Crossdressers-Haven.com

Girls, I have a question, hopefully it will not turn in to a psychological treaty. One of my sisters (and I apologize to her for not remembering who she was or her exact words) she posted that when we dress and look in the mirror the girl we see looking back may not be as (word, word) pretty, beautiful, sexy, feminine whatever as we actually see or want to see. I guess one way to approach it is when you see your picture (even if you post it in the picture's forum) is that the same girl that you see when you look in the mirror? Is it a matter of expectations exceeding reality? Perhaps for some of us it is break even - i.e., what you see is what you get! or that some of us may even look better than we think. Just how effective is the mirror in reflecting our image?
Thanks for your input,
Virginia

Virginia,

I was thinking of what you asked and began thinking about it myself. I sometimes stair into the mirror and wonder who is that looking back. Other times I would wish I had more femain features but I do not know how I would go about doing that. It can be an odd sensastion most of the time.

Hi Virginia,

For me the mirror is simply a tool that I use to enjoy my fantasy. I always look better than the mirror would allow me to, and I plan to keep it that way.

Love Darlene.

I see what the mirror sees, and I need the mirror to help me see.

Pictures, with lighting and enhancements and different quality tend to be biased.

On a very good day, I might see in the mirror what my avatar shows.

Virginia, it’s very possible that you’re referring to one of my past replies to someone. Throughout the time I’ve been a member of this forum I’ve replied to a lot of posts which were related to a CD’s passability or NON-passability. Basically what I’ve said is that mirrors can be deceptive to some crossdressers at times. Oh, they’re reflecting back EXACTLY whatever is in front of them, but what an avid crossdresser often sees is what their mind WANTS them to see as opposed to what’s actually there. I think this is sometimes due to the elation and “high” we get from dressing, and especially so when we are under the impression that we are looking our best and even more so if we FEEL that way too. That’s one of the main reasons it’s great to have a supportive partner who can, and will, critique the CD honestly. Even if the overall look is convincing it can all be for naught if the walk, gestures, or general demeanor doesn’t quite coincide with that of a true GG.

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

Hi Virginia--
Interesting question. The mirror is kinder to me than it should be, most of the time. To really check my image, I have a video camera set up in one corner, and I just walk up and down the room once or twice. On a good night, the video will agree with the mirror!

Hi Virginia,

For myself, I'm dubious as to what the mirror portrays. I recently brought a lovely cream plunge V neck blouse and trying on with varoius clothes, I finally got the look I wanted. In the mirror the blouse looked pretty and just right.
And so just for prosperity I took a photo of myself wearing it, using different light settings, angles and distances. When I finally brought pictures up on the computer, the blouse looked bl@@@y awful.
Needless to say the blouse is now used to polish the car and the mirror is just a mere tool, to check that I put my jumpers on the right way around

Charlotte xx

Hey Girls,
Thanks for the thread, Virginia.

I personally like the mirror. I am well pleased with what it portrays. In all honesty, my reflection en femme is prettier than I feel. So to me, it's a self-confidence enhancer.

Charlotte, just a question. Were you the one taking photos (i.e. self timer) or did someone else shoot for you. I have found that having someone else take the photos can make all the difference in how a picture turns out. So don't be so quick to find a new polishing rag!

Hugs,
Kyra

This is a weird question for me. I will not look in the mirror when I am dressed as I do not want to think about what I look like. I am still not comfortable with being a CD so I do not want to know what I look like. I know I have to be the ugliest thing on two feet. I am when in EN DRAB so I will be even worse when EN FEMME mode. But because I will never be in public dressed EN FEMME I am not too much worried about it.

I am still attempting to decide on a wig from Stef but I have a huge head that makes it hard to decide what wig to try.

Gelinda

Hi Kyra,

My photos are all by self-timer. You are right though, someone behind the camera would probably have made a much better job of the photos.
But I doubt if even David Bailey, could have made that blouse look good.

Charlotte xx

Hi Virginia and all:

Just a light note - I was trying on several different wigs last year and with one of them I looked in the mirror and saw my sister looking back at me. It was a really strange feeling. I love her dearly but I didn't want to look like her!

Missy

Hi Charlotte,

What a wonderful thread.

At first I wasn't happy with what I saw in the mirror, but with some work I became very content and so my answer is yes, the forum avatar is who I see in the mirror.

Beauty

Hi girls,

for me my minds eye tends to flatter me rather more than the mirror I'm afraid! I guess I do tend to get something of a high from dressing, which makes me over-optimistic about the results I actually see. Doesn't seem to stop me enjoying myself though! Really enjoyable thread Virginia, thanks.

hugs,

Katy-Jane

Sometimes I get depressed when 'mirror girl' doesn't turn out to be all she could. I'm gradually getting over this, but I still don't like looking at myself dressed without makeup. However, my mirror is also a valuable way to get in touch with my 'other half', to let her know that she's beautiful and beloved.

I hate photos a lot more than mirrors. Photos really show off the unflattering truth of what you were at that moment (how you destroyed your hairdo with spine-shattering rivethead antics and that makeup you thought was so sexy really just made you look like a campy she-male whore!!) sometimes it's an effort to stop myself from burning or ripping up the photos of Violet that I have, there are only a couple that actually show me off in a positive light. I keep the other ones ultimately as a reminder and a signal of just how far I've come.

I love looking at myself in the mirror en femme. I especially like seeing myself in store mirrors when I am out in public, if it is a full-face view. My profile is not nearly as good. I am disheartened to see myself in one of those three-mirror arrangements that show my reflection from the side.

I am usually happy with my female image in photographs and on videotape, if the lighting isn't too harsh. I don't look so good in flash photographs, whether in my male or female persona.