Gawd awful reoccurring dream

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 4:39 am

Hi,

I don't know if I've ever posted this before, but I keep having the same kind dreams, but each time it's a different scene or theme.

I dream that facial hair has reappeared on parts of my face. When these dreams first started I'd have all of the facial hair back. In those dreams I was like, "Oh noo!!!" One time I even woke up and ran to the bathroom to look in a mirror.

As the years have progressed in my dreams it has turned to more like hair re-growing and not everywhere on my face. In the dream I look in the mirror and see hairs growing in places where when I had first started treatments I'd see them grow. It's always the same feeling. A total bummer.

It also seems so real (sometimes dreams feel like dreams to me). Last night it was one of the dreams where I looked in the mirror and I saw lots of hair growing back. It was even on my cheeks (which hasn't ever happened even in real life). In the dream I handled it well. I thought was more like, "Oh well.

I guess this is another 3 month mark." What that means is I've been getting treatments every 3 months now. It was every 4 weeks, then every 2 months, now it's 3 months.

The good news is there is still no hair growth on my face. On the corners of my mouth I feel a few new hairs that have grown in. The area is about the size of the head of a felt tipped marker. This is the toughest area to nab.

So anyways, that dreamed stank.

It did turn into another dream where I was TG'd (facial hair was gone again). That was pretty cool, but that's not what I was posting about.

I have wanted to post about this so many times, but haven't. Now if it happens again at least I can add to this thread and not regret not having posted.

Sorry if this was pretty boring everyone.

Beauty

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 7:41 am

Hear! Hear! Now,

Stop that.
All we are wishing for you are sweet dreams.

During my eight year purge I had recurring dreams that were disturbing. I would dream that I was dressed in woman’s clothing, in situations and places that were uncomfortable.

Darlene.

Jennifer · Post by **Jennifer** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 8:35 am

Years ago I used to have lots of dreams similar to yours Darlene, being dressed as a woman in front of family and friends and being very embarrassed about it. But since I dress daily I rarely have them anymore, I guess that's because I am comfortable about myself, back then I wasn't.

Post by **DonnaT** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 9:56 am

Well, at least yours aren't wierd. Last dream I remember is dreaming about alarm clocks waking me at all ours of the night.

My wife has dreamed of me being dressed enfemme, however.

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 10:59 am

I guess that's because I am comfortable about myself, back then I wasn't.

Ya Jennifer that is how it was/is with me too.

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 11:46 am

Hi everyone,

Thanks for the posts!!!

I needed that.

I have those dreams too, where I'm dressed and have to hide because no one knows or I have to get undressed real quick.

Thanks again you all!!!

Beauty

Merinda · Post by **Merinda** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 4:26 pm

Before I started wearing a wig I had a head of lovely longhair 1/2 way down my back , I would quite often dream that I was looking into the mirror and see a balding head looking back.
In some of those dreams I would have aged many decades as well , I would wake up depressed until I got up and looked into the mirror to re-assure myself it was just a dream.

Going bald is not a fear anymore since I started using a wig , then the dreams stopped.

Like you girls , I also have experienced the dream of being enfemme in an embarrasing public situation , once again when I started going out enfemme for REAL the dreams stopped.

Gelinda · Post by **Gelinda** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 6:09 pm

Beauty:

as my new therapist says, Beauty who have a deep seated fear of your lose of facial hair and what it means. Now what that means I do not know what that means. When I was hit with this statement from her on some of my issues and dreams, her being an outsider and hearing all about me could tell me what was causing the problems in my own mind. I wish I knew what to tell you to stop yours but I do not, sorry. Gee.

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 6:19 pm

Hi Gelinda,

This is a simple one. I have a fear that my laser hair removal isn't going to work and hair is going to come back. It's not traumatic or difficult to figure out. It's just an annoying dream.

Beauty

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 7:58 am

OMG!

It happened again!

This time I dreamed I was at a photo shoot with Jamie. We sat down chit chatted and just took a fun picture. When he showed me the picture I had facial hair, but in real life I had no hair on face. It was like I was in the twilight zone in real life. I saw a photo of someone yesterday that looked like that, so I think that's why I dreamt it. Regardless, that's two days in a row.

This one was interesting also because of the hair. I guess because it's been so long since I've had facial hair that imagining myself with it, it looked different than when I had it. It was a different color and everything. The one last night was more like I remembered.

