Beauty

Charlene · Post by **Charlene** » Mon Dec 22, 2003 7:31 pm

Thanks for the hug beauty.

I'm just waiting for the right GG to come along.

Cindy Michelle · Post by **Cindy Michelle** » Mon Dec 22, 2003 8:31 pm

Beauty

you asked if I was dressed? If you mean in bed, most of the last month or two has been in a long gown and panties. it does nothing for my wife, or so she says, but has a positive effect on me. I am much more agressive and she enjoys and is accepting of the increased libido and nightly dressing.

The increased stimulous when dressed appears to be a consistent response with some of the other posts. However, this may also become ritualistic and not 'exciting' for me after awhile. I think somebody posted about a 'rut' after a while.

As for other dressing, I routinely wear under-wear under my drabs. Haven't quite got to dressing more than that around the house yet and do not plan on going out. It would take a miracle worker to make me passable. Besides, I am still struggling with me or she. Sometimes the guilt over-powers the desire and vice-versa. Sure enjoy it now though.

Happy Holidays, CindyM

Crossdressers-Haven.com

Poll about Libido

How often do have actually have sex after you've been married or dating over a year? (not CD'd sex)

Poll about Libido

My 2 nickles

You are correct beauty