Every little bit helps.....

[Sally]

Anyone who wishes to add their voice in some small way to support the push for equal rights for Gay, Lesbian, Bi-Sexual and Transgender people on the agenda of the United Nations Commission for Human Rights, can do so by signing the petition at http://www.brazilianresolution.com

Many, many people voice their feelings amongst themselves about the lack of acceptance and freedom to be able to be themselves, now everyone can do their little bit to add strength to our push for equal rights. It takes time and effort, plus it also needs our voices to get louder and LOUDER.

The full text of the message from Stephen Barris, Communications Officer for ILGA is as follows......

"From: ilgaworldnews@ilga.org
To: newse4@ilga.org
Subject: How long will LGBT rights be ignored at the UN?
Date: Fri, 25 Mar 2005 18:48:06 +0100

Equal rights for LGBT people are now more than ever on the agenda of the United Nations’ Commission for Human Rights!

Last year more than 45,000 people signed ILGA’s petition in support of the “Brazilian” resolution, the first resolution introduced in the UN that would ban discrimination based on sexual orientation. Brazil, the country who first presented the resolution, decided, after strong resistance to the motion in 2003 and 2004, to postpone discussion on the text until this year’s session of the UNCHR. It is our hope that the Brazilian government does indeed reintroduce its resolution, even though the latest news coming from Brasilia is that this will not happen.

Last Spring in 2004, the UN was witness to the largest ever delegation of gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people in its history at its Geneva headquarters in Switzerland. This year, ILGA will once again work with a large coalition of international organisations to bring together a large group of activists from all over the world to lobby the UNCHR for equal rights for LGBT people. This year we will be present from April 2 to April 17th.

We have once again requested to meet with the Chair of the UNCHR in order to hand the petition to him and make him aware of our concern that equal rights for LGBT people will once again be ignored by the United Nations. However, there is a strong possibility that our rights will once again be denied by religious groups supported by Islamic countries, the Vatican and right-wing religious fundamentalists in the United States who are already actively collaborating against the resolution. For these reasons we need your support now more than ever!

You can do the following to help us fight your rights in the UN this year:

• Visit the updated version of our site in support of the “Brazilian Resolution” at: http://www.brazilianresolution.com and sign the petition to support it; and don’t forget to encourage your friends to sign it too!

• Make a donation to ILGA
Bringing activists from all four corners of the Earth to Geneva to lobby the UN costs a lot of money. The more resources we have the stronger our presence and our voice will be! Help us to continue our fight for equal rights for LGBT people in the UN and around the world. Visit our site at: http://www.ilga.org for more information.

Thanks for your support!

Sincerely,

Stephen Barris
Communications Officer, ILGA "

Kind Regards to all.

Sally.

[Virginia]

Sally, I have read your post a couple of times. Note that it is only Tuesday morning here in "The Coloniies," but no one else has responded - yet?! I will probably send a donation, but it seems that we/crossdressers (and I include Virginia) are still "in the closet politically and domestically." this is why we are treated as "outcasts" by the GLBT community because we can't/won't stand-up for ourselves and/or our brethren in this "community." I am sure you note from the posts in this forum and others that you may have visited, a lot of "us" are closeted and have not and may never leave the safe confines of our homes, so why should we even be concerned about those who are out seeking approval for "their" lifestyle? You have proven to be wise enough to know that a lot of our sisters here are and may be forever regardless of what they say, struggeling daily with the ultimate question:"Why the hell do I like to wear women's clothing?" We all know that there is a stigma attached to our (as has been called - "hobby?"). I have noticed that a lot, not all but a lot of us who do dress and go out into society have nothing to lose so to speak. Meaning, divorced, unemployed for various reasons, self-employed, retired, etc. There does not seem to be too many of us who are bank presidents, accountants, politicans, Dr's., lawyers, teachers, etc., who are willing or could stand the financial devistation of losing our jobs because we are crossdressers.
Yes, I think we should supposrt the cause, but actively I personally don't think it's gonna happen for quite a while.
I know that you will not hold this against us - it is just where we are. I sincerely believe that we will one day be recognized and begin to "come out of the closet," but today, it just ain't gonna happen.
I know you well enough to know that you will not hold this against your sisters here on this forum and hopefully you will not give up on us.
As our matra says, "Small steps honey, just small steps!"
Love ya,
Virginia

[Alexandra]

I'm curious what the official U.S. response to this is?

