Crossdressers-Haven.com

Visited a forum yesterday that proposed this question. What is the difference between a crossdresser and a transsexual? Their answer - Two years.

From this I am gleaning that the girls on that forum believe that we all have the tendency to go all the way. One point that was made was the more time we spend enfemme the more difficult it is to go back to drab - something I have experienced.

How do you girls react to this idea?

What are your experiences in this area?

Hi Jan,

I answered maybe because I do think about it, but I have a number of fantasies, and full time dressing is one that will probably stay between the ears

After I retire in another year or so, I will have more Jadeanne time, and will dress more often and for longer times (usually now its for a few hours), but I will still present my male self to the outside world.

Also after retirement, I hope to continue sewing lessons from my wife so I could eventually make myself some custom clothing (maid outfits, etc), customize and repair clothing (add lace, etc), and master the program that came with the embroidery unit (monogrammed towels, custom logo ball caps for some occasional $$).


Jadeanne

Hello Jan,

I find it hard to believe that one can be a cross-dresser and not ever think about full time. I am retired and full time at home, and it didn't take me two years. When I restarted I think it took all of about one month. And yes it would be very hard to go back to not being that way. I don't even want to think about it. One of the reasons I do not want to go farther than that is because I don't want to loose the pleasure I get from dressing at home. I want to continue enjoying that. Once I got to the place where I was full time at home is when I began to really treasure and enjoy my home.

Love Darlene.

Hi Jan,

I think that joke has been posted on the site 2 or 3 times. This is the first time, I think, I heard 2 years.

Yes, I've thought about it before. I was talking to Rikki the other day and she told me she knows of post OP TS's who went too quickly and now very strongly regret the move. I am happy I took my time because I now realize where I am on the gender line (at least right now) . It just shows there's a lot to think about I guess.

Thanks for posting this question.

Beauty

Jan W wrote:Visited a forum yesterday that propsed this question. What is the difference between a crossdresser and a transsexual? Their answer - Two years...How do you girls react to this idea?

I think its just an arbitrary statement, reinforced by repetition.

I've had lots of thoughts of going fulltime over the years. But I hardly crossdress at all now and I look back on those thoughts as absurd.

I think that the pendulum is going to swing and that before too long we'll start lots of crossdressers changing their attitude. After the big boom of the late 1990's many are going to become bored, disillusioned, or simply discover more interesting things in their lives.

Like hemilines, attitudes change and I don't think this will be an exception.

Cathy

I answered as a "maybe" ,

As a Hetrosexual I couldn't consider it for real , but I sometimes fantasize about it

Nope, never thought about it. My wife may worry about it, but I've always told her no, etc.

DonnaT wrote:Nope, never thought about it. My wife may worry about it, but I've always told her no, etc.

Donna,

My wife also worried about it , it would probably be our SO's most common fear

From time to time I entertain the idea of transitioning. I'd be very surprised if I actually did, though. The thought of transitioning can be very appealing. It's the "how" of it that applies the brakes.

-Celia

Hi Jan,

I'd agree it's extremely difficult to go back to drab. I find it unthinkable now that I'd ever go back to male clothes. The transition from male clothes to female took a number of years as there was so much to consider with my family, but now it's something which on a day to day basis I just don't think about. The occasional time when circumstances compel me to be dressed in male clothes are when I feel most self conscious.

I don't really like to dwell on ever dressing full time as a male again as those weren't the best years of my life. I'm like Darlene, I don't want to think about it. Even though I won't complete my transition, I'm now at a stage of my life where I'm at peace with everything and I believe that's the most important thing of all, getting the mind right to accept what we have as a heck of a lot more than we once did. I look at it that if I did take that one step left ( I've been medically and pyschologically approved for complete transition) then it's a step into the unknown and one which when taken there is no going back to where I'm at right now. I'm happy with what I have and am not willing to risk losing the life I have now or those people around me who love and need me.

I agree with Beauty also, I've seen far too many people rush into the decision who have lived to regret it, even though the majority of people I know who have completed transition are very happy and content with their lives now. We really only hear about the ones who aren't happy and should have taken more time making their decision. Most of those who are happy just blend into society as a female and get on with their lives not wishing to draw attention to themselves.

Kind Regards,

Sally.

I think I will stay the way I was put here on this planet, I love to dress up and my wife loves to dress me up. I dress at home and we go out from time to time and she never fears about me changing to all fem. I love the way I look in my clothes and I lvoe the way they feel on me, you cant beat that with a stick. I think its a question of preference for the individual. If someone want to change all the way and they dont have anyone or thing holding them back, they can and will do as they wish. We should remember the old saying, you can please some people some of the time, and none of them all of the time, but there is only one person you can please all of the time, yourself. As I said its up to the individual. I am not one for stepping on toes, so I hope I am not making anyone mad, its all up to the individual.

If there are SO's in the picture, then it can get sticky and everyone in the relationship should have a say in the decision.

Besides, My wife told me if I went and changed to a complette fem, she would chop me into little pieces, she likes to quote Pink Floyd as we are big Fans here, but that is another topic

My answer to the question was yes. Yes, I had FT thoughts a while ago. However, that was part of the process in getting to learn more about myself.

Having said that... I find that thing about "What's the difference..." and whatever amount of time answered to be really stupid. (Disclaimer, please, not saying that to anybody, just the question in itself). Nobody who is not already a TS is going to "become" one. It so happens that many TS's may not already be aware of their deeper need to transition and all and therefore have a "CD" stage in their path in life. (Funny, because many will then hate and look down to CD's, just because they didn't follow the same path in life as they did)

People shouldn't go FT just because they can. I used to be "lured" about the possibility of it several years ago. And I was convinced that I could get away with it. But that is not the right reason to do it. You do it because you have to do it. Because it is what is right for you. Not because you are "very passable" or "could pull it off". You do it because of yourself, not because what anybody else may say about it. And in my personal experience... even after spending long periods of time enfemme, it was always nice to be able to get back to my drabbies. So, now my answer would be a solid NO.

Also... going FT means really going FT. Not going FT at home only, or during conventions only. It is about facing every aspect in life as a woman (in the best case scenario) or at least as a cd/tg. Doesn't matter if you dress 5% of your time or 90% of the time. That is not FT. Wearing panties 24/7 is not living FT as a woman, either.

Gaby

It seems to me that there should be a line drawn between FT and TS. To me FT would mean dressing 24/7 while remaining -out of choice- male. Being TS is totally different. Is a TS really a cross dresser anyway? I have never had any thoughts about transitioning but have thought of dressing 24/7. That has changed as I have grown older. I now enjoy the contrast too much to want to be either full time. In an ideal world I would like men and women to dress as they wish without dress being a gender identity.
Jane.