Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hi there,

Well, I told another guy friend of almost 10 years about my being TG'd yesterday. He's hetero, so I was a bit afraid, but it turns out he was the easiest to tell so far. He totally took it in stride. No fears, no questioning who I was, no boundaries around our friendship.

He just told me that he was glad I trusted him enough not to judge him and allow him to show that he accepts me unconditionally as a friend.

It was very cool. He asked if my wife knew and approved and was very proud of me when I told him yes that I had told her and he was impressed with her, that she was accepting. As Focker's father would say, "My inner circle" is complete. (today)

I did give him access to my site, but I haven't called him to see what he thought. He's never seen me dressed before.

Thanks for reading this and thanks for your support and guidance for helping me to be strong enough to share this with another close friend!

Beauty

Very cool. Congratulations, especially on having such good friends.

Hey Beauty,

I agree… Another testimony confirming that it wise to choose who one loves. Seems you chose wisely.

Love Darlene.

Good for you Beauty!

He must be a great guy - you choose your friends well.

Rock on, Beauty!!

It's now when you'll realize who your true friends are. True friends will accept you unconditionally for YOU, while the false ones run for the hills.

Congrats are in order for your courage in reavealing yourself to an old friend!!

Congratulations, Honey!
Someone once told me we must define in our own minds, the term friend!
We have lots of acquaintences as we go through life, but friends? One of our sisters here came as close as I have seen to defining a friend? "An "acquaintence" will come to jail and bail you out, however a friend will be sitting in the cell with you saying - 'damn that was fun!"
Yes, most of us, if we think about it, can count our "true" friends on one hand and God has truly blessed you if you have one or two during your life. Someone who will drop everything and rush to your side regardless of the reason, if you need help! You have to ask yourself, who would I be willing to do that for??? If you can name one then count yourself as a true friend!
Love,
Virginia

Congratulations Beauty, that took some nerve. When I came out to my wife's sister she asked if I intended to tell her husband saying she thought he'd be okay with it. He's a bit of a redneck and so far I haven't had the nerve. When we visit I always get the best hugs from her and I'm pretty sure my secret is still safe.

Hi everyone,

Thanks for the congrats! It felt so good to do it. I didn't have any reservations at all. I felt I had to and I felt it was time.

Hearing all of you congratulate me and tell me my choice of friends must me pretty good made me think, "I didn't even think about that."

Thank you all so much!!! You're the most wonderful people I know and I'm so happy to be around you!!!

Beauty

Hi Beauty--
I just got in tonight, and saw the post. Good for you! Keep the ball rolling. It's great that your wife is OK with increasing the circle of those who know about this side of you. She has to have trust in your friends, too.

Is there someone who is next on the list, or are you done for a while?
A

Hi all,

Beauty,

You...

The situation...

Your friends...

Your wife...

...A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!

Love,
CJ

Hi Anita,

Yes, my wife knows all of them and was ok with me telling them. Years ago when I went through therapy I really lightened my load of friends. I only kept corresponding with friends I knew who were real friends. There really aren't any other people I stay in contact with that are male. Those were the 3 who are closest too me (friends). After that it gal central. All of them know about me.

So as of now all of my real friends actually know I'm transgendered. The only people who I'll tell going forward are friends who I meet and trust them enough to have them tell who I am.

LOL.. I just realized that I'm out to all of my friends. Very cool!

Thanks Anita!

Beauty

CJ wrote:Hi all,

Beauty,

You...

The situation...

Your friends...

Your wife...

...A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!

Love,
CJ

Hi CJ,

Thank you!!!! You're awesome too!! Donna's right you were an inspiration. Living your life did help me ask myself, "What do I have to lose?"

Thank you so much CJ!!!!!

Beauty

Hi, Beauty,

Having shared that you have now come out to all your male friends has raised a question in my mind.

Is their any difference in choosing friends that will be okay with you coming out to them, as opposed to choosing friends who are not interested in whether or not one is a cross-dresser or whatever?

The reason I ask is because:

Personally I like to function with the understanding: That if you have a secret that you don’t want others to know, then don’t tell me about it. Not because I don’t care about that person, but in the event that at some point in time I might let something slip (unintentionally) that could hurt my friend. And I don’t want to have to carry that burden.

I have also seen people set up like that. Where someone has told them something that is supposed to be a secret. Later accusing them of letting the secret out.

I am just wondering (not wanting to sound critical) I have friends that are based on what I am able and willing to provide for the community. Who have told me that we have the right to be who we are.

Darlene.

Hi Darlene,

It did sound critical, but you're my friend and I'm honored that you feel free enough to ask me. It was a fair question and I'll be happy to answer.

I should have probably worded my post better. I haven't only select friends who would be ok with me CD'ing. I had these male friends before I was even sure I was transgendered.

I chose these friends and let them into my life because over time they loved and respected me as I did them. Goodness knows I've had major spats with all of them, but through it all our friendships were strong enough to weather bad times. Our good times really outweighed the bad times. Each of them have told me things that they wanted to not let another person know (secrets) and because I'm TG'd I've really appreciated what that means and their secrets are safe with me. I feel keeping secrets is a badge of honor to be the holder of them.

I told them about me being transgendered, but I haven't ever asked them to keep it a secret. That wouldn't be too cool, plus I couldn't control if they did any way. Ya' know what I mean? They know I am not out to the world, but if they tell someone then it was meant to be.

I have totally told people things before where I'm like, "Don't tell anyone.", but even when I do that I know that once out, it's out. I honestly expect them to confide in someone. I think it's normal and only fair.

I hope that clears things up a bit.

I just re-read all of the support I got again and it just feels so good to have support from so many here. I LOVE IT!!

Thank you all!!!!

Beauty

Thank you for explaining that Beauty.

That sounds quite healthy to me.

Love Darlene.