Sadly though, especially based on the number of people who has read this thread vs the number who posted a response, I'd say there are a number of people here that just don't care about these things because of, well, the self-centered thing . . . and the distancing of themselves to anything "gay". Heck, even my response here will get the thread sent to mordor where it will be safely hidden to avoid subjecting members to the realities of our world.

[DonnaT]

I didn't think the thread called for a response. I went to the site and electronically signed the petition instead.

[Sinjoy(SO)]

I am proud to be Canadain!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right now it IS leagal for gay and lesbian people to be married in this wonderful country.

Can you belive that our elected officals are getting calls from people who love in the USofA telling them to vote against it??? What ???? talk about gall!!!!!!!!!!!!

My representitive simply asks the m the following questions:

1) do you LIVE in Canada?
2) Do you live in my riding?
3) Did you vote for me??

Since people have to say NO to all 3 questions, my representitive askes them why he should care about their opinions. And asks them why they feel that the have any right to try to influance a vote in a completly different country?? and tells them that if they spent one tenth of their energy for good the world would be a better place! ( Can you see why we voted for him??)

In Canada, generally, we are a live and let live group of people. Yes, there are the jerks who are the exception that makes the rule. And yes, we are highly taxed, but it is still one of the best places in the world to live (not just my opinion, but the UNs as well)

are we not supposed to love our brother/sister?? I didn't realize that I missed the passage that said ONLY IF THEY ARE EXACTLY LIKE YOU, but then again, as a Jew my bible is in Hebrew, and I can't read hebrew all that well hehehe

Good luck to you all, and if you want to get married up here, Niagra Falls Casino, in Niagra Falls Canada, has just opened a Vagas style wedding chapel.


All my love ,

Sinjoy(so)

[Virginia]

Sinjoy,
You gotta admit we in the states do have some "big kuhonas" don't we?? . I applaude your representative, I only wish most, hell, all of our politicians had enough backbone to stand for something, anything All they want to do down here is get re-elected by any means possible. I always ask myself, why in the world would anyone want to spend $6 million to get elected to a job that pays #235,000 a year???? This country has some serious, serious problems and we may be too far gone to fix them - got any room at your house for another crossdresser??
Love,
Virginia

[Sinjoy(SO)]

Dear Virginia,

Oh heck, what's one more??? come on up!!

One of the great things (one of the MANY) about Canada is that we are NOT a melting pot. What I mean by this is, that everyone can be who the are, practise their religion, and keep meaningful costums.

As most of you know Jean-P and I are Jewish. Jean-P converted and most of my friends are NOT Jewish. But every year the all come over with their kids to learn about and help us celebrate Passover and Hunnakka. I think it is great that we are all different religions, backgrounds and live different lifestyles, but we can all share in each other holidays.

The other reason I have them all over is so when the hear" Cheap jew" "I was Jewed" or how we Jews are in control of everything and ruining the world, that they can think in their heads " Aunty Sinjoy and Uncle Jean-P are Jewish and they are not like that"

Children have to be taught to hate. Imagaine how wonderful the world would be if we had been all taught( and taught are own kids) that everyone is different, but that is ok because we are all the same inside. We all bleed, we all laugh, and we all have feelings...

If that could happen, we would NOT need to sign any petitions, equal rights for everybody would already be a reality ( but you thought I was going to stay off topic, didn't ya?? hehehe)

Sinjoy(so)

[Sally]

Hi Virginia,

Firstly let me just say that I will never give up on anyone, no matter where they fit into the mix of it all. I walked the road of the M/Female Crossdresser from childhood through more than half of my adult life before I came to realise the truth regarding where my destiny lay and I hold nothing against anyone. I think there are enough people who know that I embrace everyone and don't discriminate or isolate anyone, some people may, but I never have and never will.