Will tonight be the trifecta?

Beauty

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 8:27 am

Gelinda,

I re-read your post. I mis-read I thought you were saying your therapist (who I'm not a fan of right now) said something that he/she didn't say. Sorry about that. Actually the sentence I have to interpret because it's hard to read.

"As my new therapist says, Beauty who have a deep seated fear of your lose of facial hair and what it means." Did you mean you feel I have a deep seated fear at the loss of my facial hair?

If I'm being honest it kind of felt like you were trying to preach a bit of gospel and tell me in a round about way that since you no longer think you're a CD'r that my dreams are telling me that I am not comfortable with the facial hair removal so I should listen to my dreams/mind and don't do it. That's a guess and guesses can get me into trouble, but that's what it read like to me.

I've reworded this four times now. The best I can say is I think your therapist is behind the times, but is working for you so I wish you the best. Any advice by this person though I take like a forecast from a weather person, when it comes to gender issues and me.

I can't deny that my facial hair being gone does mean something huge. Now that the dreams happened twice I'm definitely going to talk about it with my psychologist. I think it's more about my deep seated fear the hair could grow back that means something and not that it means something that it's gone. I was very candid about my moment of angst with that and how it lasted all of 30 minutes, 2 years ago. I am so not interested in being a total male again it's not even funny. I like the line I'm walking and to have facial hair pull me back towards the male side would be awful.

I don't mind dreams. These are not nightmares. In both dreams in the past two days I didn't get up and run to the restroom or feel my face when I woke up, or wake up in a cold sweat. I mentioned this because in your initial post you wrote you wish you knew what to tell me to stop mine. I think I'm working it out ok. It just takes time with things when it comes to dealing with the mind. Quick decisions about very deep psychological changes are usually always wrong, unless the quick decision is to not kill or harm yourself or anyone else. Those are great quick decisions and aren't ever wrong.

Ok, I had to get that off my chest. It's been bugging me big time!

Beauty

Anne · Post by **Anne** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 11:19 am

I have had dreams like Darlene & Jennifer - first is was situations where I was way underdressed, usually underwear only, trying to get from the social situation I was in to a place where I could get fully clothed again.

In the last couple years I have had a couple rare dreams that the underwear was female. One I think the people I interacted with didn't mind so much.

Could be psychological interpretation potential here.

Beauty - it might help talking about it with your psychologist - your subconsious might relax a bit perhaps?

I posted in a different thread about what one would look like staring into a Harry Potter mirror. Can't count how many times I have gone to sleep wishing I would have T* dreams. Wishing you had a dream, at least for me, doesn't make one dream what you want.

Now only if I could stop dreaming of toilets when I have to go in real life while asleep.

Yours, Anne

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 11:22 am

Hi Beauty,

Denial is not a destination that I have pictured as your residence. I also read Gelinda’s post the way you did. I am confident you will resolve what ever you need to surrounding your dreams, just as you have been able to resolve other issues in the past.

Like you I don’t see it as a big deal. In fact I think you have a pretty good grip on the situation. You certainly are very honest about what you see happening.

Love
Darlene.

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 12:11 pm

Anne wrote: . . .

Beauty - it might help talking about it with your psychologist - your subconsious might relax a bit perhaps?

. . .

Now only if I could stop dreaming of toilets when I have to go in real life while asleep.

Yours, Anne

Hi Anne,

Yes you're right. I should talk about it with her. It's just the last thing on my mind so I keep forgetting.

I have an extended session with her coming up. Hopefully I'll remember. Thank you!

Now about that toilet thing.

You're crazy!

I love it!

Beauty

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 12:15 pm

Darlene wrote:Hi Beauty,

Denial is not a destination that I have pictured as your residence. I also read Gelinda’s post the way you did. I am confident you will resolve what ever you need to surrounding your dreams, just as you have been able to resolve other issues in the past.

Like you I don’t see it as a big deal. In fact I think you have a pretty good grip on the situation. You certainly are very honest about what you see happening.

Love
Darlene.

Hi Darlene,

Thanks very much for posting this. I needed the positive vibe coming my way.

You are someone who calls it like you see it, so it really means a lot that you think I've got my mental hat on the best I can. I'm also glad you notice I'm being as honest as I can. If I were any more honest I'd be posting from the future.

(I hope that came out right)

Thank you so much Darlene!

Beauty