Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hi girls,

Today marks my one year anniversary here. It was a year ago today that I finally got the courage to join the forum. And what a year it has been.

I came here year ago and admitted for the first time ever, even to myself, that I was a crossdresser. I was very scared at the time. My marriage was breaking up, my then wife outted me to my brother, I was dealing with the huge loss of self esteem I felt after having to retire because of fibromyalgia.

I was worried about what would happen to my kids. How I would face being a crossdresser, how I would face being single. How would I afford to live? Would I ever find anyone to love me? I was suicidal, and did in fact try to take my own life.

With the loving support of my children, and all the wonderful girls here, I have weathered the storm and I am really happy now.

After the suicide attempt, it made me realize that I could do whatever I wanted to. Why die? I mean if I did not care what anyone thought enough to kill myself, that I really did not have to care what anyone thought about me. I could always kill myself later if somehow what someone thought or said really did somehow affect me.

So after a few trial runs of girls shoes, nail polish and toe polish, girls shirt,
I finally decided to start dressing full time. So Mid August 2004, I started dressing full time. And with the exceptions of a few times in divorce court, I have not wore any male clothing since.

Now everyone knows I am a crossdresser. All my relatives, friends, aquaintances all know. Coming out was probably the greatest thing that happened to me in a long time. It totally changed my outlook on life. I love being me now. It feels great to dress like a girl all tiime, wear makeup and jewelry, and to use the women's restroom when out.

In October 2004 I met Raven(SO), who not only knows all about me, but totally accepts me, and would not have me any other way. In February she moved in with me. We are now engaged, and plan to marry soon.

No, I am not gay, I pee sitting down, and I will never transition. Those are the answers to the questions most people ask of me. Yes, I get tired of answering sometimes, but I know I must. That is the only way stereotypes about us will ever end.

I just want all of you to know that I don't beleive I could have made the journey without all of you and that I love you all. This is the best website on the entire world wide web.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Congratulations Elizabeth ,

you have grown so much in the last 12 months , at the end of the day you are happy and thats all that counts

I'm only a few weeks away from my anniversary here as well

Hi Elizabeth, isn't it wonderful to live a life full of pleasure. Having someone to love and accept you as you are. Being able to tell the world, look here I am. And if you don't like it, just lump it. Congrats on your pending marriage. I think it is wonderful and I am very happy for you.


Hugs, Claire

Elizabeth

Congratulations to you and Raven on your engagement

We are now engaged, and plan to marry soon.

Hi Elizabeth,

What I want to know is who will be wearing the wedding dress?

And what you will do for a best man?

Best wishes to both of you.
Love Darlene.

Hi Elizabeth,

Congratulations on being here a year. I remember when you came to the forum. You're right you have changed so very much. I'm beaming with pride over who you've become and how much you love yourself and what a great parent you are.

You thinking about ending it was a really scary period for me (and I guess the forum too), but you showed us how strong you were by rising from your lowest to a super high place.

You joined a year ago and my love of a new friend became real at the same time. You're a great person, parent, and mate. I wish you the best because you most definitely deserve it!

Beauty

Hi girls,

Thanks for all the praise and support. Like I said, it was all of your strength that carried me during my weakest times, praise to all of you for being here.

Darlene,

She will wear the wedding dress and I will wear a skirt suit, after all, she is still the bride. My best man will still be my best man, which is my best friend that I stayed with last summer that I told you all about.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Congratulatons on your anniversary and on personal triumphs too numerous to list. Hope it is a great wedding and long happy marriage

Andrea

Thank you, Elizabeth, for your words about the forum. It is good to have been part of that for you. I am happy to hear that things are going well, and congratulations to you and Raven on the engagement.

And I'm so glad that you've been able to meet your dressing needs in such a simple yet profound manner. I say simple because it does not involve hormones and surgeries, or even permission to live fulltime from a therapist. But it is profound because it is way outside of what society expects, and you've found a way to do it.

I too remember when you came and I related to you right off. I am so, so happy your life has worked out so well & you are happy.

Yours, Anne

Hi Elizabeth,

Life throws many challenges and tests at us and over the last year reading each article you've written about your life has shown us that you've answered all challenges and passed each test, even though you've had your ups and downs.

Self disclosure and self acceptance are the beginning to a more wholesome and rounded life for everybody and anybody in this world. Self-disclosure is a reflection of a healthy personality, it deepens relationships. Showing your true feelings, your real self, is a part of intimacy. A common problem is when we assume (often erroneously) others will be unimpressed or won't like us as we really are and, thus, we think we need to pretend to be something we aren't. We pretend in order to impress someone or to hide our shame. Actually, the pretender will probably look phony and feel stressed enough that a relationship will not develop. A better approach is honesty. Not everyone will like us if we're honest, but those that do will at least like our real selves, not our phony selves and from those people we are more likely to form lasting genuine productive friendships or relationships.

Not only is self-disclosure mentally healthy, but "opening up" to others is good for people's physical health too. Holding back our thoughts and emotions may cause physical harm and pain. You certainly have come a long, long way in the last year in your acceptance of yourself.

There's an old adage which says that we all have three characteristics.

Those which we actually have.
Those which we think we have.
Those which others think we have.

I believe that it's imperative that people don't become too self critical as this can lead to driving people away and leave us all alone in the world. If we don't like ourself, we aren't likely to freely reveal ourself to others we care about. This doesn't mean we have to be in love with ourself-we don't have to think we are the greatest, we don't even have to be satisfied with every aspect of our personality. We just have to accept ourself and assume we can continue to improve. If we're tolerant of ourself it's easier to believe that others will accept us, warts and all. Also, we should not be desperate to be liked. If we believe that someone else will love us even if the person we are disclosing to right now starts to lose interest in us, it's easier to take risks and honestly self-disclose.


Friedrich Nietzche said, "At bottom every (person) knows well-enough that he/she is a unique being, only once on this earth; and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diversity in unity as he/she is, ever be put together a second time."

Congratulations and I hope everything continues to get better and better for you.

Kind Regards,

Sally.