I realise that there are those in the GLBT community who may regard their personal cause as paramount to others, but from my vast experience I've found that the majority of the GLBT community are quite compassionate towards others (including CD's), and indeed many of my nearest and dearest friends idenitfy as M/F, F/M Crossdressers. As a person who was 'closeted' for most of my life I well know the difficulties and fears of all those people who live in secret but would dearly love to 'walk free', but for all the obvious reasons which we are all well aware of, in this day and age and at this point in time it's best and safest all round for them to continue their 'secret life'.

I wasn't really looking for responses to my original message, I was just hoping that a number of people would sign the petition and add some more weight of numbers to the cause. As I said, "Every little helps" and we see it often enough where we say that we should all be able to be open about wearing what we wish to, well here is a chance for everyone to add some weight to the argument. We have to start somewhere and whilst we are not simple enough to think we will obtain sweeping changes to attitudes in our lifetime, the aim is to do our little bit to try and make the road that much easier for those coming behind us so they may be able to live a more peaceful, content, stress and danger free life than some of us have previously experienced.

I can assure you that there are people who are working for the good of all of us, no matter how we identify ourselves or what we see our gender identity as. There is no discrimination against CD's in this push to lobby the United Nations. The aim is to try and effect some influence through an organisation which carries a lot of weight in the desired quarters, but there is a need for people from all of 'the mix' to stand up and be counted. It doesn't mean people have to come out of the closet and nobody will be identified, it's just an opportunity for people to try and make a difference by swelling the numbers on the petition. After all, a lone voice always falls on deaf ears.

Knowing you as I do I'm a bit mystified as to why you would say, " a lot of "us" are closeted and have not and may never leave the safe confines of our homes, so why should we even be concerned about those who are out seeking approval for "their" lifestyle?"

I believe the aim and concerns of everyone should be to try and create a world where nobody has to live in isolation and closeted, no matter what 'stigma' may be attached to them by society, be it religious beliefs, gender identity, colour, creed etc etc. It has been and will continue to be a long, long hard battle, but we all have to start somewhere. I think we would have to agree that over the last 30 years there have been giant steps taken in the publics' attitudes, but the battle is still in its' infant stages. There are three huge hurdles to be overcome before any substantial ground will ever be gained for us all, and those three hurdles which have to be overcome is the attitudes of Religion, Religion and Religion, but with the continued 'coming out' of more and more members of the clergy who identify publicly as GLBT and CD, we are gradually gaining ground. But it's the attitudes of the heads of the religious organisations whose power filters down through the political figures which causes us to bang our heads against the wall.


I hope I never ever in anyway give the impression I would ever give up on anyone or hold anything against anyone whatsoever. I'm in this for the long haul " boots and all for the good of each and everyone, or should that be 'heels' not boots, LOL." Everybody is entitled to their opinons and if it happens that some peoples' opinions differ from others then that is absolutely no reason to hold anything against that person, whoever or whatever they may be. I think you've seen me say it often enough that I always welcome different points of view as I've never learnt anything from someone who totally agreed with me. Nobody ever has or ever will know it all and the day we stop learning is the day they screw the lid down.

Kind Regards,

Sally.

[Alexandra]

Hi all, the only reason I wanted to know what the "official" US response to that was so that before I bash the president, I want to be factually correct! I try not to shoot from the hip and assume things.

Sally sez: "I've found that the majority of the GLBT community are quite compassionate towards others"

I agree. And this is true in my case as well . . . I'm concerned about all human conditions, not just GLBT.

Just a quick comment on Canada . . . I won't be moving to Canada anytime soon because of censorship concerns . . . for some reasons Canadians don't mind big brother watching over the news media (as well as some of your entertainment activities) . Since I'm IN the media business, being told to shut up won't sit well with me.

[Virginia]

Sally,
You know how much I enjoy reading your posts - you are wonderful!
The point that I was trying to make about our "closeted" sisters is that there are those that for what ever reason will not go out in public and beyond those, there are those who not only will never go out, but will not take any time to seek out who and what we are and why we do what we do.
You know that Virginia goes out, supports us and has not been "outted" - yet?! I may have been read, but not "outted." It is their problem anyway, not mine!'
Please keep up the good work for us and I think you will find a lot of support from the girls here!
Love ya,
Virginia

[Sally]

Hi Virginia,

I'm the first to agree that the M/Female Crossdresser is on the lowest rung of the peck order and that's simply because to date they haven't spoken up for themselves in a loud enough voice, but it will happen one day if for no other reason than the huge numbers of CD's right around the world and with the internet 'bringing them together' it's just a matter of time.

