Crossdressers-Haven.com

As someone fairly new to this, I having trouble taking any steps

Often I don't get alot of time to dress and I am quite lazy when it comes to putting any effort in when I do dress, I feel I suffer from "Man In A Dress" syndrome, There's just nothing attractive about the way I look, Even ugly hookers look better than me.

The reason I don't try hard enough, Might be because I'm a little worried about being found out, I'm 25 and live on a farm with my parents, They would be quite distraught if they really knew and I don't want to put them through that.

Also as a farmer it's abit hard to be dainty at times

Should I start doing more when I have time, Or is this as far as I can go?

Daphne,
I guess I can only repeat what you must have thought of: Like are you sure yor parents would not understand that they potentially have a "daughter" on the farm? Parents can sometimes surprise you with their understanding. Needless to say, they would not want to lose a "good farm hand " Just because she wears a dress, does not mean she will work any less.
Not knowing how far you are from a town of any size, is it possible to find a support group there?? Look in a phone book and call around, ask psychologist or counselors if they know of any support groups or dare I say it (GLTB) bars. Go to the bar and strike up conservations and find out if support groups exist, "we" are very accomodating folks and open to help our new sisters as they travel this new road. Maybe Merinda here on the forum can also give you some help!
Good luck and tell us how and what you decide to do!!
Virginia

Dear Daphne,

There's not a lot of "should" to crossdressing. If you're comfortable with things the way they are, then there's no need to change them. Besides, if you look at most women today, they're not really very feminine either. They wear pants (esp. jeans) most of the time, with man-styled shirts and no makeup.

Now if you're really unhappy with your femme appearance, that is something to take seriously. Dissatisfaction with appearance has probably motivated more CDs to try to be TSs than anything else--and some of them regret it later. That is, after hormones have depleted their sex drive and they have spent thousands of dollars on plastic surgery, in a vain attempt to feel better about their appearance. The real solution to their problem is in their head, not in the mirror. So, if you're dissatisfied with your appearance, I would suggest working on your head first. Are you satisfied with your life in general? Are there things you want to be doing but aren't? Would a little counseling help?

Daphne wrote:As someone fairly new to this, I having trouble taking any steps

Often I don't get alot of time to dress and I am quite lazy when it comes to putting any effort in when I do dress

. . .

Should I start doing more when I have time, Or is this as far as I can go?

You can go as far as you like. You can dress as little as you like, from "not at all" to "as much as you can get on." Whatever you are comfortable with.

Be your own person and be true to your own feelings.

Now, could you answer this question: Why do you think you need to do more?

DonnaT wrote:

Daphne wrote:As someone fairly new to this, I having trouble taking any steps

Often I don't get alot of time to dress and I am quite lazy when it comes to putting any effort in when I do dress

. . .

Should I start doing more when I have time, Or is this as far as I can go?

Now, could you answer this question: Why do you think you need to do more?

To answer your question DonnaT

I guess, I'm trying to fit myself into some warped pre-conception of femminity....Some stupid standard that I've thought up?

I'm not unhappy with my life, I enjoy what I do and who I am, There's no way I would go down the TS path.....Too much bother.

You are all Correct, I should just be happy that I'm doing it at all.

Thank you all, You advice is appreciated

DonnaT wrote:

Daphne wrote:As someone fairly new to this, I having trouble taking any steps

Often I don't get alot of time to dress and I am quite lazy when it comes to putting any effort in when I do dress

. . .

Should I start doing more when I have time, Or is this as far as I can go?

Now, could you answer this question: Why do you think you need to do more?

To answer your question DonnaT

I guess, I'm trying to fit myself into some warped pre-conception of femminity....Some stupid standard that I've thought up?

I'm not unhappy with my life, I enjoy what I do and who I am, There's no way I would go down the TS path.....Too much bother.

You are all Correct, I should just be happy that I'm doing it at all.

Thank you all, You advice is appreciated

DonnaT wrote:

Daphne wrote:As someone fairly new to this, I having trouble taking any steps

Often I don't get alot of time to dress and I am quite lazy when it comes to putting any effort in when I do dress

. . .

Should I start doing more when I have time, Or is this as far as I can go?

Now, could you answer this question: Why do you think you need to do more?

To answer your question DonnaT

I guess, I'm trying to fit myself into some warped pre-conception of femminity....Some stupid standard that I've thought up?

I'm not unhappy with my life, I enjoy what I do and who I am, There's no way I would go down the TS path.....Too much bother.

You are all Correct, I should just be happy that I'm doing it at all.

Thank you all, You advice is appreciated

DonnaT wrote:

Daphne wrote:As someone fairly new to this, I having trouble taking any steps

Often I don't get alot of time to dress and I am quite lazy when it comes to putting any effort in when I do dress

. . .

Should I start doing more when I have time, Or is this as far as I can go?

Now, could you answer this question: Why do you think you need to do more?

To answer your question DonnaT

I guess, I'm trying to fit myself into some warped pre-conception of femminity....Some stupid standard that I've thought up?

I'm not unhappy with my life, I enjoy what I do and who I am, There's no way I would go down the TS path.....Too much bother.

You are all Correct, I should just be happy that I'm doing it at all.

Thank you all, You advice is appreciated

Hi Daphne,

I think there is alot of good stuff about self acceptance in the replies here

One would think that having broken with all the rules about what men "should" wear that we would be ready to look askance at any "shoulds" in crossdressing. But still we continue to should on ourselves. Some of these are good of course such as the one about respecting the wishes of the women in our lives and not borrowing their clothes when they don't want us to.

But the idea that we have to aspire to a certain correct degree of feminimity is as silly as the idea that we should not do this at all.

Take things as far as you feel that you want to. Your ideas may change from time to time about this.

Personally the idea of a crossdressing farm worker who remains a farmworker is kind of appealing to me. Adn farming is hard work so don't beat yourself up about being lazy in this area.

Today for much of the day the only feminine thing I wore was my unisex sandals for around the house. My little joke and secret. But it was fun.

Nice to hear from you, I enjoyed this topic

Andrea