Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hi ladies!! I haven't posted here for awhile but I'm taking a break from packing for a move to a new apartment with my girlfriend and thought I'd share what has been going on in my life as a CD.

First of all I think that I am no longer really comfortable with Britney as my name because when I first used it it was simply the feminized version of my real name, Brian. I think this was just an easy way for me to still hold onto my masculinity and focus more on the "sissy/humiliation" aspect of a girl mocking my name by turning it into something girly. While this worked for awhile, lately I actually feel like there is more to my habits than just fantasy. Amy is a name that I feel stands alone without having to have a connection to my real name. I feel that Amy gives my fem side a more definate identity that fits the mental image I have of myself when my moods are more feminine.

Overall, I think this means that I am not simply CDing as a way to express my sexuality and fetish but as a way to tap into another side of my personality. It's nice to let go of some things when I'm Amy because it wouldn't be weird for her to flirt with boys or go shopping or gossip at work with the other ladies. For her there isn't any machismo when my girl (who has a strong masculine side) buys me flowers, takes me out, spoils me, or protects me and lets me cry on her shoulder.

The only thing that frustrates me is that I really want to look like a hot young post-college age girl and although I haven't really experimented with wigs, makeup, or breastforms my biggest fear is that I will not even come close to passing if I were to take that leap. I wish there was a way for me to just magically transform into the mental image I have of myself. Sadly I know this is just wishful thinking. Part of the appeal of being Amy is to have that certain confidence from being able to turn heads. I don't go all out in drag because I think that I would look ridiculous.....on the other hand I think I look pretty good when I just wear a long black skirt and purse with my converse and t-shirt.

I guess my question is....am I just fooling myself or is this just a natural part of accepting my new feminine needs?

Amy, may I callyou Amy!! You raise some challenging questions -------- for yourself!! A lot of us have again "been there done that." I started a thread "Mirror, Mirror" Asking who do you see when you dress and look in the mirror - we have previously discussed the emotional and mental issues, this time I was seekig responses to the actual physical appearance. DO you think you look better/worse/the same as the reflection?? Assuming that your girl firend is comfortable with your crossdressing, she would be a good "sounding board." To say do you think I could pass if we walked down the street or went into a restaurant??
If "no" what do I need to do to improve my appearance in order to pass??
We all need friends who will tell us the truth, sometimes it is just litttle things, like you have on too much rogue, or the eyeshadow and lipstick clash or your eyeliner is not quite even, etc. If its "well you could stand to loose 150 pounds" You could still dress and pass, perhaps as a larger woman, but the opportunity is there and you have to decide it you want to tackle it. Facial hair, beard, whiskers, etc. - usually a dead give away, so you have to decided do you want to dress and go out and feel the rush or do you love your facial hair more?? This is what we are all about, raising issues, answering questions, and in some cases, preaching! Good luck, hon and keep us posted!
Virginia

And on top of what Virginia has said, note that many many CDs do not pass. Most more than likely will not pass at some point at some venue sometime. So what?

Be yourself.

Don't worry about passing.

Be yourself! Be true to yourself.

Right now, it sounds as though you are starting to grow out of the adolesent stage of your CDing, and beginning to mature. That's a good thing.

Lots of CDs start out before understanding sex. Then they incorporate it into their sex lives when they discover sex.

Some like bondage, some like being sluts, some like humiliation. There is a wide range of sexual fantasy, so incorporating one's CDing into their fantasy is only natural.

As the CD grows into discovering her likes and dislikes, kinks, what have you, when it comes to enjoying sex. One naturally includes the desire to CD also.

As one grows emotionally, sexually, the 'kink' may no longer be so prevalent in the CDing. Then again, it may never go away. Or it may not be enough.

So, if you've moved on from Britney to Amy, then good for you. Don't fight it. Be true to yourself.