One of the best articles I've ever seen written on the subject is by your own Riki Anne Wilchins. I know I've posted her article previously and it brought some derogatory comments from some people, but if people read it in the positive light it was written in regards to crossdressing and her beliefs of the eventual outcome, then the value of her wisdom can be absorbed. The article needs to be read more than once to absorb fully what she's saying and to realise she is for CD's not against them. She has been a tireless worker not just for the GLBT communities but for the CD community and indeed any section of the community at large which is discriminated against by society in general.

She has been one of the most outstanding and vocal activists against 'the establishment' in the US in regards to gender and sexuality issues for many years.

I think the wisdom of her words in the last couple of paragraphs of her article says it all. I agree with her in point about how so many CD's think of themselves as 'just a crossdresser' ( years ago I thought of myself as such) but everyone is so much more than that. There is so much more value to each and every one. Who they are and what they do is a part of their personality and very being and should never be belittled, especially by themselves, a good self esteem and being true to ourself and those who love us is where it all begins to turn around.

...........................

Only A Crossdresser

by Riki Wilchins



I wish I could count the times I’ve heard the phrase “...only a crossdresser.” And not just from transsexuals, but also from crossdressing-identified people themselves. The reasoning seems to be that changing your very body, making a commitment to one sex or another, is somehow more sincere, more consequential, more (dare I say) radical than ... well, just dressing up. I freely admit to subscribing to this belief myself for a number of years. Until one morning ...I awoke, and with horror found myself trapped lll absolutely trapped, in a bias cut, pleated silk, backless Halston evening gown not of my own design.

No, wait a minute. That’s not right. Where was I? Oh, yeah, I think it’s arguably the case that crossdressing is the more radical identity, although I ought to state up front that I don’t belief in either the identity of “transsexual” or “crossdresser”. This is not to say that I don’t acknowledge and defend anyone’s right to identify as either, for I do. But I regard both as political accomplishments, invented to contain various kinds of disreputable genderqueers and transgressors, rather than names which recognise any naturally-occurring identity.

In short, for me, just categories are inevitably not about truth, but about power: who has it and who doesn’t; who gets to decide what’s “normal” and what’s “perversion”; whose ox gets gored and whose frock gets stored.

Now it’s one thing to change one’s body, as I have, to travel from one sex to another within the socially anointed binary. But in doing so, especially with the doctor’s blessing (“You know, inside, your daughter Riki is really a woman, Ms Wilchins”), I fear I struck a Faustian bargain, I legitimated myself, but I accomplished this feat through an axial proposition that looks something like this - “I am really a woman inside / I am willing to change my body to be female / I am willing to commit my whole life to this / I don’t do this because it is erotic but because it’s my identity / therefore I should be a socially legitimate and respectable subject”.

Unfortunately in the zero-sum game of gender politics, this logic succeeds to the extent that it delegitimises its converse. “You are not a woman ‘inside’ / you are not willing to change your body, just your clothes / you are not even willing to commit your life to it / you are aroused by it (you pervert, you!) / you are such a social dipstick” Granted this equation raises me up, but at a price paid by those who cannot make similar claims. They, of course, go down. And those are ... you guessed it: your friendly, neighbourhood crossdressers.

So it seems to me that crossdressing is some kind of ultimate act of gender politics. It does not have a single thing going for it: not the doctors, not the binary, not a full-time commitment, not even a pledge that they’re not doing it because it turns them on. Because of this, crossdressing -identified men confront conventional requirements for heterosexual male masculinity head-on. They stand on its head all that we’re supposed to know about big, hairy guys being, well, guy-like. This brings on endless trouble with their jobs, wives, children, courts, military and so on. Frankly, despite all the times I heard someone say “I only do this to relax,” it never sounded like a very relaxing thing to me at all. Every one of them put their life on the line when they walk out the door, perhaps down the wrong street, past the wrong patrol car, or into the wrong bar on the wrong night.

