Crossdressers-Haven.com

Today while chatting with some girls in the chat room. I started telling them a little about how my acceptance came about. So here goes. Back a few years ago when I first met my wife. I told her that I was a CDR. At first she was open to the fact. Until she actually saw me dressed. Then she became very narrow minded. So for the next 5 or 6 years I was very closeted. We had a lot of discussions about it. Also during this time we had her kids (2) with us. A daughter and a son. My stepdaughter is very open minded and looks at people for who they are. Anyway my wife had a long talk with not only my stepdaughter, but their father's mother also. She is very, very open minded. Anyway when my wife and I had our next discussion, she said that as long as she didn't have to participate, I could become Claire on Mondays while she was at work.
This went on for a couple of years, we often had discussions. Then I had an idea. I keep a journal and normaly had it password protected. So I removed the protection and told my SO to read my journal. That was a good move on my part. After she read the journal she started asking me questions. Like was I thinking of taking hormons and srs. I assured her that I wasn't and that I would probaly never leave the house while dressed as Claire. Then at the begining of this past summer. After I had move my stepdaughter back from collage. My stepdaughter and I had a discussion also. I told her that Mondays were my days to be Claire. And if she didn't want to see me. Then she would either stay in her room or go to work.
Amanda (my stepdaughter) told me that she really didn't care. Just as long as she didn't have to see me in underware. So more or less it was agreed upon. She also confessed to me that she was looking for something and opened my drawer that has my feminine under clothes and make up in it. She said that I used some of the same kind of make up that she did. After a couple of weeks, I was just getting ready to put on a dress. She decided to go to the bath room. So instead of going the normal way, she came trough my bed room. And there I stood in my feminine underware. She got a good look at me. But didn't say a word about it. Until later she had a chat with her mother, my SO and told her that I needed to shave my legs. When my SO told me about it, she actually suggested that I do so.
So I did that very day. I was very pleased with the feeling that I got. And to this day I shave my legs twice a week. Amanda has also helped me with applying make up and suggestion on what shades to use. She also helped to shape the other wig that I had.
My SO and I moved Amanda to the university that she is attending now. And on the way back we had a good discussion. My So told me that she would try to be more supportive for Claire. And to this day even though I haven't pushed her in anyway. She has bought me a new wig, clothes, jewerly and other things that I need. Just this past Monday she stayed home because she was ill. I figured ok I can not dress and be my feminine self. She really surprised me, by telling to do what I would normally do if she wasn't here. That she fely it was time for her to be more accepting. So I got dressed, put on my make up and presented Claire to her. She made a couple of adjustments with my hair, makeing it look better and a couple of suggestions with my make up also.
So all in all I guess you could say that she has finally accepted Claire and now is becoming comfortable with me as Claire.


Sorry that this is so long.

Hugs and Kisses, Claire

Claire,

That certainly sounds like excellent progress! You did not do any pushing of boundaries, your stepdaughter accepted you, and now your wife has accepted Claire more. The small steps are working.

Thank you for sharing your story.

Jadeanne

I agree with Jadeanne.

Also, maybe it took Amanda's acceptance to open your wife's eyes a bit, but what works works. You've eased your wife into this life, and will hopefully continue to not push.

Not pushing is very hard for some of us, me included. When I go to far, my wife lets me know that we've taken a few steps backward.

We went away for the weekend, and I had hoped she would let me take my things to dress and go out. She didn't though, so I only took my lingerie, since I wear it all the time anyway.

When we got settled into the hotel, she asked be how many dresses I brought. I told her none, and she asked why not. I told her it was because she didn't say I could. Was she testing me? I don't know, but when we were out shopping, she encouraged me to look at fem things, especially some sexy shoes. Tempted as I was, I only bought a nylon channel sweater. The softest thing you'd ever want to feel in clothes. She bought me a leapard print nighty the next day.

So, sometimes taking things slow is the way to go.

I hope things continue to go well with you and your wife.

Thank you girls for your thoughts and words. Yes my So has became more accepting and supportive. And even though we have not actually set boundries. Just knowing her and her feelings is all the boundries I need. I would not want to do anything that I feel would up-set the apple cart and destroy what ground we have gained.

Hugs and Kisses, Claire

Congratulations Claire,
As we say, small steps. I do not want to create doubt but I have to say that you need to keep the communications always open and be prepared for your SO to regress at anytime. Your SO may be the exception, but for most SO's its a roller coaster ride. One day its OK, the next they hate you for it, then its a none issue. It is really tough for a lot of SO's to get their minds around crossdressing, especially once they have seen "their competition." Good luck and we all hope it works out for you, I only wish my SO was half as accepting!
Virginia