Crossdressers-Haven.com

Well, I am confused. My counselor tells me that a CD can be cure. She tells me that if she can find the root cause to what caused me to CD then she can cure it. From what I read from other posts on this forum and the other forum then she is totally wrong.

Has anyone heard of someone being cured?????

Gelinda.

Gelinda,

I have never heard anyone being cured by coing to a theropist or counselor. In MY experience the ones I have had always taught me how to cope with the problem make use of it make me stronger. That is how my counselor helped me with dyslexia. I will never be ride of it but I know how to cope with it.

This is me however I am not sure about others.

Jessie

I've not heard of anyone being cured.

As Jessie said, most will help their patient cope with it.

Not saying she can't cure you by getting to the root cause, and if you want to be cured, then give it a try. Can't hurt. And if no cure is found, then you'll probably accept it more.

Find another counselor ASAP.
Ask her for testimonies of her success at this that you can verify.

I'd be wary of a counselor who can claim he/she can cure you. In the first place, that implies that there is something wrong with you that needs curing-- I think this is a dangerous attitude for the counselor to have-- if he/she is wrong (which I believe to be the case), then the result will be endless confusion, doubt, guilt, frustration on your part for not being able to be cured. Denial is not a cure. In the second place, I've never heard of such a "cure" being accomplished-- is your counselor an Einstein of psychology who can succeed where all others have failed? I doubt it.

Grace

Hi Gee, Honey, you have been around this forum long enough to read not only from the girls here who have been to counselling, but the sited experts in the field of Gender Variance and I do not remember seeing any of them state that crossdressing can be "cured." She may teach you to suppress it or to repress it but cure it?? I think not. I agree with my siter, find another counselor. You may also want to buy this book: "Transgender Emergence" by Arlene Istar Lev, CSW-R,CASAC it is a Therapeutic Guildeline for working with Gender-Variant People and their families. It is published by the Haworth Clinical Practice Press. Now that being said the book does not deal directly with us/crossdresser, but it does have many references and clinical studies concerning us. It is well worth the time and money, I think. Good Luck and please keep us posted as to how you are doing and what you decide!
Love,
Virginia

Dear Gelinda,

Everybody has there own opinoins on any given subject. You "counslor" is just a person. So people believe you can change gay people straight. I have never heard of any cases in which it lasted and the person was happy. As for your question, why do you need to be "cured"

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!!!

Just in case you missed that

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!!!!

Some people need to hear things 3 times before they belive it

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!!!!

If you want to try to find out what makes you tick, great, but you might want to find another person to talk to. This one sounds like a quack

I have a question for you...... do you know what they call the person who graduated LAST in medical school??

DOCTOR!!! think about it and remember


THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!


Yours with love and a big hug

Sinjoy(so)

I'm jumping in here too - as an SO.

A cure is only for things that are wrong with you. And while I may not be able to understand the need to cross-dress (now, or ever), I can tell you that there isn't anything wrong with you!

Get a new shrink, fast! Some of ya'll who have dealt with counselors, please let her know what to look for! This one's a quack and IMHO is liable to do more damage in the long run than any possible good!

Sorry, I had to edit this to add this thought. It seems that what a counselor *should* be helping you with is to get rid of the notion that you are somehow bad because you like women's clothes, and further how to get a grip on the behavior so that you control it without it controlling you. But ya know, this is just me peeking in through a window...

And like Sinjoy said -

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!

-georgia(so)

Thanks Everyone: I am hearing exactly what I needed to hear an what I believed myself. I am going to give it a little more time as maybe I misunderstood, but She has helped me in anger management and other ways. Plus I have this desire an my inner self is telling me she is the one to help in many ways. Maybe not in all ways. Thanks a million. Gee.

I agree with the other girls . . . this is a pretty big goof up. . . . ask her to cite some scientific literature that supports her argument so that we can examine them ourselves . . . if she is unable to or refuses to provide it, take it as your cue to get up and leave and ask for a full-refund on your way out!

Gelinda wrote:Has anyone heard of someone being cured?????

Gelinda.

I think your counselor may be working from an addiction concept and thinks that CDing is an addiction and can be cured, like alcoholism or gambling.

I agree with all my sisters here. Your counselor is probably coming from either a Freudian or addiction model.

In the Freudian model, if you know the root cause, you can cure a condition.

In the addiction model, a behavior that seems incurable and causes both pleasure and pain is called a compulsion and the person can recover from the compulsion by working the Twelve Steps. Counseling can be a big help to this process.

Freud believed that the root cause of crossdressing was an absent or distant father. Growing up, our relationship with our father was colder and more distant than with our mother, so we bonded more closely with our mothers.

But that's true for most kids. And most kids don't become crossdressers.

The addiction model is true enough. But when it comes to crossdressing and other transgendered conditions, there is no twelve step program that claims to offer recovery from them.

In terms of root causes, I know exactly the root cause of my crossdressing. Before I was born, my mother had one or two miscarriages. I was her first liveborn child. During her pregnancy in 1948-9, she was prescribed a relatively new drug called diethylsilbestrol (DES), a synthetic estrogen. One of the side effects later discovered is that it caused some male babies to be transgendered. It had other, more lethal side effects as well and was later taken off the market.

Knowing the root cause doesn't cure me of my transgenderedness. But it does help me to better accept my condition and enjoy being the way I am.

After all, without DES, I might have been just another miscarriage rather than the unique, positive, valuable contribution to human experience that every human being can become.

Today, for instance, I will spend most of the day talking with a transgendered young person whom we'll call Beth. We will be talking about Beth's immigration issues (she was raised in this country but is not here legally), and her choices for lifestyle, education, and career. If I were not transgendered, I would probably never have met Beth, nor would I be her pastor and someone she trusts.

A challenge can be a problem or an opportunity; the difference is what you do with it.

Rikki,
You are a fantastic individual! I hope some day to meet you face to face!
Love,
Virginia

If you feel that your counselor is helpful to you in other areas then keep an open mind and see what happens. You may be right about misunderstanding what she said.

The idea of curing vs recovery vs healing is complex. I knew a woman once who was on crutches for the rest of her life who would talk about how her legs were healed but not cured. Her psyche was also healed and she accepted that the condition in her legs was going to stay the way it was. She was an inspiring individual with the courage of her convictions and did a lot of Christian faith healing. I would say that a physically handicapped faith healer is a real example of faith.

It may be that your crossdressing is a response to other things and when they are addressed you will either lose the desire or accept it fully and do it more, or somewhwere in between. What a non prediction! We are all individuals and unique. With some of us the desire waxes and wanes, with others it does not. We also do this for many different reasons, ranging from knowing that we are really a transgendered person who does not want to have surgery for what ever reason to the person who dresses only for a sexual thrill to someone who does this as art.

In any event I hope that you will continue to let us know what is happening with you in this area of your life as it will no doubt be helpful to other readers here

Thanks

Andrea

Traditionally, most supposed 'cures' for CD have involved institutionalization and chemical castration. If I had a counsellor who claimed to be able to 'cure' me of this 'disease', I would walk out right then and there. Since you feel that zie has been an asset in bringing stability to your existence, I would suggest you thank zer for zir assistance, then find a new counsellor.