I sometimes amuse myself with the differing social legitimation of transsexuality and crossdressing at work when people ask me, “So when did you have your surgery?” I respond, “Surgery, shmurgery. Hey, I just love wearing ladies’ clothes.” Gawd, you should see their faces fall ... at about three feet per second. All that compassionate understanding evaporates. Suddenly, instead of visions of a “woman trapped in man’s body” they’re seeing a weirdo pervert in lacy panties.

Now that I mention it, I remember years ago getting busted by the cops for using the women’s changing room in a clothing store. They were distinctly unfriendly, looking me up and down like I was something they’d discovered after six months in the back of the freezer. That is, until I showed them my doctor’s “carry letter” explaining that I was just a patient with a genuine diagnosis of “gender identity disorder”. Then, of course, they both became amused, condescending, and at last middling friendly. They let me off with a lot of snickered warnings.

Now, granted I’m trying to focus on the politics of things here, because you can’t focus on what the crossdressing community is actually saying about itself publicly. Because the unfortunate fact is, most of the rhetoric coming out of the crossdressing community is banal to the point of tears. It’s often along the lines of, “I dress but my wife won’t accept me”, “I dress, and my wife does accept me”, “I dress, and I’m okay”, “I dress, does that mean I’m queer?”, I dress, does that make my wife a lesbian?”, and my personal favourite, “I dress and it gives me an erection but I’m still a regular guy relaxing, here, have a Bud six-pack, let’s watch the Packers and kick some butts after the game”. I mean, really!

A lot of this is because crossdressing is the more socially-despised identity. And the more despised and oppressed a group, the more assimilationist and conservative their rhetoric and politics. For when groups are radically disempowered they have no choice but to take an assimilationist conservative stance.

In other words, the experience of being a crossdresser is still sufficiently dislocating, both socially and psychologically, that much of the community is still completely engaged in merely coping, rather than analysing, organising and confronting the systematic oppression which maintains and even mandates such dislocations.

But as they find their voice, the stridency, the demands, the political awareness and the organisation to contest that oppression will emerge. It’s going to happen, just give it time. Once crossdressers ever really come out, and begin to enunciate the politics of the direct, head-on challenge their very existence poses to gender regimes, I think we will have a truly revolutionary force on our hands, a potent force. The only question is, how long will they think of themselves, and allow so many of us to think of them, as “...only crossdressers?”.



Riki Anne Wilchins

[Reprinted from Agender Perspective]

Kind Regards,

Sally.

[Virginia]

Thanks Sally for the article. Politically it pretty much says where we are. I do have to take exception to the statement that it has does not have a single thing going for it! I doubt that I can claim to be the only exception to the rule here. I am a powerlifter, I am damn good at it I train hard, I love the sport, I do not and have never taken any enhancement drugs and I would not give up my "male side" for anything. That being said, I love my female (whatever) ego/ alter-ego/personna/ anima. I can certainly say that the female side of me, Virginia, exists, is real and has a very, very strong influence over me, even in my day to day activities. I can site two very poienient instances: One, when I felt what seemed like the entire world crashing in on me one night driving home from the hospital where my wife was in intensive care and wondering how I was going to make it. I can still hear that voice, Virginia said, "Don't worry, I am here and everything is going to be all right!" At 60 mph I jerked my head around to see who else was in the car with me to say that. Then it hit me it was my anima/alter-ego whatever, the feminine side consoling me and supporting me and "she" was right. The second was not nearly a dramatic but it happened this week-end at a powerlifting meet. It was my last attempt at the deadlift, a weight that I had not attempted in well it had been a long time. I stepped on the stage and walked up to the weight and I swear that voice in my head said, "Come on big boy, show this girl what you got!" I made the lift! I have been asking myself, did I do it to impress Virginia???
Not a single thing going for it??????????? I think not!!
Maybe I am some type of weirdo ( my wife thinks so, but she doesn't count anymore) but like I have said I like me, I am a nice person and I love Virginia and she loves me. We will hold hands and continue on our "Magical Mystery Tour!" "Not a single thing going for it" - indeed!!??
Love ya,
Virginia